


God Blessed The Broken Road

by kierathefangirl



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Bad Touch Trio, M/M, Prussia being nice to Romano, Some angst, worried big brother Lovi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-07-25 21:35:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 42
Words: 44,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7548025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kierathefangirl/pseuds/kierathefangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a story I've been working on for a while on Microsoft Word. It's got 81 pages 11 point font. There's some bullying (Germany protects Italy, Spain and Prussia protect Romano). There is some dialogue in other languages and the English translation is next to it in parentheses.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Won't Fight You (Germany/Ludwig's POV)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a long story, but it's still in progress. Bear with me. Also it's POV (first person) based. I was listening to "God Blessed The Broken Road" and this is the end result. It's one of my darker stories. I highly suggest listening while watching, it helps to get into the story. As my friend worded it, I don't run the madhouse, the inmates (the characters) do. I'm just putting it down on paper.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ludwig finds Feli and stops him from getting bullied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longer chapter. There's some German in here.

I shut my locker, clipping my backpack onto Gil’s. “You know you don’t have to.”

“You’re my little bro, of course I do! That’s why I’m awesome.” Gil grins at me, heading off down the hall and joining his friends.

“Please, no,” someone’s voice reverberates down the hall. No one turns, no one even flinches, and that draws my attention more than anything else. “I won’t fight you! Please, no!”

“Your brother isn’t around to save you anymore, you pasta-loving trottel!” some guy laughs.

I wince. He better not realize what he’s saying. I wander that way, sliding around the corner to see a young Italian boy backing away from a German bully I met once when I first got here.

I move down the hall, keeping a wary eye on him.

He sweeps the kid’s legs out from under him and he starts crying, pushing himself backwards and making no effort to defend himself.

The German boy takes no notice of this, reaching out to kick him while he’s down. He groans and starts crying harder. “Please, no. Please, I never did anything to you!”

“That doesn’t matter, _trottel_ ,” he spits.

I move forward, steeling myself. “Oi! _Was denken Sie, Sie tun, mein Junge?_ ” ( _What do you think you’re doing, my boy?_ )

He turns and glares at me. “Das geht Sie nichts an, trottel! Lassen Sie sich von diesem Ort weg.” ( _None of your business, [insert insult here]! Be gone from this place._ )

I raise an eyebrow in challenge. “Mach mich.” ( _Make me._ )

He crosses his arms, a smirk on his lips. “Oh?”

I cross my arms stubbornly. “Leave him alone.”

The kid crawls away and up to his feet, blood dripping out of his mouth and a startled expression on his face. It seems people rarely—if ever—stop this kid.

“You’re from Germany, too, you should know better than to pick on those weaker than you,” I push, glaring at him. “Or those you _perceive_ as weaker.”

He scoffs. “Ha! It’s kill or be killed, _trottel_.”

I raise an eyebrow. “I highly doubt it is here. This is _hardly_ a land of kill or be killed. Plus, I highly doubt you even understand half of what you’re saying. I lived in Germany until just a few months ago—as you well know. You moved here when you were five and have been speaking English ever since. _Trottel_ is more than just a curse, it’s a highly insulting word to anyone you direct it at. It stands for any number of curses. Don’t try using a language you’re not very familiar with just to impress. Scram, before I change my mind. I _will_ fight you.”

With one quick, frightened look at me, he takes off.

I move towards the kid, letting my tense and defensive posture ease. “Are you alright?”

He blushes, spitting blood on the floor and muttering, “F-fine, thank you...”

I move slowly up to his side, trying hard not to scare him away. Finally I’m close enough to put a light arm around him. “You’re spitting up blood.”

His blush deepens and he mutters, “I’m...used to it.”

I take one of his hands in mine. “Hey, just because you’re used to it doesn’t mean you’re not hurt.”

He licks his lips and spits up more blood, wincing. “Erm, I’m Feliciano Vargas. My friends call me Feli.”

“Ludwig,” I reply in kind. “You’re from Italy?”

He nods. “You’re from Germany, so...”

I shrug. “Doesn’t mean much. Come on.”

Despite his weak protests, I scoop him up in a cradle hold, sliding out of the hall. I head for Gil first, kicking at his heel until he turns around. “What?”

He pauses with a frown. “What...?”

I adjust my grip. “Someone else from Germany was kicking him while he was down. You know how that is, you know the rules. He’s a little taller than me, he came here when he was five. And he acts like he knows German but he calls everyone ‘ _trottel_ ’ so clearly he’s not as familiar with the language as he claims to be. I scared him off, he went that way.”

Gil smiles faintly at me and turns to his friends. “We’ve got a job to do.”

I continue out the door, turning to keep from hitting him on the edges.

Feli curls into me as if cringing, more blood dripping onto his lip.

 _Danke Gott I have a car._ ( _Thank God_ I have a car.)

I set Feli down in the passenger side, buckling him in carefully to avoid the bloody spot over his stomach.

I head around and sink down into the driver’s seat, closing the door and turning the key. The car roars to life and settles into a low purr.

I back out carefully and pull out safely into the street before picking up the pace, barely above the speed limit—enough to get there faster, but not enough to get a ticket.

Luckily the hospital’s not far, and I turn into the lot in record time. I pull into the closest spot I can get—three spots down from the entrance—and get out, pocketing my keys.

I head around, unbuckling and scooping up Feli again. I shut the door with my foot, holding him close and trying to keep him conscious.

I frown at him. “You have a brother?”

“Lovino,” he confirms. “But he graduated this past school year, he’s eighteen. I’m alone again.”

“No, you’re not alone,” I say firmly.

Feli blushes and smiles weakly at me. “I’m usually alone.”

I shrug casually. “Doesn’t mean anything. So am I, unless mein älterer bruder comes ’round bugging me.”

“Alter-er?” He asks, confused.

I shake my head. “ _Älterer_. _Older_ , in English. He’s older than me.”

“Oh,” Feli says softly. “You mix in German words?”

“Sometimes,” I allow. “Not usually. I always say ‘ _mein bruder_ ’, but I don’t always say _older_ in German.”

Feli squeezes his eyes shut, whispering, “It hurts.”

“It’s supposed to, unfortunately,” I agree softly, pushing the door open.

Feli curls tighter against me, trembling slightly.

I head up to the receptionist, and her eyes widen as she looks up. “Erm, this way.”

She opens the door to let us through, leading us down to an E.R. “Stay here, I’ll send a doctor in.”

She slides away. I lay Feli down, putting a light pressure over the bleeding.

Feli groans, shifting restlessly. “Ow.”

Finally a doctor comes in, taking my place at his side and putting pressure on the wound. “Hello, I’m Doctor Beilshmidt,” he introduces himself to Feli.

I take a step back, taking in the blood splattered over my shirt and gloves. “Hey, Dad.”

He smiles at me. “I taught you well.”

“It’s instinct,” I shrug casually.

I move over to the sink, rinsing my gloves off and wiping my shirt off with the sanitary wipes before returning and settling into one of the bedside chairs.

Dad sighs. “I’m gonna need a couple x-rays to see how bad it is. Stay here, will you?”

He rolls the bed out carefully, disappearing around the corner.


	2. Fragile (Feli's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feli's POV. He's a little out of it at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter. Feli's POV.

We start moving back towards the room and the doctor says softly, “You’re lucky my son—Ludwig—found you. You’re pretty badly hurt.”

I wince, coughing weakly. “I-it hurts...”

He sighs. “Unfortunately, it will. It’ll hurt a lot.”

He turns in through the doorway, plugging some random tubes into my arm and plugging the other end of the tubes into random bags overhead.

He turns towards Ludwig. “He should be alright, but he’ll be in a lot of pain. He’s pretty hurt.”

Ludwig sighs. “That’s too bad. He was only hit twice, he’s pretty fragile.”

That’s the last thing I hear before whatever liquid pours from the bags pushes me to sleep.


	3. Lovino Vargas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hospital contacts Lovi. Lovi is a concerned big brother and also disses a bit on Francis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Francis is a bit of a flirty ass, but not very bad considering some of the things I've heard about him doing in fics. Ludwig's POV.

“Do you know his name?” Dad asks as the kid finally passes out.

I nod wearily. “Feliciano Vargas. He’s got an older brother, Lovino Vargas, that he mentioned. But I don’t know about other family.”

Dad nods. “That’s enough to start with. Stay with him. I’ve got to wait for the anesthesia to kick in and the pain meds before I can do anything about his punctured lung and hairline-fractured kneecap.”

I nod easily, pulling my chair over next to him. “No problem. School’s over, anyway.”

“Alright,” Dad agrees, sliding out of the room.

**_~~le time skip, brought to you by Ludwig almost falling asleep and Feli being abnormally, really really quiet (because drugs, guys)~~_ **

Finally the door opens, and a boy that’s clearly older but still very similar-looking to Feli comes barging in, his eyes roving over him. “Jesus, Feli, you can’t even last a year without me!”

I keep my eyes down until he asks snappily, “Who are you?”

I look up, straining a smile. “Ludwig. I found him and got him here. Also the doctor’s my dad. You must be Lovino. The kid was saying ‘ _Lovino isn’t around to protect you anymore, trottel_ ’, which— _trottel_ is highly offensive, it’s German—is not only rude but entirely unnecessary.”

Lovino nods. “Si, I’m Lovino. It was that German bastard again, wasn’t it?”

I nod warily. “Ja. But you can’t judge all Germans based off him. My father, older brother and I came here from Germany just a few months ago. That kid came here when he was five.”

Lovino shoots me a wary glance. “I’ll keep that in mind. How bad is it?”

I sigh. “He’s got a hairline fracture on his knee—the kid tripped him—and a punctured lung. I stopped him before it got too far, he was kicking him while he was down and that’s very dishonorable.”

“Too far?” Lovino asks testily.

“Meaning when I got close enough to pull him off,” I say defensively. “He’s fought me before, he knows I can fight. And I set mein bruder on him, so he won’t be bothering Feli for a while, if at all.”

Lovino raises an eyebrow, the tiniest hint of respect in his eyes. “Your brother?”

“Gilbert Beilshmidt,” I say softly. “Bad Touch Trio, white ass hair.”

“I know him,” Lovino says with a stiff nod. “His friend Antonio’s been pestering me for a while.”

“I could ask him to back off, if you like,” I offer as an expression of peace.

Lovino smiles, just a little. “It’s alright. I think he likes me, if you get my drift.”

I smile shyly. “He’s bi, I wouldn’t be surprised. But then again all of the B.T.T. are bi, so...”

Lovino chuckles, his hand over his brother’s. “That’s interesting.”

I shoot him a faint smile. “Besides, it’s not like even the straightest men can’t appreciate beauty when they see it, no?”

He blushes and grins. “What are you saying?”

“You’re handsome,” I shrug casually. “And also a hundred percent Toni’s taste. They’ve followed me around enough for me to hear all about it.”

Lovino blushes scarlet and laughs. “That’s too bad, they can get on one’s nerves pretty fast.”

I grin. “Ja, they can. But they’re mein bruder’s best friends, I can’t really judge.”

Lovino pulls one of the chairs over and sits down. “Judge Francis all you like, he’s an ass.”

I laugh lightly. “Ja, he is. I can’t argue with that, he flirts with _everyone_. Even me, and I’m his best friend’s little bruder.”

Lovino mock-gags. “He’s got no sense of morality. He’s, what, three years older than you?”

“Four,” I agree lightly. “And his morals may be flawed, but he has them—his _own_ morals.”

Lovino rolls his eyes. “Si, I suppose so.”


	4. Lovi and Ludwig (Feli's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grandpa Alessio (AKA Grandpa Rome) shows up. Feli wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feli's POV.

I wake up really slowly to find Lovi and Ludwig asleep on either side of me and a white gown over me, my clothes draped at the end of the bed and blood-free.

Lovi’s head is in his hands, and he looks peaceful, if that’s possible. Ludwig’s head is on my stomach, and he looks calm and confused at the same time.

Ludwig wakes up first, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes before I let myself stir a little.

Ludwig’s eyes shift to me. “Feli?”

I rub at my eyes, yawning. “H-how long was I out?”

“Four hours,” Ludwig says tiredly.

I shake my head. “Grandpa?”

“Lovino called him two hours ago,” he shrugs.

My hand runs across some kind of thick, heavy, and really warm gauze over my stomach. My left knee is in some weird brace, too.

Ludwig glances at Lovi. “One of your ribs punctured your lung, it’s gonna hurt to breathe for a while. And you’ve got a hairline fracture on your knee, so it’s either wheelchair or crutches for three months.”

“I’ve had crutches before, they hurt your shoulders,” I protest.

Ludwig shrugs. “There’s also a wheelchair.”

Lovino finally jerks awake, his eyes refocusing on me. “Hey, Feli.”

There’s a pause before he protests softly, “You can’t even last a year without me?”

“Apparently not,” I laugh weakly. Ludwig’s right; it hurts to laugh, my lungs are on fire.

Ludwig shrugs. “He’s got friends to keep him safe this year.”

Lovino shoots him a rare smile full of respect. “I know.”

I swallow, coughing dryly. “Lovi?”

He raises an eyebrow at me. I frown. “Grandpa?”

He shakes his head. “He’s on an oxygen tank, Feli. He’s gonna be a while.”

 _You mean he fought another time? And got hurt?_ “Again?”

Lovi nods, sighing. “Again. But it wasn’t so bad this time.”

 _He won, you mean,_  I translate silently. “That’s good.”

Grandpa comes wheeling in, swiveling his chair through the doorway up to my side with a wheezy cough. “Hey, Feli!”

I grin at him, reaching out a hand to take his. “Hi, Grandpa.”

Grandpa smiles at Lovi. “Hey, son.”

Lovi blushes. “Grandson.”

“You don’t have no parents no more,” Grandpa pushes. “So I can be both.”

Lovi winces. I stay silent, suppressing a wave of pain.

Ludwig sits taller in his seat as Grandpa turns his gaze on him. “You must be the boy who kept ma boy safe,” he says approvingly. “Alessio, I’m their grandfather.” ( _Alessio_ = “ _defender of mankind_ ” _in Italian_ )

“I am,” he confirms. “Ludwig.”

Grandpa shakes his hand firmly with a smile. “Nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure’s mine,” Ludwig says politely, smiling back.


	5. Wheelchair (Ludwig's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feli in a wheelchair being cute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very short but cute. Ludwig's POV.

Feli settles down in the chair with a smile. “Hey, Grandpa, now I’m like you!”

His grandfather laughs, ruffling his hair. “You’re a tough kid is what ya are.”

Feli grins, wheeling his way out the door and towards the exit.


	6. Four Eyes (Lovi's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovi gets bullied. Toni protects him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning near the end (rape mention). Otherwise, very long. Lovi's POV.

I slide inside, casting a glance around for Feli.

Unluckily, I ran out of contacts and I have to wear my glasses again for a few days while they ship in. It wouldn’t matter if these high school kids didn’t beat me up for wearing glasses.

I push my glasses up on my nose, ignoring the stares of the other kids.

Toni pushes his way through the crowd to my side with a smile. “Lovi!”

I strain a smile at him. “Hey, Toni.”

“What’re you doing here?”

“Waiting to pick up Feli,” I shrug casually.

Toni grins. “You look absolutely _adorable_ in glasses.”

Heat prickles my cheeks and I avert my eyes. “I ran out of contacts for a few days. It’s not my choice.”

“I like it,” he insists.

I shove my hands in my pockets, casting a wary glance around. “Yeah, well, I don’t trust most of these kids. Every time I wear glasses I get beat up by one of them.”

Toni rolls his eyes. “That’s stupid.”

I smile faintly at that. “That’s my life. Full of stupid people.”

“I hope I’m not one of them,” he says innocently.

I shake my head. “No, you’re okay.”

Toni grins at that. “Cool.”

“Your friends are, but not you,” I correct softly.

Toni chuckles. “Yeah, well, I can’t really defend them but they are my best friends.”

One of my old bullies approaches with a smirk. “Oh, look, four-eyes is back.”

I shoot him an exasperated look. “I’m just here for my little brother, Feliciano.”

“Awww, you didn’t miss me?” he asks innocently.

I take a step closer to Toni. “Actually, quite the opposite.”

He pulls my glasses off and I hear them skid down the hall.

I let out a soft groan, closing my eyes. “God fucking damn it, not now.”

Toni disappears from behind me and I hear the soft tap of his shoes moving down the hall.

A fist connects with my face, my nose crushing down into my face. Red goes everywhere.

I close my eyes, wiping it away with the back of my hand. “Come on, damn it, you know I’m legally blind with out my glasses. It’s not a fair fight.”

“Who fucking cares, you gay faggot?” he spits, shoving me into the lockers.

My back screams out in protest as it connects with the cold metal, not very different from the screaming ‘ _nononono_ ’ in my head.

I spit the blood in the direction of radiating heat, and hear him hiss, “Gross!”

A knee hits my stomach and I sink to the floor, gasping for breath. _Come on, not now. Please not now. I have to be there for my little brother, damn it, not now you_ _idiota_ _!_

A sharp-toed sneaker digs into my lung from below my ribs, shoving out the last bit of air.

The foot pulls back and connects again, then vanishes. I hear the faint sounds of a fight—groaning, some angry voices—before my glasses slide back on.

I blink my eyes open, taking in Toni kneeling in front of me. “You alright?”

I shake my head, pushing up to my knees. “Not really.”

Feli crosses his arms, glaring angrily at the kid who kicked me. “You leave my fratello alone, or else.”

The kid takes off, gone in seconds.

“You’re blind without glasses?” Toni asks softly.

I nod weakly. “Legally, yeah. You know those abstract paintings, where all the colors blur together?”

Toni nods slowly. “Yep.”

I shrug casually. “Imagine that, only the colors are brighter, more vibrant. That’s all Feli and I can see without contacts or glasses.”

“Jeeze,” Toni sympathizes. “That’s terrible.”

“And people beat us up for wearing glasses,” I murmur softly. “Me more than Feli. If I catch them, I don’t let them near him.”

Toni picks me up cradle-style, ignoring my protests that I can walk.

Feli giggles. “Hey, Lovi. You know that one emotion we call ‘fuck’?”

I glance at him. “Yeah?”

He grins. “Well...you.”

I duck my head to hide a blush, shivering a little. _The name we gave that confusing scramble of emotions? Yeah. Confusion, frustration, fear, totally turned on, usually in some kind of pain. Damn that kid’s fucking observant._

Toni grins. “I’m not used to hearing you cuss, Feli.”

“Lovi named it,” Feli says with a shrug as Ludwig wheels him down the ramp.

Toni chuckles, making his way out the door with me in hand. “I can tell. He’s the one who cusses.”

“Fuck,” I mutter under my breath.

“Like that,” Toni says with a smirk.

I roll my eyes. “I named it that because it’s confused, frustrated, scared, and usually in pain all rolled into one. It’s one of those moments that even the kindest people cuss.”

“Scared? You?” Toni scoffs. “Impossible.”

I smile shyly. “Even the best of us have our moments. It’s not totally impossible. Especially when you’re in a compromised position where you can’t run or fight.”

Toni laughs. “Ha! I guess so, but I seriously doubt you’d ever be scared.”

I tug the keys to the van loose, tossing them to Ludwig. “We’ve got a van for Grandpa cause he’s wheelchair-bound. I brought it for Feli.”

Ludwig tosses me a keychain back. “Take good care of her, she’s a hand-me-down from Gil.”

I glance at the key. “A fucking Ferrari?”

Ludwig shrugs. “Trust mein bruder to get the fanciest car, right?”

I roll my eyes, dropping the keys in Toni’s hand. “Yeah, I guess it fits Gil.”

Toni laughs. “Yeah, it does. I’ve been friends with him for years. He’s got a Camaro now, a black one.”

“Red Ferrari,” Ludwig shrugs. “His two favorite colors: red and black.”

“Yeah,” Toni says with a laugh, heading for the Ferrari.

Ludwig helps Feli up into the van, buckling him in, and gets in.

Toni tucks me into the passenger seat, buckling me in carefully and shutting the door. Then he comes ’round to the driver’s side and sits down, turning the key in the ignition. “God, I love Gil. Best fucking car taste _ever_.”

The car roars to life and then starts purring. Toni grins, taking her out slow and then hitting the gas the moment we hit the road.

“Is it something with being Italian? That people, like, _really_ _like_ kicking you guys while you’re down?”

I raise an eyebrow. “What?”

Toni shrugs. “Lud told Gil, Francis and I about this kid who kicked Feli while he was down. German kid. We went and taught him a lesson, told him to back off. That kid did the same.”

I shrug. “I don’t know. It seems to be just Feli and I, really. I’ve met other Italians with less...violent interactions with others.”

“Weird,” he muses.

I close my eyes, releasing a slow breath. “That fucking kid. He’s been bullying me for years now.”

“Hm?”

I shrug weakly. “He’s been bullying me for years now. I met him in sixth grade and he...well, he kissed ass for a while, let’s say, and when I wouldn’t be his friend he started bullying me. Violently.”

“‘Let’s say’?” Toni asks, frowning. “Word choice, Lovi. What do you mean?”

I sigh. “If you tell anyone this, I’ll fucking murder you.”

“Cross my heart,” he promises.

I close my eyes. “Well, we dated off and on for a while, then he...I really don’t wanna say the word, but he got me alone and did _you-know-what_ to me. So I pushed him away. And he didn’t like that.”

“...I don’t know what you mean,” he says softly. “Did he beat you up?”

“Starts with an R,” I say softly, raising an eyebrow. “You know that thing everyone talks about but no one does anything about?”

“Rape?” he asks, then his eyes widen and he almost hits the brakes. “Wait, what?”

“Yeah,” I answer softly.

“O-oh,” he stammers, startled. “But... _you_? Why?”

“I don’t know,” I say softly. “And I’ve never told anyone. Especially not Feli or Grandpa. They’ve got enough to deal with. Dad and Grandma both committed suicide, so...”

Toni chokes. “Hang on, slow down. What about suicide?”

I release a slow breath. “Dad climbed up to the top of a bridge and free-fell. Splat. Grandma was found in the bathtub, gun in hand, bullet hole in her head. They both killed themselves. They’ve...they’ve got enough to deal with, especially considering suicide is shame in a lot of cultures. Depression or not.”

Toni slows a little. “Woah, back up... _please_. Depression?”

I avert my eyes. “You don’t need to know.”

He pulls into the hospital parking lot, sliding into a spot and cutting the engine but not getting out. “Lovi, please. Tell me.”

I glance at him, catching the begging eyes and the stubbornly still composure. “No.”

“Please?” he asks in this soft, on-the-verge-of-crying voice that hurts. “Lovi, please?”

I sigh resignedly, unbuttoning my jacket and tugging it off. My exposed arms protest at the blast of air.

I set my jacket down, flipping my arms over to reveal the scars up and down my arms. They skip the crook of my elbow each time, but other than that they’re everywhere. My right arm is more jagged, since I’m right handed so it’s harder to keep the knife still with my left hand.

Toni squeaks a little, reaching out to run his fingers over the scars. Some are fresh, and some are fading. “Lovi...why?”

I swallow. “I’ve always been told I’m useless, I was never meant to be. Accidental pregnancy. Unplanned. The outcast. Asked why I wasn’t more like Feli. I couldn’t take it anymore. It was this or follow Dad’s footsteps, and I could never do that to Feli.”

Toni slides a finger under my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. In this soft, cracking and broken voice, he whispers, “Lovi, please promise me you won’t do it again...”

I wince. “I can’t. It’s the only way I can keep from jumping. Or, in Dad’s case, falling.”

Toni shakes his head, unbuckling his seatbelt and mine before pulling me into a hug over the console. “Lovi, please,” he whispers, and I feel warm tears falling onto my black t-shirt and soaking through to my skin. “Please, damn it, just promise me that.”

“If...if there’s another way, I can,” I say slowly. “But...I haven’t found one.”

Toni pulls back just enough to look me in the eyes. “Lovi, there’s always another way. I’ll find another way, if that’s what it takes. I love you, damn it. _I love you._ ”

Shock runs through me as his ragged whisper reaches out to touch my heart. “Wh-what?”

Toni’s tear-filmed eyes lock with mine. “I love you, Lovi. I don’t know how else to say it. I love you so fucking much, and it _hurts_ to see you hurting yourself. Stop it, damn it, please.”

I swallow hard, unable to pull away like I normally would. To laugh it off. “Toni, I—”

“Please?” he pleads softly.

“I can try, but I can’t promise more than that.” I shake my head helplessly.

Toni lets go, holding my gaze for a few seconds more before he finally gets out of the car, trembling slightly, to come around and scoop me out of my seat.

I close my eyes, curling into him, sliding my jacket back on.

“Everyone I get close to, they get hurt...” I say slowly. “Mom died giving birth to Feli. Dad fell. Grandma shot herself. I...I don’t want the same thing to happen to you.”

“It won’t,” Toni insists. “That’s coincidence that the ones in your family you got close to are gone.”

“Not just family,” I shake my head. “My best friend was hit by a bus. One of my other friends jumped off the Empire State Building.”

“I would never do that to you,” he says softly. “Promise.”

I wince. “If...if I tell you something, will you promise not to tell unless I don’t make it?”

Toni hesitates. “...Okay.”

“I have trust issues for a reason,” I say softly. “In...in sixth grade, this one guy and I dated for a while. Same kid who beat up Feli. But he got me alone, and he did you-know-what. That was only...the first time. In eighth grade, some kid dated me just to see if he was gay, basically, and dumped me when he decided he was hetero. Then in sophomore year, this guy started dating me. We went out a couple times over a couple months, hung out a lot. But the next time, we took a route through an alleyway and I didn’t really like that. It brought back memories of sixth grade. And...well, his friends were there. And they took _turns_ , which was even worse. I haven’t dated anyone since.”

“Like, group rape kind of ‘ _took turns_ ’?”

I nod. Toni swallows. “Jesus Christ. And you never told?”

“God, no,” I scoff. “My grandpa’s a traditional Italian-Roman guy. Getting raped, it’s your fault. For not fighting hard enough, for _letting_ it happen. He’d shame me. And I could never put Feli through that.”

Toni sighs. “That’s stupid.”

“If...if I don’t make it,” I say slowly, ignoring the slight shakiness in my voice. “Tell Feli. But don’t tell Grandpa, he’ll shame me enough for not fighting back. Even though he knows I’m legally blind.”

Toni holds me closer. “You’re gonna make it.”

I shake my head. “If I don’t. If I make it, I make it and it stays a secret. If I don’t, you have to tell them.”

“Promise,” Toni whispers in that on-the-verge-of-crying voice again. “But if you don’t make it, it’s gonna take me several days to tell them. And several years to pull through, _if_ I do. I meant it when I said I love you. A lot.”

“I know,” I agree softly. “I can’t ask more than that.”

I close my eyes again, curling into him. With that, everything goes black and I sink at last into unconsciousness. _Someone knows everything. And isn’t judging. That’s a first._


	7. Lovi's Past (Toni's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After his past is explained, Toni understands Lovi a lot better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toni's POV. A little Gerita.

Lovi falls limp, unconscious. Finally it all makes sense; how he’s always defensive, why he’s jumpy around Francis when he jokes about basically raping him. I mean, it’s terrible, but...it makes sense.

I make my way up to the counter. “Um, hi. Is Doctor Beilshmidt in? Um, I’m his son Gilbert’s best friend, and this is Gil’s little brother’s boyfriend’s big brother Lovino.”

“Right this way,” the clerk says with a smile.

She lets me in the door, leading me into an E.R. “Stay here a minute, he’ll be right in.”

I lay Lovi down on the bed, making sure his sleeves cover the scars. I have a feeling the scars are another part of _tell them if I don’t make it_.

Feli and Ludwig come bursting into the room, and Ludwig is followed by his father.

Doctor Beilshmidt inclines his head. “Toni.”

I shoot him a tense smile. “Hey.”

“Where’s the worst of it?” he asks quickly.

“His nose is pretty bad,” I start quietly.

He scans a portable x-ray scanner over it. “Yeah, it’s crushed. We can fix that. What else?”

I tug his coat open, peeling up his t-shirt. Blood soaks the cloth, and his skin.

Gil’s dad winces. “Jeeze, poor kid.”

He picks up a couple sanitary wipes, wiping the blood away to reveal a raw patch underneath, flowing with fresh blood. “How long ago did he pass out?”

“Just a minute or so,” I inform him softly. “On the way in.”

“Alright,” he says with a nod. “Okay, I’m gonna have to take him to the scanner to make sure no bones are broken under all that. Stay here, you three.”

He rolls the bed out. I sink into one of the chairs, releasing a slow breath.

Feli rolls over, waving once to get my attention. “You look...disturbed. What’s wrong?”

I shake my head, straining a smile. “Just...something he told me. He said he’d want you to know if he doesn’t make it. But otherwise, in his words, he doesn’t want to hurt you like that.”

“It’s bad?” Feli asks, eyes wide.

I nod slowly. “Definitely. It’s really bad. Two things, actually, but yeah.”

Feli swallows. “Is it to do with him?”

I nod. “Very much so, yeah. The reason he has a lack of trust—which is really the disturbing thing—and something to do with your guys’ dad and grandma.”

“But...Dad and Grandma are dead,” Feli says softly. “They committed suicide.”

“I know,” I agree. “Lovi said so. It’s related to it.”

“You mean he’s suicidal?” Feli asks with wide eyes.

I shake my head. “Not exactly, Feli. If you really want to know, ask him. I’m not gonna break the promise I made. He doesn’t want you to know unless he flat-out _dies_.”

Feli flinches. “But he’s not gonna die...right?”

“I hope not,” I sigh softly. “But I can’t guarantee it. He’s lost a lot of blood already.”

The doctor finally rolls Lovi back in, breaking the tension. “Yeah, he’s pretty bad off. Five ribs in his lung. He should be dead already, I have no idea how he’s still breathing. But I’ll do all I can to save him. You, uh...might want to leave the room. I need to get the ribs out.”

I push myself shakily to my feet, leading the way out. Ludwig steps out and Feli comes rolling out after him.

Ludwig finally says something. “He’s...not gonna die, is he?”

I shake my head. “Like I said, I can’t guarantee he’ll survive. But I sure as hell hope he will. I’m hopelessly in love with him.”

Feli looks up, startled. “Whaaaat?”

I laugh nervously. “I’m not gonna say it again.”

Feli grins. “You love Lovi?”

I nod quietly. “Yeah.”

Ludwig laughs. “Well, that was unexpected.”

I cross my arms. “What’re you gonna do about it?”

“Hey, I’m not judging,” he laughs. “I fell for his brother.”

I laugh weakly. “I suppose so.”

Feli blushes and grins. “Whaaaat?”

Ludwig blushes and looks away. “I won’t say it again. Not in English, at least.”

Feli tilts his head. “Huh?”

“Ich leibe dich,” Ludwig says softly. “Same thing in German.”

“What, ‘I love you’?” Feli pauses. “Wait...”

“Ja,” Ludwig says with the slightest nod.

Feli, successfully distracted, blushes scarlet. “O-oh.”

Lovi’s secret is safe...for now.


	8. Feli Knows (Lovi's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feli finds out about the cutting. Lovi is basically like 'crap I couldn't even defend myself when he found out'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for Lovi cutting. Lovi's POV.

I snap awake with a gasp, my eyes fluttering open.

Toni is sprawled across my stomach. Feli and Ludwig are nowhere to be found.

I shake my head, pulling the weird metal thing off my nose and setting it aside. I pull my knife out of my pocket—I’ve always got a spare on me—and set it aside as well.

Toni wakes up, lifting his head and blinking. “Hey, you’re awake!”

I strain a smile, struggling up into a sitting position. “Yeah.”

Toni hesitates, his smile vanishing for a second. “You died.”

“Hm?”

He sighs. “You were dead for fifteen minutes. Then you just gasped and started breathing again.”

I shake my head. “I could never do that to Feli....or you.”

Toni smiles shyly. “Heh, I suppose not. But it still scared the hell out of Feli and I.”

I glance at my arms. My jacket’s gone, draped at the end of the bed. “Um...”

Toni winces. “Uh, yeah, about that...”

“Oh, no,” I mutter under my breath.

Toni looks up. “He knows.”

I raise an eyebrow. “He?”

Toni clears his throat. “Feli. Uh, look. The doctor took your jacket off to get the blood off. And, uh, Feli noticed the....the scars. I tried to keep him from knowing but he saw. He left the room crying and hasn’t come back since. Last I checked he was asleep next to Ludwig.”

A groan escapes my lips. “God damn it.”

“Yeah,” he agrees softly. “He doesn’t know about the, uh, the rape thing but he knows about the cutting.”

I pick up the knife and turn it, offering it to him. “I always have one on me. Just...hide it, okay?”

He takes it nervously, sliding it in his pocket. I close my eyes, releasing another soft groan. _Damn it. I didn’t...I never wanted him to find out. Especially not like this. When I couldn’t explain, couldn’t say anything to defend myself. Shit._

I run my hands through my hair, taking several calming, shaky breaths before I can speak again. “How...how long was I out?”

“Erm, three days.”

I wince, rubbing my eyes. “God fucking damn it.”

“Feli went to school only cause Lud and Gil dragged him along, he didn’t miss anything. But...it’s Saturday now.”

I release a slow breath. “Good for them. I am _so_ screwed.”

Toni raises an eyebrow. “What?”

I sigh. “Feli tells Grandpa everything. If he knows, Grandpa knows.”

“Actually, Ludwig stopped him from calling. Said it’s not what you would want.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Doesn’t mean he never got the chance at school.”

Toni shrugs. “I highly doubt Ludwig left him alone, how hard he’s been crying.”

“I am _so_ not ready to talk about this,” I mutter, running my fingers over my arms.

Toni reaches out, catching my hand and folding it in his. “I can try and buy you some time. A few days, maybe. But I can’t get them to shut up about it for long.”

I shake my head. “No, Feli would never agree to that.”

“You want me to go get him?” Toni asks tentatively.

I nod slowly. “Yeah.”

He nods and stands up, sliding out the door.

I take advantage of the silence to scream into the pillow until my voice goes hoarse, swallowing so I can talk. _I never wanted this. God damn it._

Feli rolls into the room, eyes still red-rimmed and hands shaky. “H-hey, Lovi.”

I roll back up to a sitting position, sighing. “Hey, Feli.”

There’s a silence before he asks shakily, “Why? Just...why?”

I close my eyes. “Because everyone I get close to gets hurt. Hit by a bus, jumped off the Empire State Building. Or, like Dad and Grandma, kill themselves. Because I’ve always been told I was unplanned, an accident, that I was never meant to be. Because everyone I’ve ever met hates me. Because everyone asks why I can’t be more like you. Because I’m so fucking overwhelmed and it was that or follow Dad’s footsteps, and I could never do that to you. Because people beat me up for stopping them from hurting you. Because my life went to shit the moment I set foot in middle and high school. Because I can at least try to keep it hidden so I won’t hurt you with my own fucking pain, because I love you.”

There’s a muted silence before he says softly, “But what if I found out?”

I shake my head, shooting him a glance. “I was very careful to make sure you wouldn’t. Long sleeves, careful when I showered, I made damn sure it was impossible. Because I could never stand the look on your face if you knew. I never wanted to hurt you, so I found a way to cope without killing myself.”

“What...what if you cut too deep one time?” he asks softly.

I shake my head slowly. “Impossible. I made sure of that. Sometimes, granted, it was jagged because I’m right-handed, not left. But none cut deep enough for me to have to go to a hospital. And even if I did, I could get away and fix it and come home before you knew any different.”

“Did you? Did you ever...have to...you know?”

I shake my head. “Only once. And even then, I went during the school day. I called in sick and went to the hospital, got it sewn up, came home and got in bed before you even came home.”

“January? Last year?”

I wince. “Yeah.”

Feli is silent for a while, head bowed. The silence is unbearable, but I don’t have the heart to break it.

Finally Feli speaks up. “Why didn’t you tell someone?”

I shake my head quickly. “God, no. Grandpa’s too traditional, he’d just shame me for it. I could never hurt you like that. I had no friends. Toni’s the first person I’ve told, and that’s only because he sounded like he was gonna cry and I was in too much pain to argue.”

“And cutting is just the bottom line,” I say softly. “It’s the reason I have trust issues that disturbed even Toni, and he’s pretty chill.”

Feli frowns. “What?”

“Ask him, I can’t say,” I tell him softly.

Feli reaches out, lightly touching my arm. “L-Lovi?”

I finally turn to meet his tear-filled gaze, flinching a little. “What?”

“How long?”

I shake my head. “Since...about halfway through sixth grade. That ties into what happened that year. Again, ask Toni for that. And I’m trying to stop, okay? Toni’s trying to help, and I’m trying to stop. But I can’t promise anything.”

“O-okay,” he says softly, taking a deep breath. “Y-you died.”

I shrug. “I could never do that to you. I fought. And I won.”

“I love you, Lovi,” he says softly.

I reach over and carefully lift him out of the wheelchair, up next to me, and pull him into a hug. “I love you, too, Feli. I always have, I always will.”

Feli hugs me fiercely back, crying onto my shoulder for a while before finally calming down and falling asleep in my arms.

I pull him up onto the bed, laying down next to him. He curls up against me, trembling a little, and holds a fistful of my shirt in a deathgrip.


	9. Grandpa (Lovi's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grandpa Alessio's darker side. AKA he gets mad. Lovi leaves and tells Feli to get out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovi's POV. Reasonably short.

“You shoulda fought harder,” he shouts.

I shake my head. “I couldn’t! I’m legally fucking _blind_ , Grandpa, I physically couldn’t fight! I couldn’t even fucking _see_!”

“What about those times you were _raped_?” he snaps. “You had your glasses or contacts or whatever you needed then!”

I grit my teeth. “That wasn’t my fucking fault! And I was caught off guard! Besides, it’s in the past and there’s literally nothing I can fucking do about it now, even if I wanted to!”

He gets up out of his wheelchair—he just uses it to use handicapped parking—and backhands me, hard. I stumble back, fists clenched. “You should’ve fought harder!”

“I fought as hard as I could in the situation I was put in,” I spit, dragging my already-packed bags and backpack from my room. “And I’m fucking _done._ I’m outta here, and I’m not coming back.”

I spin around and head out the door, trying my damndest not to cry.

Feli comes barreling out the door, tackling me to the ground and holding on tight. “Lovi, Lovi, Lovi, please! Please, don’t leave me here alone!”

“Get out,” I tell him fiercely, struggling back to my feet, and forcing him to look me in the eye. “Get the fuck out before he gets you, too. Call Ludwig, whatever it fucking takes. Just get out, before it’s too late. I love you, Feli, but I can’t stay here. Go, get out!”

Feli rises, trembling, to his feet and runs back inside.

I get the bags steady again, heading for the school. I can call Toni from there. _Thank God he gave me his number this time._


	10. Lovi's Leaving (Feli's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovi's leaving home and Feli's scared so he calls Ludwig and gets out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feli's POV.

I throw all my stuff into my bag with shaky hands, zipping it shut and pulling my backpack over one shoulder, the bag over the other.

I head out, closing the wheelchair and limping my way towards the door.

Grandpa _gets up_ out of his wheelchair, yanking me back by my collar and and hitting me. “You’re not allowed to fucking leave!”

I stagger back, panting. “L-Lovi’s leaving, so am I! I’m not gonna get stuck here alone. Leave me alone!”

I rush out the door, running until I fall onto the ground and getting back up to run some more until finally I reach the school.

I glance both ways before running across the street, crying hard. I fall down on the front steps, facing the student parking lot. I pull out my phone with trembling fingers, dialing Ludwig’s number.

“Hallo?” he answers almost immediately.

“Ludwig,” I gasp. “I’m at the school, I need you. Just come pick me up, I need a place to crash. I’ll explain on the way. I’m scared, I’m shaking, I really don’t like this.”

“I’m on my way,” he says, and the line goes dead.


	11. Need A Place To Lay Low (Toni's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovi calls Toni. They go to Ludwig and Gil's house. Lovi doesn't like being scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toni's POV. Generally normal length.

My phone starts ringing, and I jump, pulling it out. Lovi? What’s he need now?

I answer it. “Hola?”

Lovi’s panting voice greets me on the other end. “T-Toni, I need your help. Come get me from school, I need a place to lay low for a while.  God fucking damn it... I really don’t like asking for help, but I have no other choice. And don’t waste any time, he’s got a fucking car and it may not be the highest quality car but it’s fast enough if he knows where I ran.”

“I-I’m on my way,” I answer, bewildered.

Lovi hangs up, and I pocket my phone and race out to the car. _This can’t be good._

I pull into the parking lot in no time, spotting Feli panting on the steps of the school next to Lovi.

Ludwig pulls up, and Feli dumps a bag and his backpack inside before dropping his wheelchair in and sitting down. Ludwig takes off.

I pull up, unlocking the doors. Lovi pushes to his feet, dumping his bags in the back and falling into the passenger side. The movement reveals a red patch on his cheek, like _painfully_ red, but he quickly covers it and looks away, shutting the door. “Punch it.”

I shake my head, pulling out and shooting off for home. “What the hell happened to you two?”

Lovi releases a slow breath. “Grandpa.”

I blink. “What?”

He sighs. “Grandpa found out about what happened, plus the rape thing. And he was telling me—like I said—that it’s my fault, that I should’ve fought harder, blah blah blah. I said it wasn’t, that I couldn’t. So he hit me. I got my shit and told Feli to get out before I took off. Looks like he hit Feli too, cause I don’t know why else he’d be trembling that bad and running while _carrying_ his wheelchair.”

“You wanna go to Gil’s? That’s probably where Lud took Feli.”

He nods. “Yeah.”

I pull off, heading down the street towards Gil’s house. “He hit you?”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “I figured he would.”

Toni shakes his head. “One hell of a day, right?”

I laugh weakly. “That’s an understatement.”

He pulls into Gil’s driveway—luckily it’s long enough and wide enough for four cars, so Gil and Ludwig’s dad and maybe Toni’s dad can pull in if they need to—and puts on the parking brake.

I get out, grabbing my stuff, and let him lead the way up to the door.

He knocks quickly. Lud’s car is in the driveway, and Gil’s is in the side yard.

The door opens a crack and swings open. Ludwig steps aside. “Come in. I’m not sure what happened, Feli can’t calm down enough to tell me anything.”

I slide in, pulling Toni with me. Ludwig closes and locks the door behind us, closing the blinds. “So what happened?”

I sigh. “Grandpa. We were arguing and he hit me. So I told Feli to get out and we ran to the school.”

Feli come running out of one of the rooms, tackling me into a hug. “I’m scared, Lovi.”

I hug him tightly. “So am I, Feli. I know.”

“He hit me!” Feli exclaims. “He was up out of his wheelchair, too!”

“He just uses the chair so he can use handicapped parking,” I say softly. “He’s perfectly able. I mean, come on, he fights in boxing rings. He can stand up.”

Feli shakes his head, curling up against me. “He hit me!”

I land a light kiss on his forehead, holding him close. “I know, Feli. He hit me, too.”

Feli starts crying, rolling onto his side and curling up against me. “Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t know, but he’s here,” Ludwig says in an urgent undertone. “Outside.”

“Gil!” Toni calls softly.

Gil comes out of his room, blinking in the dark. “Toni?”

“Yeah,” Toni confirms. “Remember Feli?”

“Yeah.”

Toni sighs. “Well, his grandpa hit both Lovi and him. And he’s right outside. Think we can hold him there? I’m gonna call my dad, he’s a cop, but we’ll need to make sure he doesn’t leave.”

“Of course,” Gil agrees.

Toni pulls out his phone, dialing 9-1-1.

“Hello? Yes, um, can I speak to Officer Carriedo? This is his son, Antonio.”

There’s a pause and a click and Toni says, “Hello? Yeah, hi Dad. Um, we’ve got a police issue. Safety of...five kids at stake. Me, Gilbert, Ludwig, Lovino, and Feliciano. Yeah. Well, their grandfather hit them. Yeah. And he’s sitting outside Lud and Gil’s house. Yeah. Of course we can, but I’m a little scared of this guy. Yeah. Okay. Love you too. Bye.”

He hangs up and slides his phone in his pocket. “Alright. Come on, Gil.”

They slide outside, and Ludwig locks the door warily behind them. “I don’t like this,” he grumbles.

“I like it even less than you,” I scoff. “I’m the one who got hit, and he hit my little brother, too. I don’t like being scared.”

Ludwig sighs, sitting down under the window. “I don’t like being trapped inside with a violent old man outside my front door. This _is_ my house.”

“I know,” I agree softly. “But he’s _my_ grandfather.”


	12. Grandpa Alessio (Toni's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni calls Lovi the one! ^_^ Cute one. Also Gil calls Lovi and Feli family because Ludwig cares about Feli. Alessio (Grandpa Rome) gets mad when they won't let him near his grandsons and they both defend them angrily back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toni's POV.

Gil and I slip outside. The door clicks shut behind us.

Gil glances at me. “Why do you look so frightened, eh?”

“He’s the only remaining guardian of the love of my life and he’s terrifying?” I say softly.

Gil laughs quietly. “The love of your life? The Italian boy?”

“Lovi,” I shrug casually. “He’s the one. He’s gone through a lot of shit and he cuts and everything, but we can get through it together.”

Gil shakes his head. “Stubborn as always, my friend. Come on, let’s go confront Grandpa Alessio. That’s, uh, that’s what Feli calls him.”

I shrug, letting him take the lead.

The old man leaps out of the van as we approach, fists clenched. “I am Alessio Vargas, and I expect you to let me speak with my grandsons, you imbecilli!” ( _imbeciles, morons_ )

I cross my arms stubbornly. “Like I’m gonna let you near Lovi ever again.”

Gil sets his feet stubbornly, ready to fight. “You’re not getting near my little brother and his boyfriend.”

Alessio’s eyes narrow. “Boyfriend?”

“Oh, Feli’s Ludwig’s boyfriend,” he shrugs. “It’s pretty cute. Ludwig’s head-over-heels in love with him. He’s one of my family now, and that means so is his big brother Lovino. So back the hell off.”

His eyes narrow. “They’re _my_ grandsons!”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t’ve _hit_ the love of my fucking life,” I spit. “Let alone his baby brother.”

He glares fiercely at me. “You claim to love Lovino? Yet you don’t know how weak he is in a fight.”

I scoff. “Oh, he told me about how he was raped. I was there fighting for him when that kid threw his glasses down the hall. I know he cuts. Because he fucking _told me_ and he said he was scared, he was scared that you’d shun him because he didn’t fucking fight hard enough. And he fought, he did. I saw him try to kick the kid, trip him maybe, but _he_ _can’t fucking see_ so it’s not his fault he missed. Back the hell off. He cuts because he would rather cut than kill himself because _that’s how fucking much_ he loves his little brother, he could never hurt him like that. He’s far stronger than you know, you idiota. You don’t care enough about him to really know him. Feli is _crying_ , he’s so fucking scared, he’s clinging to Lovi like there’s no fucking tomorrow, and Lovi’s actually shaking. I’ve never seen him scared like that, and _you’re the one who caused it._ I’ll be damned if I let you near him ever again.”

Dad’s undercover police car slides around the corner, followed by four others, and they surround the car and therefore corner Alessio in.

I glance at my hands. I’m shaking.

There’s a silence before Gil takes a half-step forward. “They’re family. And I’ll be damned if I let you frighten, let alone hurt, my fucking family. I’d rather die. So leave my family the hell alone. Leave Toni and Lovi their happiness, let Feli and Ludwig be happy together. Because there ain’t shit you can do about it. They love one another, and that’s that. We’re one big family, and _family means no one gets left behind or forgotten_. No matter what. So stay the hell out of our lives, for good.”

“You can’t make me,” he spits, moving forward and shaking me a little.

Fear makes me cringe away, squeezing my eyes shut. My shoulders scream out in protest and I hear the door creak open behind me, footsteps crunching across the grass.

Ludwig comes running down, panting, and slides his fingers through Gil’s. “Hallo, trottel.”

Alessio scowls at him. Ludwig firmly puts his foot down, eyes narrowed. “You’re not getting anywhere near Feli ever again. He’s shaking, he’s so scared he’s crying. You have no fucking right.”

“Ludwig,” Gil protests quietly.

Ludwig shakes his head. “I’m not gonna just hide inside while you risk your life. This is the love of my life and his big brother we’re talking about. So back the fuck off, Alessio.”

I glance towards the open door, ignoring the pain in my shoulders from his vice-like grip.

Lovi’s in the doorway, shaking slightly, holding Feli upright.

Feli comes stumbling down the yard and Lovi comes running after him, refusing to let him come alone.

Feli slides his fingers through Ludwig’s shakily. “You hit me!” he exclaims.

Lovi slides his fingers through mine, shaking from head to toe but standing firmly at my side. “Let go of my fucking boyfriend,” he hisses, shoving Alessio back into the van.

I blink, startled, and glance at him. “Lovi...?”

Lovi shoots me a strained smile. “Hush, Toni.”

Finally Dad and another officer are next to him, and cuffs appear on his hands and feet. He jumps and nearly falls over, reaching out to hit me. Lovi pushes me back a step, catching his fist in his hand and pushing him until he staggers. “I said _no_.”

Dad shoves him into one of the cop cars and comes trotting over to me, panting. “Toni?”

I throw myself at him, hugging him tightly until I finally stop shaking. “H-hey, Dad.”

There’s a silence for a while until I release him, and Dad smiles faintly at me. “Hey, kiddo.”

I slide my fingers back through Lovi’s. “Dad, um, this is Lovi.”

Lovi smiles shyly at him, leaning a little into me. “Hi.”

Dad smiles at him. “It’s nice to finally meet you. Toni never shuts up about you.”

Lovi blushes and grins. “I don’t have much room to talk on that.”

Dad chuckles. “Hey, Gil.”

Gil smiles at him. “Hi, Señor Carriedo.”

Ludwig clings to his brother’s side, hand tight on Feli’s. “Hallo.”

Gil grins. “Uh, this is my little brother Ludwig.”

Dad inclines his head. “Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a bit about you.”

Ludwig smiles shyly, a faint blush tingeing his cheeks. Feli’s still shaking too bad to introduce himself, so Lovi inclines his head towards him. “That’s my little brother Feli. Feliciano.”

Dad shoots him a placating smile. “Hi. You alright, kiddo?”

Feli shoots him a shaky smile. “I-I’m alright.”

“Our grandfather just hit us both, he’s still in shock,” Lovi informs him softly.

Dad reaches out, brushing the red spot on Feli’s cheek. “No one should hit a child like that.”

Feli laughs shakily, smiling shyly. Dad smiles back. “That’s law. Child abuse is a criminal offense.”

Lovi ducks his head, blushing. “Uh, he’s done that a lot.”

Feli stops shaking, freezing in place. “L-Lovi...?”

Lovi averts his eyes. “Every time we fight. He just...doesn’t usually hit Feli. And he hit harder this time, even force to push me back a few steps.”

“That can’t be good,” Dad says with a frown.

Lovi shakes his head. “No. But he’s never hit Feli before.”

Gil and Ludwig’s dad pulls into the driveway, putting on the brake. Then he leaps out of the car and comes running over. “Are you kids alright?”

Feli looks up, eyes wide. “He hit me!”

Lovi sighs. “He’s still getting his head around that.”

He glances at Lovi with a frown. “Hm?”

“Their grandpa hit him,” I answer softly. “And Lovi, but Lovi’s more concerned about Feli cause it’s the first and only time he’s ever hit him.”

Lovi blushes and grins at me, leaning a little into me. “Yeah.”

The doctor kneels down, running his fingers over Feli’s red cheek. “It should be fine with some ice, there’s no permanent damage.”

Dad offers a hand. “Toni’s father.”

He rises up and takes it, shaking his hand. “Gilbert and Ludwig’s father. Nice to meet you.”

He heads over to the car, ruffling through a bag. He returns with an herbal ice pack, taking Feli’s hand and pressing the bag to his cheek with it. “Hold that there. You’ll be okay.”

Feli seems to be slowly calming down, the tremors subsiding and a different kind of shock setting in; him and his brother are basically homeless.

The doctor approaches Lovi, and Lovi flat refuses to let him get a look at where he was hit. “I’m fine,” he keeps insisting.

Finally I squeeze his hand, nudging him a little so he’ll look at me. “Lovi, be reasonable. At the very least you’ll need some ice.”

Lovi frowns at me for a minute before his resolve crumbles under my steady, pleading gaze. “Fine.”

He pushes off of me, crossing his arms but refusing to let go of my hand.

The doctor reaches forward, turning his head. Now that the damage has actually made itself known, Lovi’s cheek is bright red and there’s an imprint of a hand on it.

Dad pulls out a camera. “Um, can I get a picture for the report?”

“Go ahead,” Gil’s dad allows.

He snaps a photo, doing the same with Feli and giving Feli a light hug before ruffling my hair and heading for his car. “I’ll be back around dinner time, alright?”

I nod and he takes off. One of the cops gets in the grandpa’s van and drives it away.

Gil’s dad runs his fingers over the mark. Lovi flinches, not the same way Feli did—more _ow that hurts_ —and I can clearly spot the pain in his eyes.

The doctor sighs. “I think he hit you a lot harder than he intended. Not only are you bleeding, but there’s a couple spots you’re actually bleeding internally and that’s bad.”

Lovi frowns. Doctor Beilshmidt runs a finger over his cheekbone and pulls it away to reveal blood on his fingers. “See? You’re actually bleeding.”

Lovi sighs, tightening his grip on my hand. “It doesn’t even hurt.”

“It’s numb from sudden shock,” Doctor Beilshmidt explains. “It’ll hurt like hell once the shock wears off. I’ve never seen anyone slap a kid hard enough to make them bleed before, this is new even for me. But I know it will hurt, and it’ll hurt like hell. To actually make you bleed, he had to hit you at...at least ten miles an hour. That’s really fast, really _hard_ , especially for a human to manage.”

The doctor shakes his head, pulling out his handheld x-ray thing. He scans it and sighs. “Luckily no bones were _broken_ , but you do have a hairline fracture underneath that cut. I have no idea how he hit so hard.”

“He’s a boxer,” Lovi shrugs casually. “He had to hit hard.”

“That’s not good, he could probably hit you with up to thirty miles per hour of force.” Doctor Beilshmidt sighs. “Unfortunately, since you’re bleeding internally and have a hairline fracture, you’re gonna have to come back to the hospital to take care of that. Just a few minutes, then you’ll be set.”

Lovi glances at me. “Alone?”

“If you want to be alone, yes,” he shrugs. “I never said you had to be alone.”

Ludwig scoops Feli up, heading inside. Gil follows slowly, still in semi-shock.

Gil’s dad rolls his eyes, ruffling my hair. “Come on, boys.”

He heads for the car, sliding in. It takes some encouraging before I can get Lovi to start moving, and we slide in back side-by-side.


	13. Fractured Cheekbone (Lovi's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovi registers that he's in pain but won't admit it (we're talking about Romano, he wouldn't admit pain XD)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovi's POV.

_Explains why it hurts so much,_ I register vaguely. _Not that I’d ever admit to it._

I lean into Toni wearily. It’s been one hell of a fucking day, from Feli knowing I cut to Grandpa hitting me to Toni’s expression of pure delight when I called him my boyfriend.

Toni slides an arm around me, leaning back into the seat. Doctor Beilshmidt is silent, pulling back into the parking lot and into his spot right up front smoothly. He gets out, waving us after him.

Toni gets up resignedly, pulling me with. “One hell of a day, yeah?” he asks softly.

I laugh weakly. “That’s one hell of an understatement, but yeah, I was thinking the same thing.”

I press my face into his shirt, covering up the mark on the way through the waiting room. He tightens his arm around me, following the doctor but letting me set the pace.

Finally we reach the E.R. again, and Toni lifts me up onto the bed, keeping one of my hands firmly in both of his.

The doctor sighs, buzzing around for a minute or so before returning. “I’m gonna have to knock you out to fix the bone. You’re only gonna be out for five minutes.”

I roll my eyes, flopping down on the bed before everything goes dark.


	14. Bone Paste (Toni's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovi says "I love you". Toni is delighted. Cuteness and fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toni's POV. Cute and longer.

Lovi falls limp, his hand still tight on mine.

The doctor approaches again, carefully cutting down and pulling open his cheek, smearing some bone paste onto the exposed bloody bone. Then he sews the cut and the incision back up, reaching over and grabbing a cauterizer and opening up two spots lower down on his cheek.

He cauterizes the bloody spots, sealing the cuts back up with more sewing. “There. The rest can just be iced, but there’s not much ice’ll do for fractured bones and internal bleeding.”

He glances at me. “Never seen that before?”

“I have,” I tell him, shaking my head. “Just...it’s different when it’s the love of your life getting cut open.”

He laughs lightly. “Love of your life, eh? Kid’s lucky to have ya.”

Heat prickles my cheeks and I grin. “Yeah.”

He grins at me. “Yeah, I know. I’ve had my wife up on one of these beds before, it’s much more stressful. I know wha’ cha mean.”

Lovi stirs, groaning a little. I glance at him, lowering my voice. “I’ve got a feeling he’s in a lot more pain than he’s letting on. He’s the type to say he’s fine when he lost a limb because he’s more worried about his friend over here who’s dying or his brother over there who cut his finger on a knife or something. He says he’s fine, but he was wincing most of the ride over here.”

“Yeah, I pinned him as that type. My son’s just the same, Gil would stand between his brother even if he’s hoppin’ on one leg while he does it, cause he’s a family man.”

“He pretty much said that,” I agree. “Said ‘ _they’re family and I’ll be damned if I let you anywhere near them._ ’ Cause Feli’s kinda dating Ludwig now, he’s saying Lovi and Feli are his brothers already and he wouldn’t let Alessio come near them.”

Doctor Beilshmidt rolls his eyes, sighing. “Yeah, that’s Gil for ya. Even in Germany he was like that with Ludwig. ‘ _He’s my baby brother and I’ll be damned if I let you come near him._ ’”

“Lovi’s kinda like that,” I shrug. “You come near Feli, you touch him in a way Lovi or Feli don’t like, he’ll hurt you. But you mess with Lovi directly? Kick him, punch him, whatever, and he’ll just say he’s fine and to let it go.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, he’s kinda like that. Stubborn. But you can get him to cooperate.”

I grin shyly. “More like I know how to get him to cooperate. I asked him about something that he didn’t really wanna talk about and just pleaded with him until he caved. I gave him that same look and he caved just the same. I doubt I could resist if he asked me to do something, but no doubt he can’t resist it when I’m begging with him.”

He grins. “Good, either way. You balance him out, you can get even the most stubborn kid to listen.”

I grin back, eyes falling to Lovi as he stirs again.

Finally he moves, rubbing at his eyes and mumbling, “God damn that hurts.”

I shoot the doctor a grin, mouthing, “Told you!”

He smiles back, sliding out of the room. “Free to go,” he calls behind him.

Lovi blinks his eyes open, eyes finding mine. “I heard talking.”

I laugh. “Yeah, it’s kinda weird seeing him cut someone’s face open.”

Lovi grins, a faint pink blush dusting his cheeks. “Sorry.”

I laugh lightly. “Not your fault. Your grandfather’s the one who should be sorry. Besides, how many chances am I gonna get to see him holding a torch to your face?”

Lovi goes pale for a second. “What?”

“Cauterizer,” I shrug casually. “To get the internal bleeding to stop. Still, he held a fucking torch to your face. Pretty wicked.”

Lovi blushes, muttering something under his breath and reaching up to run his fingers over my hair. “That’s...not what I’d call it.”

I chuckle, grinning at him. “Yeah, well, we have our differences.”

There’s a companionable silence. Then Lovi sits up, and I say softly, “While we’re alone...you called me your boyfriend, Lovi. In front of your grandpa, and Feli, and Gil, _and_ Ludwig.”

Lovi blushes scarlet, averting his eyes. “So?”

I burst out laughing. “ _So?_ Lovi, that’s...that’s huge. And I’ve never heard you call anyone that before. You just say ‘ _oh this guy and I dated for a while_ ’, you never say ‘ _I had a boyfriend for a few weeks_ ’ or whatever. That’s, like, totally cool.”

Lovi smiles shyly. “Well, I never really considered them a boyfriend. They just kinda went out with me a couple times, that’s not really enough to count.”

“We haven’t _ever_ gone out,” I laugh incredulously. “I mean, the only thing that even came close to anything like that is I said I love you.”

Lovi shrugs casually. “Just because we haven’t doesn’t mean I wouldn’t.”

I inhale sharply, eyes falling to him. “Are you asking me out?”

Lovi laughs nervously, looking away. “Erm, not exactly. Just saying I wouldn’t say no if you wanted to.”

“Of course I’d want to, I’m helplessly in love with you,” I laugh, amazed.

Lovi blushes again, smiling shyly at me. “I...love you, too.”

I feel like I can’t smile any wider; I’m already grinning ear to ear. _Ohmygod YES!_


	15. Boyfriend (Lovi's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni mentions that Lovi called him his boyfriend. Lovi is embarrassed and it's cute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovi's POV. Cuteness and fluff.

Toni pauses. “While we’re alone...you called me your _boyfriend_ , Lovi. In front of your grandpa, and Feli, and Gil, _and_ Ludwig.”

Heat floods my cheeks and I avert my eyes. “So?”

Toni bursts out laughing. “ _So?_ Lovi, that’s...that’s huge. And I’ve never heard you call anyone that before. You just say ‘ _oh this guy and I dated for a while_ ’, you never say ‘ _I had a boyfriend for a few weeks_ ’ or whatever. That’s, like, totally cool.”

I smile shyly. “Well, I never really considered them a boyfriend. They just kinda went out with me a couple times, that’s not really enough to count.”

“We haven’t _ever_ gone out,” Toni laughs incredulously. “I mean, the only thing that even came close to anything like that is I said I love you.”

I shrug casually. “Just because we _haven’t_ doesn’t mean I _wouldn’t_.”

Toni gasps, his eyes widening and falling on me. “Are you asking me out?”

I laugh nervously, looking away. “Erm, not exactly. Just saying I wouldn’t say no if...you wanted to.”

“Of course I’d want to, I’m _helplessly_ in love with you,” he laughs.

I smile shyly at him. “I...love you, too.”

His grin widens further, and he looks like Feli did when we were at the fair and I told him he could have cotton candy if he wanted. “Awwww...!”

He pulls me into a hug, lifting me back to the ground and off the bed. “Come on, let’s go crash at Gil’s. Sleepover party. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind, after all the shit that’s been happening.”

He reaches out, tangling our fingers together and sliding out of the room.

There’s a moment’s silence before he asks softly, “Are we actually….like, boyfriends now?”

Heat floods my cheeks and I smile nervously. “If you wanna be, yeah.”

“Cool,” he says in answer, and I take that as a yes.


	16. Cute Photo (Gil's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prussia gets up really early to take a picture of Feli with Ludwig and Lovi with Toni.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gil's POV. And we've gotta have the blackmail photo moment, it's Prussia! ^_^

I wake up with a snap as my alarm goes off, and I turn it off, sitting up.

There’s just enough light for a cute photo. Feli is curled up next to Ludwig, and they both look peaceful. I hesitate for a moment, knowing I’ll probably regret this later, and snap a photo.

I look around before I spot Toni on the couch, Lovi wrapped around him and Toni’s arms wound tightly around him.

I lift my phone, hesitating again, before snapping a picture. _Perfect. Back to bed._

I pocket my phone, lying back down and sinking to sleep.


	17. Blackmail-Photo Type (Lovi's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovi suspects Gil might've taken blackmail photos so he tells Toni.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovi's POV.

I wake up slowly to find myself tangled up with Toni, his arms wound around me. _I’ve never been comfortable enough with anyone to sleep in the same room, let alone within inches of them. So I do trust him then._

Toni startles awake and grins at me, whispering, “Morning, Lovi.”

I smile shyly back, glancing at the others. Feli is sound asleep, no surprise, and Ludwig is watching him sleep with the softest smile on his lips. Gil is fast asleep, his phone in his hand.

I push up to my feet, pulling Toni with me. He stretches, following me out into Gil’s room.

I close the door to muffle the sound before turning to smile at him nervously. “I’m not usually comfortable enough with anyone to sleep in the same room, let alone within inches of them.”

Toni grins tiredly. I shake my head. “You’re different. I don’t know why, but you are.”

Toni laughs quietly. “Is that a good thing?”

I shrug casually. “I think so? I’m not sure. Did you notice Gil had his phone out?”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “Why?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Is he the type to snap blackmail photos?”

Toni hesitates. “Probably, yeah. I’ll try and get him to not take any.”

I offer my hand and he takes it, sliding our fingers together. “Love you.”

I smile shyly. “Love you, too.”

I slide out, casting a glance around. Gil’s awake now, twirling his phone in his fingers. Feli’s stirring a little, half-awake and mumbling under his breath.

Gil looks up and smiles at us, sleep still clouding his eyes. “Hey.”

Toni shoots him a smile. “Why’s your phone already out?”

“I was up taking some pics of the sunrise,” he yawns. “I got a pretty good camera on my phone.”

He turns on the screen, unlocking it nimbly and opening his photos to a picture of the sunrise from the blinds. “You totally missed out. Check this out.”

He holds up the picture. Toni rolls his eyes. “How early did you have to get up to get that?”

“Heh, five,” he yawns. “But it was worth the picture. I usually don’t wake up till about ten, I could barely see and I still got this one. Good, eh?”

Toni releases my hand, jerking his head towards the hall. “Can we talk for a sec?”

“’Course we can!” Gil pushes himself to his feet, following Toni into the hall.

Ludwig looks up. “Why’s he so tense?”

I sigh. “Gil’s the type to take blackmail photos. Like, photos of us without permission. Toni’s warning him not to.”

Raised whispers reach us from the hall and then fade away as a door shuts.

I shake my head. “I highly doubt he got up so early _just_ to take a picture of the sunrise.”

“Ja,” Ludwig says slowly. “He probably did. But if he did, he’s already got pictures. And his pictures of people don’t tend to be all that flattering.”

I sigh resignedly. “Yeah, I hope he didn’t but I doubt it.”


	18. Early Bird Pictures (Toni's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni confronts Gil. Gil confesses but insists they're not bad and shows them to Toni.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toni's POV. Pure fluffiness.

Gil shuts the door, flopping down. “So what’s up?”

I cross my arms. “I highly doubt you got up so early _just_ to take a picture of the sunrise. I’ve known you for four years now, I know better than that. Lovi and Feli might not, but I know better. Come on, spit it out. Did you take pictures of us?”

Gil blushes, going abnormally still. “Uh...”

I groan internally. “Come on, Gil, you know better! You don’t take pictures of people without their permission. Plus, your pictures of people don’t tend to be all that flattering, either.”

Gil raises his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. But this one’s good, I promise. It’s actually...well, it’s kinda cute. Especially since I heard Lovi has trust issues and Ludwig isn’t the cuddly type either.”

I flop down next to him, sighing. “Yeah, he does have trust issues. And with good reason. Look, you can’t bring this up, or tell him I told you, because I’ll kill you. But he was raped, repeatedly. Like, this one kid raped him in sixth grade. That’s when he started cutting. In eighth grade a hetero kid played him. In sophomore year, this kid dated him and then went and got all his friends together to _group_ rape him. He’s got a damn good reason to have trust issues. And it’s kinda sad how many people have messed with him.”

Gil shakes his head, totally serious for once. “That’s...damn, man. I almost feel sorry for him.”

There’s a silence before he says, “Seriously, knowing that only makes it even more cute. Cause he trusts you. After all the shit he’s been through...he trusts you. And only you. Come on, just look at this.”

He pulls his phone out, opening his pictures again and tapping one. A picture of us comes up. Lovi looks so peaceful and he’s curled up around me, his arms wound tightly around me and his legs touching mine. Knowing what he’s gone through, I can’t help but agree with Gil on this one; it’s cute, it is. And it’s not even all that un-flattering as his pictures usually are.

He scrolls over one. “See? I was nice on these, you guys are fucking adorable. I’m the only single one left, I’m the awkward third wheel who takes pictures you guys would actually like. Francis has Joan. You’ve got Lovi. Ludwig has Feli. I don’t got anyone.”

Feli is sprawled out next to Ludwig in this one, curled up against him, and they both look very peaceful. Ludwig is almost smiling, and he has one arm out over Feli.

I sigh. “Send that to Ludwig, and you can probably ask for Feli and Lovi’s numbers on the pretense that they’re family or whatever. And send me that one, and Lovi.”

Gil nods. “No problem, man. That’s all I was planning with it. I knew I’d regret it if I tried to blackmail you guys when you looked so cute, I couldn’t. I can take flattering pictures if I want. And look at this.”

He goes out and scrolls over, tapping a different photo. This one is Joan and Francis. Francis is smiling softly, pure joy glowing in his eyes. Joan is laughing, a beautiful smile gracing her face. The picture has the perfect, most flattering angle, the sun is shining down behind them and making Joan’s hair and Francis’ blonde curls glow with an almost angelic light.

“God damn,” I murmur, amazed. “You’ve gotta send that to Francis. That’s one he’ll cherish for years to come. He might even frame it.”

Gil blushes, grinning and sending it to him instantly with a short message. “ _No blackmail, promise. But I took this a couple weeks ago and I think you’ll like it. She’s beautiful, and this one makes it so obvious. I can tell what you see in her. Do whatever you want with it. ~Gil_ ”

Francis responds right away. “ _Oh my god, I love it! Thank you so much. ^_^_ _~Francis_ ”

“ _No prob, man. I meant it when I said I can get serious, flattering pictures sometimes. I mean, look at this pic of Lovi and Toni, then Lud with Feli. ~Gil_ ” He fires off the pictures.

Francis answers immediately again. “ _Oh my, they look so peaceful. I hope you can get one of Joan and I like that! ^_^ ~Francis_ ”

Gil grins. “ _I’ll see what I can do. ~Gil_ ”

He backs out and fires off the pictures of Lud, Feli, Lovi and I to me, then gets up. “Okay. Come on.”

I get up, shaking my head. “God she’s beautiful. Francis is so lucky.”

“Yeah,” Gil agrees softly, opening the door and heading out.


	19. Early Morning Pictures (Lovi's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gil confesses and sends Ludwig, Feli, and Lovi the pictures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovi's POV. Francis is portrayed as mean here, but bear with me; we haven't gotten the whole story yet.

Finally they pop back out, and Toni grins at me. “We’re good. We talked it over, he won’t do it again.”

“Again?” Ludwig asks warily.

Gil sighs, firing off a text. Ludwig glances at his phone. “Of course you did.”

He unlocks it and his breath catches in his throat. “Hang on, _you_ took this?”

Gil blushes and nods. “Yeah. I can take flattering ones when I want to. I mean, look at this.”

He fires off another text and Ludwig’s eyes widen. “Francis?”

Gil nods. “Yeah. With his girl Joan.”

Gil turns to me. “You got a phone? And Feli?”

I nod warily. “Si, we do.”

He holds out his phone, ‘add contacts’ open. “Put the number in. I’ll show you.”

I shake my head, sighing and typing in the information, for both Feli and I. “There.”

He takes it, firing off a text. Feli’s phone vibrates and then my phone goes off.

I unlock my phone, blinking in surprise. “ _This is Gil, by the way. Here._ ”

Three pictures greet me, each full of color.

One is of Francis with a beautiful young girl; Joan, I assume. It’s very flattering, the light at just the right angle so their hair is glowing with an almost angelic light.

The next one is Feli curled up with Ludwig, and I can’t fight the tiniest smile at that. Feli looks so peaceful, and Ludwig has an arm over him. It’s adorable, to say the least.

The last one is Toni and I, curled up together on the couch. Our arms are wound around one another, legs touching, and we both look peaceful. I can’t even get upset that he took the picture without permission; I love it. Knowing all that I’ve been through, how hard it is for me to trust someone...to see myself trusting Toni so completely is amazing. And to have a photo that encaptures the moment is just...perfect.

I shake my head. “You know, normally I’d get upset over something like this. But I’ll give you a pass this time, only because I know I have trouble trusting and this is just...like, I don’t know, I’m trusting him and that’s a little abnormal for me. But you try this again, I _will_ hurt you.”

Toni laughs. “That’s basically what I said, yeah. Gil called it cute.”

I shake my head. “Francis doesn’t look so...annoying in the picture. Not as stupid, not as annoying, not as...bothersome. He looks happy.”

Gil blushes and grins. “That’s the idea. I’m the awkward third wheel taking pictures that people might actually like. Francis said he loves the picture and wants more like it.”

I shake my head slowly. “I don’t want ones that I didn’t ask for, or give permission for, or whatever. But it’s good. And you’ll find someone eventually. If someone as messed up as me can still fall in love—” Toni tries to correct me and I raise a finger, hushing him, “—then you can certainly find someone. I’ve always been the awkward third wheel and I have Toni, so I’m sure you’ll find someone.”

Gil grins, embarrassed. “Heh, yeah. I probably will, eventually.”

Toni frowns at me. “You’re not messed up.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Oh, come on. I was repeatedly raped, you can’t tell me I’m totally fine.”

There’s a silence for a minute before Gil says with wide eyes, “ _What?_ ”

Ludwig’s mouth is slightly open, and Feli’s almost awake now. “Huh?”

Toni blushes and smiles. “Well, yeah, but you made it through. That’s gotta count for something, right?”

I shrug casually. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m not messed up.”

“You were raped?” Gil blurts out, eyes wide.

I wince. “Repeatedly, yeah. That’s actually what Grandpa and I were fighting about when he hit me. He says it’s my fault, I should’ve known better, I should’ve fought harder, etcetera. I said I couldn’t, I was caught off guard. And he hit me.”

Ludwig shakes his head. “That’s terrible.”

Heat prickles my cheeks and I avert my eyes. “That’s my life. Full of stupid people and shitty circumstances.”

Gil shakes his head. “Do they go to our school? Do we know them?”

I wince nervously. “You’re best friends with one of them.”

Gil and Toni exchange a glance. “What?”

I sigh, flopping down on the couch. “In sixth grade, this one guy dated me for a while. He was the first. In eighth grade, this one guy dated me for a few weeks just to dump me cause he was ‘ _experimenting_ ’ and was hetero. You know that kid who kicked Feli while he was down? The German kid?”

Gil and Ludwig both flinch and Gil nods. “Yeah, why?”

“He was the first, in sixth grade.”

Gil’s eyes widen. “ _What?_ ”

I take a deep breath, steeling myself to continue. “Then in sophomore year, this guy started dating me. Something Kingston. We went out a couple times. We technically dated for two months. Then he took a ‘ _shortcut_ ’ down an alleyway to the restaurant we hung out at. All of his friends were there, and they took _turns._ There’s a fucking reason I have trust issues.”

Toni sits down next to me. “Uh, that was the second thing from the hospital. When you found out about the cutting? That was the other one.”

I reach out and lace our fingers together, sliding closer to him.

Gil is abnormally quiet for a while. “I still don’t see where ‘ _best friend_ ’ comes in…? The group one?”

I sigh quietly. “Keep in mind people can change, this was two years ago. Okay?”

They nod. I take a deep breath. “So the kid who called them all there was Cody Johnson. You might know him. Who all was there? Um, Peter, Cody’s older brother. Jack Kingston. Theodore—Theo—Franklin. Brandon Caster. And Francis. Yes, _your_ Francis.”

Toni’s eyes widen. “ _Francis_ raped you?”

I wince. “Two years ago, yeah.”

Toni and Gil exchange startled glances. Gil shakes his head. “I knew he was a little overly friendly with you but that’s just...damn.”

Heat prickles my cheeks. “I know. I lived it. It’s pretty crazy.”

Feli is sitting up now, hand tight on Ludwig’s. Ludwig isn’t saying anything but he looks just as shocked as his brother.

There’s a tense silence before Feli breaks it. “You were raped?”

I wince, keeping my eyes off of him. “Yeah. In sixth grade, that’s why I started cutting. It got worse in eighth. But most of it comes from sophomore year. Again, I didn’t want to hurt you.”


	20. Trust (Lovi's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gil and Toni tell Lovi to stay with them at school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The previous chapter got a little long so I split it up a little. Still Lovi's POV.

Feli shakes his head slowly. “How can you trust anyone after that?”

I sigh quietly. “I don’t. The first person—other than you—that I’ve trusted since then is Toni. I don’t trust easy.”

Gil frowns. “Ludwig? Me?”

I shake my head. “Working on it. I’m trying, but not yet, no.”

Ludwig looks up, surprised. “What?”

I shrug helplessly. “I don’t trust either of you. Letting me crash here is a start, yeah. You taking care of Feli certainly helps. But it’s still...not enough.”

“Understandably,” Gil agrees softly. “Dude, I’m gonna go talk to those guys. This is outrageous. You’re coming to school with us, too, I’m not leaving you alone. Not now. Lud and Feli are too young to stay home, it’ll screw their lives over. You don’t trust me and I don’t want Toni’s perfect grades and attendance to falter. We’ll find a way to slip you in undetected, or we’ll ask the principal to let you stay on campus.”

I slide subconsciously closer to Toni, surprised. “You don’t have to...”

“I am _not_ gonna leave you alone,” Gil says firmly. “You’re cutting, you’re depressed, and you’ve got a lot of people who’d love to get a shot at ya. You’re staying with us.”

Toni slides an arm around me lightly. “I can’t argue with that, Lovi. He’s right. Maybe not Francis so much—we can probably get him to shove off and go bother Joan instead—but you’re staying with us.”

I close my eyes, unable to stay tense when it’s Toni telling me to stay with them.


	21. Principal's Special Permission (Toni's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Principal gives permission for Lovi to be on campus and gives him an ID card.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toni's POV.

“I’m sure you understand this is a special case,” she insists, passing him an ID card.

Lovi nods, almost hiding behind me. I nod quietly. “Of course. Thank you.”

I wave Lovi over, whispering, “Go hang with Gil first period. I’m gonna talk to those guys, then I’ll be with you the rest of the day. Okay?”

Lovi nods nervously, sliding out.

I turn to face her. “Um, one more thing. I, uh, finally got Lovi to tell me what caused him to be so distrusting. And this kid raped him in sixth, and he got group raped sophomore year. I’d, uh, I’d like to talk to those kids and ask them not to mess with him again, if that’s okay.”

“Of course!” she says, handing me a note that’ll allow me to pull them from class.

“Thank you so much,” I say with a soft smile.

She nods. “Now go, have a talk with them. And if any of them gives you trouble, just give me a name, okay?”

I strain a smile. “Of course.”

I slide out, releasing a slow breath. Lovi is standing nervously next to Gil, shifting foot to foot nervously. _I won’t be long,_ I promise him silently.


	22. Lovi's Past Affiliates (Toni's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we get more of the backstory from Francis and the group of 'friends'. Also the kids from years before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toni's POV.

I head for the credit recovery class I know Adrian is in. I finally got names for sixth and eighth grade, too, and I even _know_ some of these kids.

I knock softly and peek in. The teacher looks up. “Yes?”

I shoot him a charming smile. “Um, can I speak with Adrian Hoffmann really quick? Principal’s permission.”

He nods. “Of course! Adrian, go ahead.”

Adrian gets up warily, following me out. I shut the door and turn to face him.

He crosses his arms, eyes narrowed. “The hell do you want?”

I straighten, letting my charming smile disappear. “Do you remember sixth grade?”

He raises an eyebrow. “Vaguely.”

“Lovino Vargas? Tall, Italian, curly red hair, cute?”

He frowns. “What about him?”

I raise an eyebrow. “What do you remember about that year? Specifically concerning Lovino?”

He raises an eyebrow, arms tightly crossed. “I remember I dated him for a while. What of it?”

I feel a wash of ice go over me. “Do you remember anything to do with an alleyway?”

His mouth opens. “Oh, that.”

“Yes, that,” I agree softly, eyes narrowed. “You even realize how hard it is for him to trust anyone because of you? It took me _three years_ just to get him to talk, and even then only because another kid beat him up for wearing glasses and he wasn’t so stubborn then.”

He flinches. “I was twelve!”

I raise an eyebrow. “How many _twelve year olds_ raped someone? Come on, you should’ve known better.”

Adrian raises an eyebrow. “He was asking for it!”

“Oh?”

He falters a second. “He wore really revealing clothes to school, it was impossible not to notice him!”

I roll my eyes. “That’s no excuse. You so much as _look_ at him in a way he doesn’t like, Adrian, I _will_ find you. And you won’t get away with it. He’s my best friend, and I’m gonna help him through this.”

I push him a little back towards class, striding off towards the next class.

Some of my anger fades as I reach this kid’s class. This time it’s not so much him physically hurting Lovi as mentally screwing him over.

I knock softly and poke my head in, shooting the teacher a smile. I have him second, he likes me. “Hi, Mr. Luker! Can I talk to Donovan for a sec? Principal’s permission, won’t take too long.”

“Of course,” he says. “Donovan, get outta here!”

Donovan rolls his eyes, coming out of the room and shutting the door. “What’s so important?”

“You remember eighth grade?”

He scoffs. “Not really.”

“Lovino? Tall Italian, red curly hair, has a little brother?”

He hesitates. “Yeah, why?”

I struggle to keep my voice even. “You remember what you did?”

“What, dumped him? So what?”

“ _So what?_ ” I hiss, catching him off guard. “Because of you, it’s taken me three years to get him to trust me. To get him to not jump when I touch him, to not try and push me away. Just to be his friend. That took _three years_. And it may well have taken longer if I hadn’t’ve saved his life from Malcolm last week. Yes, your best friend. ‘So what’ is far too casual. He _is_ homo, he doesn’t even like girls that way.”

Donovan scowls. “So? He’s gay, so what?”

I take a deep breath, trying to keep myself from lashing out. “ _So_ if you even look at him a way he doesn’t like, I will find you and I will hurt you. I can be pretty vicious when I want to be. It’s your fault he doesn’t trust my best friends, that he hardly trusts me. I’m doing all I can not to hit you as is. Lovino is _my_ best friend, and you stay the hell out of his life or I’ll find you. Now scram.”

I storm off supposedly in a rage, frightening him a little—enough for him to listen, hopefully.

Finally I reach the class in which all the kids—minus Francis—who group-raped him are.

I poke my head in, calling all of them out but the kid who set it up.

They slide out nervously, and I shut the door behind them. “Do you remember sophomore year?”

They nod nervously and one of them blurts, “Is this about Lovino?”

I shoot him a strained smile. “Yes.”

“Cody Johnson made us do it,” he says hurriedly.

“How?” I ask patiently.

He shivers. “He...well, he threatened our best friends and said if we didn’t join in he’d hurt them.”

I nod, shooting him a smile. “Think you can send him out? Alone?”

He winces. “Uh, yeah.”

They slide back in just like that and Cody pops out, shutting the door and acting all cool. “Hey, what the hell do you want?”

“You remember freshman year?” I ask innocently.

He nods. “Of course I do. That was a fun year. Why?”

“You remember Lovino?”

He hesitates a moment before nodding. “Yeah. Tall Italian, red hair, sophomore?”

“Yeah,” I agree. “For one, he has a little brother. For two, you’re the reason it took three years for me to get him to trust me. He’s my best friend, and it took me three years to convince him I wasn’t going to hurt him. He’s had a shitty life without you adding to it.”

Cody raises an eyebrow, amused. “Him, a shitty life? Doesn’t seem like it affected him much, he was a lot of fun. And he ain’t got no family.”

I cross my arms. “One, you’re sick and twisted. Two, yes, he does. His name is Lovino Vargas. Feliciano Vargas, also known as Feli, is his baby brother.”

“The one who doesn’t know how the hell to fight?” he asks, amused. “Runs in the family, eh?”

I grit my teeth. “I’m doing all I can not to hit you right now, don’t test me. Listen, you even _look_ at him in a way he doesn’t like, and I will find you and I _will_ hurt you. I’ve just barely gotten him to trust me and I don’t want you ruining that.”

He laughs. “Ha! Yeah, I’ll remember that.”

I shove him back towards the classroom and pull the kid who told me about him, taking him with me towards the principal’s office.

Once we’re out of sight I slow down, letting a tiny spring back in my step. “Okay, what you told me. I need you to tell that to the principal, then we can get him in trouble and he won’t bother you again. You get me?”

He nods nervously. “O-okay.”

I slide inside and the principal looks up. “Yes, Toni?”

I shut the door. “Remember what I said about sophomore year?”

She nods. “Well, we have something new on that. The leader, organizer, whatever, his name’s Cody Johnson. Not only did he flat-out call it _fun_ , but then there’s this.”

I step aside. The kid blushes. “He threatened our best friends, said if we didn’t join in he’d hurt us. There were, like, five or six of us. And he threatened Francis’ girlfriend Joan, not that we ever _told_ our friends what he’d forced us to do.”

The principal writes that down. “Okay. Thank you for coming forward with that.”

He nods. “Are we...are we gonna get in trouble?”

She shakes her head. “No. You didn’t participate of your own free will. But this Cody, he’s gonna get in a ton of trouble. Go back to class, both of you. I’ll take care of this.”

She picks up her announcements phone. “Cody Jackson, report to the main office for early dismissal. Cody Jackson to the main office for early dismissal.”

She sets it down. “That outta make him come. Be a dear and tell them to send him to me when he gets there, won’t you?”

I slide over into the main office, forewarning them what’s going on. They agree quickly, waving us out.

I set out, smiling at the kid. “What’s your name?”

“Uh, Theo,” he says with a nervous smile.

There’s a pause and he asks softly, “Will you walk with me back to class? I have a bad feeling about this whole thing. He’s probably gonna beat me up if I go alone.”

“Of course,” I agree softly. “Your class isn’t far from mine.”


	23. Cody (Toni's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cody gets mad and attacks Toni. Lovi and Gil come to the rescue. Cody calls Toni Lovi's "lover boy".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toni's POV.

Theo slides safely back into the classroom.

“I knew it,” Cody hisses from behind me, throwing an arm around my neck. “You got Theo to tattle to the principal, didn’t you?”

I drag air into my lungs and duck, twisting his arm off my neck. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Your mom’s in the main office waiting rather impatiently on you, says she’s in a hurry.”

A fist connects with my nose. “My _mom_ is the principal, dumbass.”

“Well she is in quite the hurry, says she forgot about a dentist appointment,” I shrug.

He snarls, tackling me to the ground. The first name out of my mouth is “Gil!”

Running feet tells me he heard, and I try to pull myself loose.

Gil pulls me away, and Lovi stands, panting, struggling with Cody. “Leave him alone!”

Cody laughs bitterly. “Says the kid whose life was _so_ shitty, or so I heard.”

Lovi ties a rope around his hands and staggers back a few steps, breathing hard. Gil dusts me off. “You okay, man?”

I nod. “He’s not all that strong, just desperate not to get caught. Principal’s his mom.”

“Dude,” Gil laughs.

Lovi moves out of the way when Cody tries to kick him, still getting a graze to the knee.

I straighten, catching my breath. “Oi! Leave Lovi alone.”

“Lovi?” Cody laughs.

“You don’t get to call me that,” Lovi spits. “You have no fucking right!”

“Oh, and Spanish boy here does?” he laughs.

“Yes, because he’s my best friend and he’s _earned_ that right,” Lovi hisses. “You never did.”

“Hush, _Lovi_ ,” Cody smirks.

Lovi’s eyes narrow. I move forward, sliding my fingers through his and closing my hand tightly on his. “I said, _leave him alone_.”

Lovi moves a half-step behind me, tense and shaky.

Cody laughs. “I see how it is, lover boy.”

I reach out, lassoing his legs and tying it off. “No you don’t, because you’ve never cared about anything other than your own pleasure. Not about any _one_ else, for that matter.”

Cody rolls his eyes. “You’re fucking gay,” he states bluntly.

I shake my head. “One, gay just means ‘happy’, and sure I’m happy with Lovi. Two, no. I’m bi, and so is his little brother Feli. Lovi’s, like, demi.”

Cody raises an eyebrow. “Demi?”

“Demisexual,” Toni shrugs. “You have to be comfortable with someone, to trust them completely, to be comfortable with anything sexual. It’s kinda like bi, only less trusting.”

Lovi smiles at me for a second, then it’s gone. His gaze is hard and cold, and it’s the only time I’ve ever seen him angry. It’s a little frightening, to be honest, but I know better than to be scared of him.

Lovi’s stance is stiff and his hand is tight on mine, almost as if seeking a sense of comfort in the touch. “What’s it to you? Your sexuality is anything and everything. Who really cares who I like, who Toni likes, who Feli likes? Why should it affect _other_ people’s lives more than ours?”

“Because it’s wrong,” he spits.

Lovi stiffens, eyes narrowed. “We were just born different. The only thing wrong about it is expecting us to change just because _you’re_ uncomfortable with it. Fucking _deal with it_. It’s not your problem.”

Gil ties a bandana in his mouth, effectively shutting him up. “Principal’s office, right?”

I nod stiffly. Gil drags him off down the hall, ignoring the muffled curses and his weak attempt to resist.

I shake my head, coughing and spitting out a mouthful of blood. “Asshole.”

Lovi’s tension eases. “You okay?”

I strain a smile. “I’m fine. He just took me by surprise. Didn’t expect him to actually jump me.”

Lovi hesitates, frowning. “Don’t leave me alone with Gil again.”

“Why?”

“He had no idea what to do with me,” Lovi says tensely. “He kept looking to me for direction. It was extremely awkward, plus the fact that the teacher called on me once and I actually answered correctly and he looked surprised, and Gil was really startled by that. I don’t think he expected me to pay any attention to the class, let alone actually remember stuff.”

I roll my eyes, turning to face him. “I’ve never seen you angry like that before. It was a little frightening, despite knowing that you wouldn’t actually hurt me.”

Lovi blushes and grins. “That was the idea. I scared him a bit, that’s all I was going for. I can hold grudges for years if I actually get angry, you don’t really wanna piss me off.”

I shake my head. “That was more than a little scary. You’re soft and cute, that was hard and cold and _damn_ that was scary. I don’t scare easy.”

Lovi laughs quietly. “I’m not soft and cute.”

“Yeah you are,” I insist softly. “It’s one of the reasons I fell for you. You’re soft, patient, cute. Especially when you’re all embarrassed. You’re adorable.”

Lovi blushes scarlet and smiles shyly, flustered. “I’m shy and distrusting, I’ll give you that. But I’m not soft. I can’t be, I’ve always been watching over Feli.”

“I’m not saying it in a bad way,” I laugh quietly. “You’re not soft as in you’d never fight or get angry soft; you’re soft as in you’ve never had a hard, angry personality and it’s kinda frightening to see you angry. You’re soft as in _adorable and easily flustered_. And I like that.”

Lovi ducks his head, grinning shyly. “I’m not adorable...”

“Yes, you are,” I counter lightly, ruffling his hair. “Especially when you’re blushing. Hundred percent worth the patience it took to get you to trust me. _You’re adorable._ ”

His blush deepens and he ducks his head, laughing under his breath. “I can’t stay mad at you. I’m trying, it’s not working. Anyone else said that, even Gil, I’d smack them down and they’d never say it again. I don’t know what’s so different with you, but I can’t get mad at you—even when I’m trying.”

“You love me,” I suggest lightly. “And I love you. Friends and acquaintances have a different allowance on what they can or can’t say than the people you love. You’d probably let Feli say that without a vicious comeback. You might argue you’re not, but you wouldn’t be as snappy over it.”

Lovi looks up as if surprised, blinking a couple times before muttering, “I guess I do...damn.”

I raise an eyebrow. “I heard that.”

He blushes. “Love you. I’m not...used to the idea.”

I grin, sliding my arms around him in a gentle hug. He actually hugs back for once, but though it’s softer and more unsure than a regular hug, it’s a start. I couldn’t even get him to let me hug him when we first started hanging around one another. I couldn’t get him to let me within an arm’s length of him, let alone close enough to hug.

I wait until he pulls a little away to release him, lacing our fingers back together. He smiles uncertainly, his hand tight on mine.

The bell rings, making both of us jump.

I drop my bag in Luker’s and pop back out, sliding my fingers through his and leaning against the lockers.

Lovi keeps a tight hold on my hand, his eyes wide and darting everywhere. Almost everyone seems to recognize him, and most of them don’t seem to remember him fondly; kids sneer at him, glare at him, and react otherwise in a hostile manner. Only a select few wave, and even then they don’t seem too happy to see him.

Lovi seems to very much take notice of this, and his face falls a little every time someone else passes and doesn’t shoot him a friendly smile.

Feli and Ludwig pull out of the crowd to say hi, and Lovi forces a smile—but to me, it seems more like a grimace than a real smile. I’ve seen him smile before; even his shy or nervous smiles are softer than that. Feli doesn’t notice, and goes skipping down the hall hand-in-hand with Ludwig.

Finally Gil pulls out of the crowd, tossing us a smile. “Hey. I talked to Francis, he spat out that Cody threatened Joan and, in his words, _how could he ignore that_ if she was in danger.”

Francis weaves through the crowd, pulling out next to Lovi. “I’m sorry,” he says, and I can tell from his tone he means it. “He said he’d rape Joan if I didn’t do exactly as he said.”

“You could’ve told, mi amigo, we would’ve helped you out,” I insist softly. “You love her, she’s one of us. It doesn’t matter how sorry you are, he’ll never trust you and honestly I don’t blame him. He’s my best friend and I love him, I understand him far better than most ever will.”

Lovi dodges around to my other side, taking my hand on the side Gil’s on and leaning a little into me.

Francis sighs. “He said he’d do it if I told anyone, too.”

“We could hide her, there had to be something we could do,” Gil insists firmly. “If that happens again, _tell us_ , damn it, and we’ll find a way. We always do. The B.T.T. to the rescue.”

Francis hesitates. “He has friends everywhere. Well, people who would rush off to tell if I mentioned anything about it. People who’ve been threatened as well.”

“We can find a place no one goes,” I shrug. “Not too hard. You’re friends with the smart kids.”

Gil nods seriously. “Yeah, man, if you need to talk, we can find somewhere private. Some things...shouldn’t be overheard anyway. Serious stuff.”

Francis sighs, pushing off through the crowd. Gil shakes his head. “What’s up with him?”

Lovi hesitates, frowning. “I think...someone threatened Joan again. That’s why he hesitated when he said that he has friends everywhere who would tell him.”

I blink. “What?”

Lovi fidgets. “Takes one to know one. I know fear when I see it. He’s scared.”

I glance at Gil. “Meet in Luker’s for lunch?”

“Ja,” Gil agrees, eyes following Francis down the hall. “With France-y pants?”

I nod slowly. “Yeah. I wanna get to the bottom of this. Now get to class.”

Gil rolls his eyes, sliding off down the hall.

I slide into class, flopping down and pulling Lovi down next to me just as the bell rings.

“Good timing, Toni!” Luker laughs.

I shoot him a charming smile. “Just bringing a friend along for the ride, Señor Luker! I apologize for the tardiness, I had to fetch him from Gil’s. I was busy first so he hung with Gil.”

“Fair enough,” Luker allows.

“I got the principal’s permission, figured she’d let you know I could be a little late.”

Luker rolls his eyes. “Fancy much? She mighta emailed me, I dunno.”

I shrug. “Fancy enough.”


	24. Cody's Threat (Lovi's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovi spots Francis' fear and mentions to Toni that he thinks Joan got threatened again. They decide it's time to do something about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovi's POV. Tension (at least from Lovi). Bad Touch Trio friendship.

Francis flops down next to Gil, ignoring my instinctive recoil as he turns to face Toni and I.

He drops his tray in front of mine, and I pull it a little away. “So what’s up, mes amis?”

“You’re scared,” I tell him softly. “Of what, I don’t know. But I recognize fear when I see it. What’s the one place no high schooler in their right mind would go during lunch? A classroom.”

Francis’ eyes widen. “What about Luker?”

Toni shakes his head. “He’s never in the class during lunch. I asked for the keys cause he locks the door. Where we’re sitting, far as they can see peeking in the door the class is empty and dark as usual. They won’t come looking for us here. Plus Cody’s in the principal’s office for jumping me and trying to strangle me so there’s that. So talk. What’s up?”

Francis deflates a little. “Well...Cody said he’d rape Joan if I didn’t do what he said. Recently. And I don’t even know what he wants, just that he threatened her again. What it was last time, I don’t trust him. I think he wants to go after his crush, some girl called Sarah Starret, like...sexually. And he needs our help to get her alone. But I’m not sure.”

“Theo told the principal what he did to make everyone cooperate before,” Toni says softly. “About the people they care about most being threatened, if they don’t cooperate then this’ll happen or that. She knows. Plus it’s her son.”

Francis looks up in surprise. “Theo? He was almost trembling, he was so scared. Said his little three year old sister had been threatened.”

I wince, keeping my head down. This was Toni’s idea, not mine, and I don’t like it one bit. Especially not with how close Francis is to me right now.

 _Can you make him not sit so close?_ I scrawl, passing it to Toni.

Toni winces. “Hey, Francis, back up a little. You’re too close.”

Francis slides back, crossing his ankles. “What can you do about it? There’s not much we could—”

“Ha,” Gil cuts him off with a short, barky laugh. “Ha! Come on, for one, we can warn the poor girl. We can warn Joan and try to get her to a safehouse, per se. My place? Nah, too easy. Yours? You’d be with her at all times, no way he could get to her even if he knew where you lived.”

Francis pauses. “Actually, that’s not a bad idea. If I can convince her parents, mine, and her, then yeah.”

“Plus while he’s out of the way, we can get his spies out of the way. Like, find a way to protect the person who was threatened,” Toni offers. “If it’s a sibling, have a guard set on them. If it’s a friend, have them over at the person’s house and under supervision until the threat passes. Si?”

“This is why we’re friends,” Francis laughs quietly. “Oui, we can probably work something like that out.”

Francis moves back in to work out a plan, and I back up a little, keeping my eyes off of him.


	25. Joan and the Threat (Francis' POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Francis explains everything to Joan. Joan being a tough girl. ^_^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Francis' POV.

Joan smiles at me, her face falling a little as she notices the concern and stiffness in me. “What’s wrong, Francis? You look...upset.”

“Ah, nothing,” I try weakly, averting my eyes.

“Nothing? Honey, come on, I’m smarter than that,” Joan pushes.

I sigh quietly, glancing around and sitting down. She sits next to me. “You know Cody Johnson? Tall brunette, black eyes, Levis, vans?”

She nods. “Yes, everyone knows him. What about him?”

“He’s been going around threatening the people that people care about most to get them to do things. Theo’s little sister—she’s five, she was three when he did it the first time—Jack’s girlfriend.”

She blinks. “Well that’s not very nice.”

I wince. “He’s mainly threatening girls, for a reason.”

“Why?” she prompts uneasily, sensing the direction this is going.

“He threatens to rape them,” I explain softly.

Joan winces. “One, gross. Two, that is _so_ wrong.”

I sigh. “Well, he did it again, recently. And...he threatened you. I don’t know what he wants, but...I-I don’t want him to hurt you.”

Joan’s eyes widen. “What, why me?”

“Because you’re the person I care the most about?” I suggest weakly. “Because he knows I can’t just stand by and let him hurt you?”

Joan blushes a little and scoots closer to me. “Ask for help. I’m sure there’s someone who can stop him.”

I shake my head. “He got away with forcing five kids to group-rape an Italian boy, Lovino Vargas, in his sophomore year. Most of us were freshmen.”

“U- _us_?” Joan asks testily.

“It’s happened before,” I say softly. “I didn’t want to scare you, plus he has kids all over the place who threatened to tell him if I told anyone, and he said if I did he’d do it anyway. I’m scared he’ll do it again. The same thing, but with his crush. This time Lovi actually noticed something was wrong and brought Toni and Gil in on the loop out of earshot of the other kids. But this...it’s a revolution against him. If we’re not careful...Joan, he could go after you. He’s bi, he doesn’t really care if it’s a guy or a girl, but he’s....he’s sick, he’s twisted. He threatened to rape Theo’s sister when she was three, and he probably threatened her again, too. Once the spies are out of the way, once the people who Cody threatened to get them to tell are safe and hidden, then we can talk about it or something and spread the word that enough is enough, but... _ma chérie_ _,_ I can’t let him come after you. If we have a chance to catch him this time, to stop him for good, I’ll take it. But not if it puts you on the line. You need to be on alert, to make sure no one’s ever following you. Be more aware than you always are. If you can, stay indoors, at home, preferably with someone else in the house with you. You don’t have to tell them why you need them there, come up with something. You’re brilliant, you can handle it. Just promise me you’ll stay safe.”

“Always,” she promises lightly. “Just let me know when he’s caught, and it’s over. I don’t like having to look over my shoulder. But thank you for fighting this time. For not just letting it slide. Oui?”

“Oh, _ma chérie_ , you know I love it when you speak French,” I sigh, sliding an arm around her. “ _Oui_ , for you. I won’t let him hurt you.”


	26. Walk Home (Lovi's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovi decides to walk home. Five people in one car is too crowded. Cody shows up again and he calls for help; Francis, Gil, Toni AND Joan show up. Cody tries to get away by hurting/disgusting people (AKA beating up and/or kissing).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovi's POV. Some violence, but it's a brief shock of it.

Toni fidgets uneasily. “You sure? She probably let Cody go. He might come after you.”

“If he does, I’ll text or call,” I promise softly. “If only so he doesn’t hurt me worse than I already am. I can walk, I’ve been sitting around too much lately. I tend to walk home anyway.”

Toni sighs. “Fine, but if someone starts following you or Cody shows up or anything, _call_. If you can’t call, text me. Just get ahold of me somehow. Promise?”

“Promise,” I agree uneasily.

They all sink down in the car and it takes off. I would’ve been claustrophobic in that tight space anyway; you can’t comfortably fit five people in a car, unless it’s one of those minivans.

I shake my head, wandering generally in the direction of Gil’s.

I end up wandering up the path in a foresty park, taking in the scents of the pines. I have no idea how far in I am, but I decide to sit down on a log just off the path.

**_~~le time skip, brought to us by Roma sitting on a log and enjoying the forest~~_ **

“Having fun?”

I jump, startled to life by the voice that is so familiar and still sends chills down my spine. _Cody._

I pull out my phone. “ _Forest park. Not sure where exactly, but in the forest. Cody’s here. Not sure how fast you can run, but...well, you know what he does._ ”

I slide it back in my pocket before turning, stiff-framed with a steely glare. “What the hell do you want?”

“Just wondering how long you’ve been there in a half-asleep state like that,” he says innocently. “Besides, can’t I say hi to an old friend?”

I grit my teeth. “We were never _friends._ I didn’t even know you until that thing sophomore year.”

“About _that thing_ ,” Cody says in a voice dripping with ice. “Your new boy toy, Antonio. He’s next if you don’t help me talk to my crush.”

“One, he’s not my _boy toy_ ,” I spit bitterly. “He’s my best friend. And two, how the hell did you end up with a crush of any kind?”

He shrugs. “Happens to the best of us. And you’re holding his hand like it’s fucking life support, he’s more than a friend. All six of us jump him next if you don’t help me talk to her.”

I clench my fists. Blind panic tells me to run, to get to Toni. But my more logical side tells me to try, at least, to help. Even if I hate him. “Why should I help you, after what you did? It’s your problem, really, not mine. She’s _your_ crush. I doubt I even know her.”

“Sarah Starret,” he says firmly. “You met her once.”

I frown. “I don’t remember it if I did. Even then, I don’t talk to people. I don’t know, try and find some common ground? See if she likes the same shows, movies, books, or whatever it is you do in your spare time _other than ruining people’s innocence and lives_?”

He raises an eyebrow. “That doesn’t sound too difficult. Find out her likes.”

“Not by hurting or scaring others,” I clarify. “Girls might like the ‘bad’ kid, but not the kid who bullies everyone like an ass. Just ask her.”

“How?” he asks, and for once he doesn’t sound all to sure of himself.

I shake my head. “Why are you asking me? Just...I don’t know, say hi. Start a conversation. If she doesn’t answer or walks away without a word, she probably doesn’t like you back or in general.”

“It’s that easy?” he asks innocently, moving closer until I can feel his breath on my face. He reeks of drugs and alcohol.

I wince, trying to move back. He catches the front of my shirt, slamming our mouths together.

Hands catch the back of my shirt and pull me away, and I find myself wrapped in Toni’s arms, coughing and choking. Small tremors run through me, and I wipe at my mouth with the back of my hand. _He even used tongue. Gross. For once ‘wash your mouth out with soap’ sounds like a great idea._

Toni keeps a firm grip on me, but I can see his gaze locked on Cody, who somehow got knocked to the ground. Plus the fact that Toni actually looks angry, and it’s terrifying to see his ever-present smile turn into a scowl and his warm and fuzzy eyes turn to ice and fire.

Gil and Francis come running up the path, Joan stubbornly following Francis despite his attempts to wave her away.

Toni shoots them a smile, and it looks so much more natural on him before it reverts to a scowl and turns back on Cody. In a low, terrifying, _very_ dangerous voice, he hisses, “Leave Lovi the hell alone.”

Cody struggles back to his feet, smirking. “What’s the matter, lover boy?”

Francis comes sliding to a stop a step behind Toni and Gil comes a step ahead of him, almost shielding me. Gil’s eyes turn to me, full of concern. “You okay?”

I shake my head quickly. “I need soap. He used tongue.”

Gil shivers. “Gross. Asshole.”

I glance at Francis reluctantly. “You were right. He asked how to talk to Sarah.”

“Well, don’t fucking threaten people, first of all,” Francis snaps.

I wince, pressing into Toni. “I said that.”

Joan shoots me a strained smile. Francis nods once.

Toni tightens his grip with one hand, a cold stare worming its way under my skin and hopefully Cody’s, too. He looks so passive-aggressively angry, in the sense that he’s not moving but he’s glaring at him so fiercely even Cody’s smile is faltering a little and Gil refuses to look at him.

Finally he speaks again. “I got a picture for the police, perv. Leave Lovi the hell alone, or I show them what you’re doing. I got video confessions from all the people you threatened, including the so-called ‘spies’, and got all the people you threatened into a police-grade safehouse. That’s already turned over. Wanna add another thing to your record?”

Cody’s gaze is cool and calculating, but I can see the plan formulating behind his eyes. His eyes trail over to Francis’ protective arm shielding Joan, then to Gil, then Francis, then Joan, then back again.

He moves forward a half-step. “Go the fuck ahead, Antonio. Won’t change a thing, they have to catch me first!”

He coughs not-so-quietly under his breath, “ _Fuckboy_.”

Toni’s eyes narrow. Gil’s stance stiffens. Joan bares her teeth a little and Francis grits his teeth.

There’s a tense silence before Cody says, “What, you don’t realize? That’s all you are. His boy toy. Once he’s done with you, you’ll be history. He’s just like me, only without the threats.”

I fight the tears threatening to spill from my eyes, turning to look at Toni to check if he believes that. His eyes fall to me, and he smiles just a little, winking at me and mouthing, “Buying time, Lovi.”

My eyes widen. _Oh._

Cody finally makes a move, diving under Gil which trips him and kissing Joan, which effectively distracts Francis, before turning and knocking Toni down.

I back up a couple steps to the edge of the trail, trying to stay in view of the security cameras. I know they’re there, somewhere.

Cody moves forward, pinning me to the tree and forcing our lips together again. I fight him every step of the way, waiting until I hear the softly padded feet of police and the sound of a camera to push him off, coughing and choking. I spit on the ground, moving back and falling at Toni’s side. “Toni. _Toni._ Toni!”

Toni groans, spitting up blood and rolling to his knees. Blood is flowing from underneath his shoes, and he tugs them off to reveal blood pouring out of his ankles, which are scraped raw from the angle he fell.

“Shit,” he mutters, spitting again and flopping down.

The police come up, cuffing Cody and dragging him, kicking and screaming, down the trail.

I wipe at my mouth, getting up and struggling over to Gil. He’s still, too still. I shake him a little, feeling the slightest worry. He’s proven time and time again he can be trusted, and he’s alright enough. As much as I don’t trust him, I don’t want him to die, either.

I shake Gil again. “Gil? Oi, blondie. _Gil_ god damn it answer me.”

Gil coughs, and a tooth comes out of his throat. I catch it instinctively as he starts breathing again with a gasp. “Ow,” he groans, tongue brushing the hole. “Holy shit that kid’s fast. He punched me and tripped me at the same time.”

I drop the tooth in his hand. “You okay?”

“Thought you didn’t trust me?” Gil asks back.

I shake my head. “Don’t trust doesn’t mean _don’t like_ or willing to let you just _die_. I’m not heartless. Just...careful who I trust.”

He laughs weakly. “I’ll be fine. Shin hurts a bit and my back didn’t like getting suddenly landed on, but it’s a bruise at worst.”

I push shakily to my feet, sliding over to Francis and dodging around to Joan. Francis is on the ground, and Joan is almost crying. “Gross!”

I look her up and down once. She seems physically unharmed. “Are you okay?”

She shakes her head. “He _kissed_ me! And he hurt Francis!”

I kneel down, setting aside my dislike and distrust of Francis and focusing on his and Gil’s friendship. “Francis?”

Francis groans, pushing to his feet one-handed. I follow him up to my feet, swallowing the instinct to run and looking over his shoulder. _Dislocated._

I hesitate. “It’s just dislocated, here.”

I reach out, shoving it back in place. He groans, shaking his arm out. “Ow. He’s one strong kid.”

“Strong and fast,” I agree softly. “Otherwise he wouldn’t’ve be able to rape the kids he did.”

Francis winces. “Sorry.”

I shake my head. “Not your fault. You were protecting her.”

I nod towards Joan. “I would’ve done no different if Feli or Toni were on the line.”

“Toni?” Francis asks, his eyes refocusing on me. “Why him?”

I hesitate. “We’re a little more than friends. He’s head-over-heels in love with me, in his words. And try as I might to resist, I’ve fallen anyway. God damn it, I love him. Plus he’s bleeding right now.”

Francis sighs. “I figured. He doesn’t constantly hold hands with and hug just _anybody_. He’s not one of those weirdos. Are you alright?”

I wince, fidgeting a little. “Fine. A little soap and I’ll be okay.”

Joan hugs me, whispering, “Thank you,” in my ear. I nod a little, gently hugging her back. I’m not really a big fan of hugs, but I won’t refuse an offered one.

She releases me and strains a smile. I wait until Gil gets to his feet, albeit a little shaky, before sliding past him back over to Toni.

I fall down next to him, coughing again. “How bad is it?”

“Eh, I’ll be alright,” he shrugs it off. “Just a bit of gauze. Let’s get to Gil’s and call his dad, tell him to bring stuff for scraped-to-hell ankles.”

I shake my head. “You’re not walking on that. Hell no.”

Toni laughs. “Says who?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Says the fool who fell in love with you. You sit your ass down, I’m sure he can come to us. I’ve got his number. I’ve been in too many times to not.”

Toni stretches his legs above the ground and sets them down on his blood-soaked socks. “Fine, whatever.”

I pull out my phone, snapping a photo of his ankles where they rest on the socks and sending that first. “ _Toni got badly hurt. Bring gauze at least, he’s bleeding everywhere. Maybe bring a block of soap and some water, too. Cody kissed me and Joan. With tongue. Gross. I think Gil’s hurt and he choked on his tooth. And Francis’ arm got dislocated, too. But the police got him. We’re just a bit beat up. ~Lovi_ ”

He responds instantly. “ _On my way. Where are you?_ ”

I glance up at a sign. “ _Greenwood Park, up the path a ways._ ”

“ _Got it. Just give me five minutes._ ”

“ _You might not have that much time,_ ” I fire back. “ _Toni’s bleeding pretty heavily, he’s already a bit faint._ ”

I pocket my phone, sighing. At least he's caught now.


	27. Lovi At The Hospital (Toni's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni wakes up (after 2 days under). Lovi is stressed and upset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toni's POV. Cute fluff.

I close my eyes and everything goes black.

I wake up an immeasurable time later, thick gauze pasted over my ankles. Lovi is asleep across my chest, hair a mess and shaking slightly. My arm is draped over him, and he seems semi-pleased with the arrangement.

I shift a little, getting comfortable and releasing a nearly inaudible sigh. _I hate hospitals. It’s where I lost my grandparents._

Lovi moves slightly, lifting his head enough to look at me. “Hey.”

I peek an eye open. “Hola.”

He smiles the tiniest bit, a spark of relief in his eyes. “You’ve been out two days.”

I swallow. I can only imagine what that did to him, knowing what two, three days did to me in the reverse. “Gil? Francis?”

“Gil had a tooth knocked out. Francis had a dislocated shoulder. They’re both okay. After some soap and water for Joan and I, we’re okay. Well, she’s fine.”

I frown. “And you’re not?”

Lovi winces as if he wishes he hadn’t’ve said that. “Erm…these past couple days haven’t been easy. I kinda got used to you always being around when I need you.”

I struggle up to a sitting position and pull him up next to me, getting comfortable and settling down. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

He blushes and ducks his head. “A hell of a lot. God damn it. You’re too easy to talk to. I can’t _not_ answer.”

A smile brushes my lips and I pull him closer, softening my voice. “What happened?”

“They had to postpone Cody’s trial cause I flipped out,” he spits out, blushing. “Cody tried to jump me and they had to drag him out, and I went into a panic attack. No one could pull me out. So they postponed it until you’re able to be there.”

I slide my fingers through his, saying insistently, “That’s not your fault.”

His blush deepens. “I heard the judge saying ‘ _until we can have someone here who can keep that one calm_ ’. I’m not deaf, even when I’m panicking.”

“Honey,” I say softly, forcing him to look at me. “It’s not your fault. No one would’ve acted differently in your place.”

Lovi falls into me, sobs shaking him a little. “What Cody did, when you pulled him away and when he knocked you down. That’s why I can’t trust. Because he does that all the time around school, at the park, and I’m sick and tired of running. I can’t fight, I’m not strong enough. He didn’t stop at once.”

I slide my arms around him, tucking his head under mine. “Lovi, honey, that’s his problem. He’s messed up and twisted and sick and that has nothing to do with you. He has no self control. You’re special, you’re better than him. That sounds egotistical or whatever but it’s not. He does things you couldn’t even _attempt_ to do. You. Are. Perfect. Just the way you are. And nothing can change that. He’s got issues. You don’t. He taught you what you can never be, and that’s good to know. To know your limits.”

Lovi just cries for a while until he finally calms, and falls asleep tucked against me.

I whisper, “Awwww...”, and lay back down, pulling him down next to me.


	28. What You Missed (Lovi's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovi being self-conscious. Lovi starting to really trust Toni. Cute fluff. ^_^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovi's POV.

I wake up slowly, tucked in Toni’s warm embrace. For once, my fears and my own distrust and insecurities seem small. He looks peaceful, and the position is so natural on him it’s almost as if he’s been there before.

Toni stirs, peeking an eye at me. “Hi.”

I smile nervously. “Hi.”

I clear my throat to get rid of the scratchiness, fidgeting a little.

Toni reaches out and kisses the tip of my nose, which sends shivers down my spine. “Feeling better?”

“A bit,” I allow softly, snuggling against him. “Still feel like hell. And like crying. But a little better.”

Toni tightens his grip. “Hey, crying is natural. Even I’ve been there. I don’t like hospitals for a reason. My grandparents died in one. Took me months to get myself together.”

A tiny shiver runs through me. _So that’s why he said ‘let’s go to Gil’s’ instead of the hospital._

A tear slips down my face, and Toni catches it with his thumb, wiping it off on his jeans. “I’ve had my moments. Months here and there. I’m not perfect, even I can’t be happy all the time. But I try to stay positive because if I don’t, people around me suffer and that makes me suffer. I’m kinda people-oriented that way. If someone else is crying, I hurt for them. If they’re smiling, even if it’s shy or nervous or whatever, I’m smiling.”

I laugh weakly, sliding my arms around him to pull him closer. “That has to suck, though. A lot of people are depressed and cry a lot. Very few people can be as cheerful as you.”

“Eh, I learned it over time,” Toni shrugs casually. “People can rarely stop smiling around me, and if they do I can find a way to make it better. Yeah? Gil says I’m ‘aggressively optimistic’. It’s nigh on impossible to stay upset around me, or so I hear. Smiling is contagious.”

I laugh helplessly, squeezing my eyes shut. The last of the tears fall and my eyes finally dry, my fears and problems fading the longer I stay close to him. He’s got an almost magnetic pull that takes away all the negative, leaving only cheer in its place.

After a short silence, I tell him, “Feli and Ludwig are officially dating now, or so I hear. Lud asked Feli out to a fancy restaurant, _once all this madness is over_. Also Francis and Gil haven’t been going to school. They got excuses from Doctor Beilshmidt to stick around.”

Toni rolls his eyes. “Of course they did. They out in the waiting room?”

I nod. “Yep.”

Toni shoots me a soft smile. “But not you?”

Heat floods my cheeks. “I couldn’t. God damn it, I love you. They might call you a friend, they might say they care, but they got a full night’s sleep. I slept, what, thirty minutes before I was awake again? Gil’s dad let me in and I crashed in here.”

“You were sprawled across me when I woke up,” Toni laughs. “That’s exactly what happened with me. Only in reverse. They all got a full night’s sleep except for Feli, who got a couple hours. I got five minutes before I gave up and asked to come in for the night. He let me in and I crashed. I woke up and you were up, _finally_.”

“Basically,” I agree softly.

There’s a couple minutes’ silence before Toni asks, “Where’s Joan?”

I shake my head. “Francis went home and she stayed the nights at his place. All of Cody’s threatened people are taken care of and safe. Gil, Lud, and Feli crashed in the waiting rooms. Lud and Feli went to school, only cause Gil forced them to.”

“Ha,” Toni laughs. “Same with you. Feli’s pretty stubborn when he wants to be. What time is it?”

“After school, since Feli’s here.” I check my watch. “Mmm, five thirty. Afternoon, yeah.”

Toni yawns. “Then why am I so tired?”

I grin. “Because doctor-knockout-formula. He used something to knock you out and fixed the damage—it did scratch up the bone a bit—and then replaced the blood. He said you’d be sleepy for a while.”

Toni grumbles under his breath and sits up, rubbing his eyes. He pulls me up with him, keeping me tucked close. “Of course he did.”

There’s a tense silence before Toni reaches a finger out, running it along my lips. Despite the absence of my usual fears, I still can’t help the tiny shiver that runs through me.

His head is tilted a little, and he seems more thoughtful than anything. I finally break the silence. “You’re terrifying when you’re angry. You just look so _cold_ and you’re usually all warm and fuzzy and cuddly.”

Toni laughs, a booming laugh that makes me smile just because of it. “I said the same about you when you’re angry. Just never piss me off and you’ll be fine. I doubt you can, but st—”

I reach out cautiously, running my fingers through his hair. He stops mid-word, startled. “What?”

I smile shyly. “I don’t know. The fear is gone. The distrust, the fears that hold me back. I’m starting to trust Gil, but I trust you. I do. I don’t know why, but I do. I’ve kinda always wanted to do that but something always held me back.”

Toni smiles, and for once the slightest blush touches his cheeks. “How?”

“I don’t know. I suppose it started falling away cause you saved my life and then from Grandpa and you also helped save Feli. But then I started falling in love, which probably made it easier to trust. I have no idea how to trust people. But you’re just...different like that. It took a lot less coming from you.”

Toni chuckles, brushing hair out of my eyes. “The sincerity in everything I do? I’ve been told that before by others coming from similarly...difficult backgrounds.”

“Maybe,” I agree, reaching out to slide our fingers together. “I think part of it was how quickly you jump to my defense. Someone says something rude and you’re just like ‘ _no, that’s not how it is._ ’ It’s...kinda cute, to be honest.”

Toni blushes scarlet and grins. “I’m kinda like that, yeah.”

I shrug casually. “I like it.”

He ducks his head, laughing under his breath. “It’s instinctual. I don’t even know I’m doing it.”

His fingers close on mine, and he peeks at me. “You kinda hover around me. You have for a while now. Especially when someone you don’t really trust is nearby.”

I shrug. “Because I trust you more. You’re like a fucking magnet, it takes me a while to even realize I’m doing it again.”

Toni grins, reaching out to ruffle my hair. “You’re adorable.”

Toni leans forward until our foreheads are touching, releasing my hand to instead slide his arm warmly around me. “I love you,” he says softly, and I can feel his breath mingling with mine.

I slide my arms around him, closing my eyes and pushing aside the fears that arise. “I love you, too.”

For a couple minutes, we stay like that. My fears slide away, and the little tension that had risen eases.

Toni’s lips brush mine, the softest touch. Enough to have to push fear away again, but gentle enough to not scare me the same way everyone else has.

I release a slow breath, reminding myself that Toni’s had the patience to wait three years—and almost another—before even hugging me. He won’t force anything.

I peek at Toni. He’s perfectly still, eyes closed, seemingly content to just sit there.

I take a deep, silent breath and pull him closer until our lips touch again, soft but still there. Toni lets me set the pace, but still takes the lead.

After a couple minutes, I pull away and Toni just smiles at me, a warm glow in his eyes.

I smile back nervously, my fears finally falling away for good—at least for Toni. My walls crumble and for once that doesn’t make me feel vulnerable.

Toni brushes his thumb once over my cheek, fondness shining in his eyes. “What was that?”

A grin spreads across my face. “Breaking the last wall?”

Toni tilts his head and I explain softly, “The fear’s gone. Completely.”

Toni grins. “I take it that’s a good thing?”

I laugh under my breath. “Put it this way. First time in years I’ve willingly kissed someone.”

Toni slides his other arm around me, a smile playing on his lips. “You’re saying you trust me?”

I nod. “Hundred percent. Which is pretty hard, all things considered.”

Toni grins, a light shining in his eyes. “Cool.”


	29. A Hundred Percent (Toni's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short but shows us Toni's reaction to Lovi trusting him at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short. Toni's POV.

Lovi hesitates before pulling me into a soft kiss. I respond in kind, but let him set the pace. I don’t want to scare him. Not when we’re so close.

After a few minutes’ silence, Lovi pulls away, a faint blush tingeing his cheeks.

A smile spreads across my face. Lovi smiles back, his hard and cold stare softening for once.

 I reach out to brush a thumb over his cheek, covering my own surprise. “What was that?”

Lovi full-on grins this time. “Breaking the last wall?”

I raise an eyebrow and he explains, “The fear’s gone. Completely.”

I grin instantly. “I take it that’s a good thing?”

He laughs quietly. “Put it this way. First time in years I’ve willingly kissed someone.”

I slide my free arm around him, a smile lifting my lips. “You saying you trust me?”

“A hundred percent,” Lovi says with a nod. “Which is pretty hard, all things considered.”

A smile spreads across my face. _Finally. That took, what, three and a half years to get him to trust me? We did it._ “Cool.”

Lovi smiles back, most of his usual nerves and shyness gone. “I love you,” he says softly.

I grin at that. “I love you, too, Lovi.”

Lovi pulls me back into a kiss, this one longer and a little more confident.


	30. Gil, Lud, and Feli (Toni's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gil embarrassing Lovi. Cute fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toni's POV. Lovi being embarrassed and cute.

Lovi slides our fingers together, eyes half-closed. “I’m still tired.”

I grin. “Get some sleep. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon anyway.”

“Any _where_ , any _time_ , any _way_ ,” Lovi laughs under his breath. “All three in one sentence.”

I chuckle lightly. “It’s grammatically correct.”

“Of course it is,” he agrees. “Just sounds strange to say it aloud.”

Gil slides in, and Lovi looks up instantly. Gil smiles shyly, moving over. “Hey. You’ve been out a while, man. Pretty unnerving. You kinda hold us together. Francis took off.”

“Lovi mentioned it,” I agree lightly. “You okay?”

Gil shrugs. “Eh, nothing I can’t handle. Lost a tooth. No other damage. Francis had to ice his shoulder cause his arm got dislocated. We’re alright. You’re the one who nearly died twice on us cause you bled out too much.”

I wince. Lovi stiffens a little. “Hey, I couldn’t do that to you guys. Especially not Lovi.”

Gil grins. “Good. Oh and Lovi, Feli says he’s hungry and I don’t know where any pasta is located. He specifically wants pasta. With Lud. But I don’t know where to go.”

Lovi hesitates. “Well, there’s a place we usually go to. Because it was owned by grandpa. I suppose Feli and I own it now. Here.”

He pulls out a key and tosses it over. “It’s just up the street from the school. Feli knows where it is, just follow his directions. He’s an amazing cook, he’ll probably make you something, too.”

Gil pockets the keys. “’Kay.”

Ludwig pokes his head in. “He’s getting rather impatient.”

Lovi shrugs. “He’s like that.”

Ludwig looks up and blinks. “Hey, welcome back.”

I grin in response. “Thanks.”

“You shoulda seen Lovi,” Gil says, eyes innocently wide. “He was crying too hard to sleep. Then he just disappeared into here.”

Lovi ducks his head, muttering, “Shut up.”

“I did no different,” I shrug casually. “When he was the one on the line.”

Gil shrugs. “Eh, it was pretty crazy. I’ve never seen him like that before.”

“ _Shut up,_ ” Lovi says, just a little louder.

 Feli shoves his way in and lights up with a smile. “Oh, ciao! It’s good to see you back.”

I chuckle. “Hey, Feli.”

Lovi keeps his head down, tightening his grip on my hand. “Feli, Gil has the keys to Grandpa’s.”

Feli turns towards Gil and starts bouncing. “Let’s go, then!”

Gil rolls his eyes and leads the way out. Feli pokes his head back in. “And Lovi, I never wanna see you crying like that again. It was a little scary.”

Lovi winces. Feli disappears down the hall.

Lovi shake his head. “I didn’t want to mention that.”

“What?”

Lovi glances at me. “You flat-lined. Twice. Once was long enough they declared you dead and then you started breathing again.”

I wince. “You did the same.”

Lovi shrugs. “I had a reason to pull through. Feli, if nothing else. It’s a lot different not knowing.”

I slide my arms around him, hugging him closely. “I know. I didn’t know if you would pull through, either. The doctor said you should’ve already been dead when you got there.”

I tug on the gauze on my feet. “How bad is it?”

Lovi shivers. “You scratched the bone. All the muscle and skin was gone.”

I grimace, sighing. “It didn’t even hurt all that bad.”

“Shock,” Lovi shrugs. “It doesn’t hurt immediately. I wasn’t in any immediate pain, just a little dizzy. You lost enough blood you were unconscious in minutes. Before Gil’s dad even got there.”

“Damn,” I mutter under my breath. That probably scared the hell out of him. I know it would’ve scared me, and he actually trusts me now.

“It’s healed most of the way,” he shrugs. “The muscle’s back tenfold. And most of the skin is back. It’s been a couple days, it started healing.”

“Still, gross,” I sigh lightly. “And probably far more painful if I’d felt it.”

“Oh, hell, yeah,”  Lovi agrees. “He said that you’re lucky you didn’t feel anything.”

There’s a pause and he mutters, “You’re lucky you passed out.”

I blink, frowning at him. “Why?”

He shivers. “Guess who broke free of the police?”

“Cody,” I suggest softly.

He nods. “It took three of them to pry him off, plus Gil and his dad both trying to pull me away.”

I shake my head. “At least he’s locked up.”

“For now. He broke his hands and wrists to slide them through the cuffs them popped them back into place at the trial. That’s how he jumped me in the first place. Otherwise the cuffs would’ve stopped him.”

I shiver a little at that. “Gross.”

Lovi nods. “And painful. But he’s too stubborn to care.”

Lovi turns to look at me again. “That happened yesterday. Less than twenty-four hours ago.”

I raise an eyebrow. “And you still trust me?”

“You haven’t given me reason not to,” he shrugs, not the slightest hint of worry in his voice.

The tiniest smile touches my lips. “I’m honored.”

Lovi blushes, grinning shyly. “It took you three and a half years to even hug me, and you still had the patience to wait. Then you went and saved my life and my brother’s.”

I grin broadly, landing a light kiss on his nose. “I can be patient.”

“I noticed,” he agrees, a half-smile lifting a corner of his mouth.

There’s a silence before I flop back down on my side, pulling him down next to me. He settles down, landing a quick kiss on my lips before closing his eyes.


	31. Cody's Second Trial (With Toni There)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trial begins. Lovi's stressed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovi's POV, of course. A bit of stress on Lovi's part. Lots of other languages! (Italian, Spanish, German)

Toni flops down, pulling me down next to him. The judge smiles at him. “Ah, you must be the famous Antonio we’ve heard so much about. Good to meet you.”

Toni grins at him. “The pleasure is mine, sir.”

The judge inclines his head and turns away.

I lace my fingers tightly with Toni’s, stiffening as they drag Cody in and chain him down again.

Cody smirks at me. Toni glares back, letting me avert my eyes.

The judge calls attention. “Alright, we are here for the trial of Cody Johnson.”

Silence falls. Everyone Cody has ever threatened sit down the rows next to us and behind us—Francis, Theo, all the people who got threats. Cody sits with his parents, lawyer, and one trembling young friend.

The judge straightens. “Defense first.”

The kid stands. “My f-friend Cody has saved my little sister’s life before. There’s no way he would threaten a bunch of kids and group-rape another.”

He sits down. The parents stand. “Cody is a straight-A student with tons of friends. There is no way he could’ve done what he’s being accused of.”

One of his teachers stands. “Objection! Cody is a straight-C student and barely passing his classes. All his so-called friends are terrified of him.” With that, she sits.

The parents sit down, seething. The lawyer stands. “Cody is a sweet kid, according to all his friends. He would never threaten anyone, nor scare them. He’s a good kid.” And with that, he sits.

Cody stands, faking tears. “I didn’t realize I was scaring anyone, if I did. I love my friends. They’re all so talented and beautiful and I’m sorry if I scared anyone.”

He sits down. The judge seems unimpressed. “Prosecution?”

The kids he threaten rise as one. Francis speaks up first. “Cody threatened to rape my girl, Joan, if I didn’t do exactly as he said. Once he made me participate in group-raping my best friends’ boyfriend. He threatened her again recently because he wanted to do the same to his crush, Sarah Starret.”

Francis sits. Theo speaks up. “C-Cody threatened to rape my little sister, Anna. She was _three_ , so of course I did as he asked. He threatened her again recently—she’s five now—and when the last kid he targeted had a friend asking about it, I told him everything and we told the principal about it. He’s sick and t-twisted, and he doesn’t really care about anyone other than himself.”

With that, he sits. One by one, the five kids he’s threatened over the years speak and sit. Finally Feli stands, pulling Ludwig up with him. “Cody hurt my big brother. And he threatened the people his supposed friends cared the most about. He’s the reason my brother doesn’t trust people anymore.”

He sits down, stiff and head bent to hide tears. Gil gets up. “Just a couple of days ago, Lovi texted our mutual friend Antonio and said Cody was there again, asked us for help. We came running as fast as we could. When Toni got there, Cody was full-on _kissing_ Lovi. He pulled him off and kept him distracted with words for a while. Then we got there—that is, Francis, Joan and I—and he made a move. He both punched and tripped me, which knocked out a tooth and hurt my shins pretty bad, dislocated Francis’ shoulder, kissed Joan, and tripped Toni. Toni was unconscious in the hospital until a few hours ago, and nearly died twice. My father was the doctor, he has all the hospital records to prove it. He flat-lined twice. Then he went and kissed Lovi _again_. Lovi pushed him off and the cops dragged him towards their cars while my dad got Francis, Joan, and Toni in the back of the ambulance. Of course Cody broke free again and kissed Lovi yet _again_. It took my dad and I both pulling Lovi and three police officers to pull them apart. The officers cuffed him and got him in the police car and Lovi, Dad and I got in the ambulance and went to the hospital.”

He flops down. The officers get up. “We got a call from Doctor Beilshmidt and Officer Carriedo because their sons were on the line. Officer Carriedo’s son being Antonio and Doctor Beilshmidt’s son Gilbert.”

Toni and Gil nod. The officers continue, “When we got there, most of the kids were on the ground. One was shoved up against a tree with Cody kissing him—Lovino Vargas. Antonio was on the ground with blood pouring off his ankles. Gilbert was on the ground with one hand on his mouth and the other on his legs. Their friend Francis was on the ground cradling his arm and a beautiful young lady was next to him both wiping at her mouth and worrying over Francis. Lovino pushed Cody off and we took him to the cars. But he broke free and went to kiss the poor kid again. It took two—Gilbert and the doctor—on Lovino and three of us to break his hold and get him off, then we cuffed him and took him to the station.”

They sit. Toni gets up, limping just a little. “Um, hi, I’m Antonio. I’m Lovino’s best friend. So, I’m gonna start with the first story, which Lovi told me about. The kids Cody threatened—and, of course, Cody—group-raped Lovi during his sophomore year. Most of the threatened were freshmen. Lovi’s had it pretty rough—a kid raped him in sixth, a kid played him in eighth, and then he got group-raped to top it off. He has a hard time trusting because of that, understandably. After the incident in sixth, he began cutting. He was depressed, he was tired of being told he wasn’t enough. His grandmother shot herself in the head and his dad had fallen from the top of a bridge—on purpose, of course—and he would’ve just killed himself if not for his little brother, Feliciano. Feli kept him going, gave him a reason not to just _die_. In eighth, he cut some more. Then in sophomore year, it got even worse.”

I take a deep breath, pulling my jacket off. Toni glances at me, gesturing to the cuts. “Much worse. Cody never stopped, though. He found Lovi at school, in the park, on the way home. He never left him alone for long. Lovi couldn’t get him to stop. Then, just a couple days ago, he asked to walk home. Alone. There were already four of us in the car: Gil and his little brother Ludwig, Lovi’s little brother Feli and I. So he stubbornly insisted on walking. I got a text about half an hour later saying ‘ _He’s here again, Greenwood Park. Not sure how fast you can run, but you know what he does._ ’ I got Francis and Gil and we headed that way as fast as we could go. Cody’s not the type of kid you want to wait with. I got there first, and he was kissing Lovi. Tongue and everything, kinda gross. I went and grabbed Lovi, pulled him free. He started coughing and choking, wiping at his mouth. I apologize for the language—not my words—but Cody called me a ‘ _fuckboy_ ’, whatever that’s supposed to be. So I started chatting with him to give my dad and the cops time to get there—my dad being Officer Carriedo, of course. Francis and Gil got there, Joan having joined them. Joan is Francis’ girlfriend and she’s also one of the ones Cody’s threatened. After a couple minutes talking, Cody jumps at Gil and suddenly he’s on the ground. Then he yanks hard on Francis’ arm, knocking him to the ground—he had an arm shielding Joan—and kisses Joan. Then he goes and trips me, and my feet were all tingly and numb. And he kisses Lovi again. The cops finally get there, pulling him off and dragging him away. Lovi texts Gil’s dad to come and get us after stubbornly refusing to let us walk back to the car. He gets there and everything just goes black. I woke up in the hospital with a ton of gauze on my ankles. I heard I nearly died twice.”

He nudges me. I get up slowly, taking his hand in mine. “Like Toni said, in sophomore year Cody set me up to get group-raped by mass-threatening people. Five of them. Then just a couple days ago, I decided to walk home. I ended up in Greenwood Park. I go there often, it was no big deal. But then I heard him say, ‘Enjoying yourself?’ and I turned and Cody was back again. I fired off a text to Toni and pocketed my phone. Then Cody said he’d rape _Toni_ if I didn’t tell him how to talk to his crush, Sarah Starret. I’m not really much of a talker, but I know you should probably find something in common and definitely not threaten a bunch of people, so I told him that. Then he just _kisses_ me, tongue and everything and it was really gross. I tried a couple times to pull away. Then Toni has an arm around me and pulls me away. I coughed a bit and wiped my mouth off, then Gil, Francis, and Joan showed up, too. Cody talked with Toni for a while then he started looking between Gil, Francis, Francis’ guarding arm in front of Joan, and Joan. Before I got a chance to say something about it, he moved and Gil hit the ground, then Francis hit the ground and he kissed Joan. Then he pulled Toni off of me and knocked him down and pinned me against a tree and kissed me _again_. Then the cops pulled him away. I went over to check on Toni and he said he was fine and laughed it off. I checked on Gil and he coughed up a tooth then said his shins hurt a bit but he was alright. Francis’ arm was dislocated and I got it back in place, then asked Joan if she was alright. She said she was fine. I went back over to Toni and Toni suggested walking back to Gil’s house before calling Gil’s dad. I told him no—not only was he bleeding really heavily, but I highly doubt he could’ve walked on that—and texted Gil’s dad. I got his number because he saved my brother Feli’s life and then my life, plus he fixed the damage my grandpa inflicted, too. He came to get us. Toni passed out and he got him in the ambulance. Gil got Francis and Joan in the back, too. Then Cody broke free and kissed me yet again. Gil and his dad pulled me away and three cops pulled him away and cuffed him, then he was gone. I got in the back with Toni and Gil and his dad got in the front, then we went to the hospital.”

We sit down. The jury starts whispering amongst themselves.

Just like he did last time, Cody breaks his hands and slips free of the cuffs, jumping at me and pulling me to the floor. He slams our mouths together, his tongue dancing around mine, and his grip on me too tight to break.

I struggle against him, instinctively reaching out for Toni. Toni grabs my hand, sliding down next to me and shoving Cody off. Then he scoops me up and moves a step back.

The cops cuff Cody’s feet together then re-cuff his hands, shoving him back down.

I curl into Toni, shaking slightly. _Breathe. Breathe. Come on. Toni’s right here, breathe._

Toni sits down, holding me in his lap and whispering soothing nothings in my ear. Just him being there is enough to calm me down, and slowly the shaking fades away.

The judge looks extremely impressed with this. It took me forty minutes of shaking too much to say anything before they called it off last time, and I was still shaking for about an hour afterwards. This time, it only took three minutes.

The judge raises an eyebrow at Toni. “He was shaking for an hour last time.”

Toni grins. “Yeah, well...”

Gil shrugs. “I told you Toni could handle it. He’s just like that, he knows how to calm everyone down. It’s impossible to not be calm and happy around him.”

Toni blushes at that, laughing shyly. “Well, I’ve dealt with a lot of people around me having panic attacks so I had to learn how to calm them down. It’s...experience. It doesn’t take all that long anymore.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Gil agrees. “Three minutes flat, Toni. _Three minutes._ ”

Toni blushes scarlet, ducking his head. “What can I say? I know what I’m doing.”

I swallow, closing my eyes and releasing a slow breath. No one is even mentioning that I’m sitting in his lap, still held in his embrace. _That’s good._

My tension eases and I lean a little into him, sliding an arm around him to balance myself a little. No one says anything, but I can see Francis looks a bit surprised. We keep calling one another ‘best friend’ and knowing how hard it is for me to trust, he’s the one wondering how the hell we became a thing.

The jury finally stops talking and one person comes down from either side, whispering in the judge’s ear, then head back up into the balconies. From the sympathetic looks I get, I can guess their decision.

“It’s unanimous,” the judge announces. “Charges for assault, threats of aggravated sexual assault, aggravated first degree sexual assault, and resisting arrest, and also charges specifically for putting Antonio in the hospital and sexually assaulting Lovino during the trial, twice. That altogether adds up to sixty-four years in prison and a ten thousand dollar fine. Take him out.”

The police drag him out, his parents following and his defendants running after him. But the so-called friend stays put, his trembling slowing and his eyes closing in relief.

The judge notices his reaction, rising to his feet. “Collin, do you have something to say?”

“H-he threatened to rape my little sister, she’s six,” he mutters.

Toni relates that louder. The judge sighs. “Well, he won’t be coming out any time soon, so she’s safe.”

He nods nervously and gets up to leave.

Everyone starts leaving with that, except Toni, Gil and I. Francis pauses long enough to say, “You’re more than friends. Even best friends aren’t _that_ close.”, then he’s gone.

Gil rolls his eyes. “So what?”

Toni grins. “He’s judgy sometimes without thinking about it. What matters is our reaction.”

There’s a pause before he turns back to me. “You made it.”

I strain a smile at him. “Sort of. He did it again.”

Toni shrugs. “I got you.”

“I know,” I agree. “And that’s the only reason I made it through.”

Toni tightens his grip. The jury finally begins to stir, making their way down from the balconies.

Gil finally gets up, slowly. “I’m just glad it’s over.”

“Same,” I murmur softly, releasing a slow breath.

Gil slides away, leaving us alone.

“Is that what he did last time?” Toni asks softly.

I nod, knowing he’s asking about Cody. “Yeah. But I was caught off guard last time.”

Toni nods, content to just wait a while. At least until my legs stop shaking and I can walk on my own.

The jury starts to flood our way, showering us in compliments like “Oh you’re so cute” and telling me just how sorry they are for what happened before drifting away. Then two young ladies come our way, one with a doctor’s badge and the other a teacher’s book under hand.

The doctor reaches out and drops a hand on my shoulder. “I’ve worked with young children for years, young teens. I have two of my own. To see such cruelty among children...I am so sorry.”

I shoot a smile her way. “I’m just glad it’s over.”

“That’s the spirit, honey,” she praises, before following everyone else.

The teacher wanders over, still looking a little dazed. Then she says in this hushed voice—the kind of voice you’d use next to someone on their deathbed—that “I teach high schoolers. I teach history. I had no idea that high schoolers could be so cruel to one of their own. I’m so sorry, honey.”

I look her up and down. I recognize her from junior year. “Junior U.S. History?”

She nods. I strain a smile. “I had your class.”

She smiles, just a little. “I have a hundred and fifty students a year, I wouldn’t remember.”

“It’s been two years,” I shrug. “But I remember. Everyone hated me for knowing all the answers. I just did the work and read the book, which any of them could’ve done.”

She chuckles. “Well, yes, but that requires _reading_ , which most of them either hate or think they’re incapable of, even if they can do it.”

I shrug. “I can’t change that. But I’m good at it. It’s kinda like Cody. I can’t change his actions, only my reaction. And I’m working on that.”

“Honey,” she sighs, ruffling my hair. “You’re, what, eighteen? You’re already wise beyond your years.”

“Nineteen,” I correct softly. “Since a couple weeks ago.”

Toni moves a little at that. The teacher smiles at him. “You’re so kind. Never lose that.”

Toni blushes and grins. “Of course, ma’am.”

“And polite,” she says with a smile. “You two are the epitome of perfect friends; you’re there for him when he needs you and know exactly how to calm him when he needs it. And you support each other. You worry over one another. More people should be like you.”

We grin at one another and then smile at her. She smiles back and then wanders her way out.

The judge at last comes down, pausing at my side. “I apologize for Cody jumping at you. It seems he’s difficult to contain.”

I shrug casually. “It’s not your fault, it’s his.”

He shrugs back. “Well, as a father of three, it saddens me to see such villainy and cruelty among teens. You shouldn’t’ve had to deal with that. Also, who’s this kid who came after you in sixth?”

I smile shyly. “Adrian Hoffmann.” (Adrian means ‘dark’, Hoffmann means ‘steward’)

He nods, writing that down. “We might have to gather to give him his ten years.”

I duck my head, noting Toni’s slightly stiff posture. “Not immediately, sir?”

The judge smiles. “Of course not, Toni. We have to find him first, and then we have to use at least two weeks to gather another jury. You’ll have recovery time, both of you.”

Toni nods stiffly. “Of course.”

The judge seems to sense the hostility and pats my shoulder before leaving.

We’re left in an empty court room. Toni finally rises, holding me to his chest—close to his heart—and making his way out.

The doors echo closed behind us and Toni’s tension eases. “Adrian.”

I nod. “Yeah, why?”

“Isn’t that the same kid who hurt Feli?”

I nod again. “Si. Quello è lui.” ( _Yes. That’s him._ )

Toni smiles just a little. “Your voice is deeper when you speak Italian.”

I grin, curling into him. “Not on purpose.”

He shrugs. “It’s probably similar when I speak Spanish. _Español es mucho más fácil._ ” ( _Spanish is much easier._ )

I laugh at that, noting that I barely understand what he’s saying. “You’re more lilting in Spanish. Sing-songy. It’s cute.”

He chuckles. “Hey, that’s something I picked up from Mom.”

There’s a pause. His mother’s never come up in conversations before. His smile falters for just a moment then it’s back again, albeit more strained. “Mom,” he says softly, as if the word is strange on his tongue.

I raise an eyebrow. “You’ve never mentioned her before.”

“That’s because she’s still in Spain,” he murmurs softly, more muted than usual. “She got me over, but my baby brother and her didn’t have the money or resources to gather any more. Naturalization, passport, plane tickets, a Visa to work here, social security, it all costs money. Money she doesn’t have.”

I hesitate, considering the money I inherited once Grandpa landed himself in jail. _A mill. I could pay it._ “How much does it cost?”

He hesitates again. “Erm...two thousand four hundred sixty-five dollars.”

I nod slightly. “Well then.”

He smiles shyly. “Why?”

I shake my head. “It might come up again later, don’t worry about it.”

Toni raises an eyebrow. “What, you have that much?”

I grin at him, raising an eyebrow in amusement. “Possibly.”

His eyes widen in surprise. “How?”

“Grandpa ran a fancy Italian restaurant, I got all his money,” I shrug. “Besides, you did save my life and my brother’s. I have to pay you back somehow.”

Toni blushes and grins. “You shouldn’t. It’s your money.”

“And you’re _my_ boyfriend,” I counter lightly, ruffling his hair. “It’s my money, sure, but there’s a ton of it...like, far too much. I’m nineteen, I don’t need that much.”

“But for food,” he protests.

I shake my head. “Put it this way. Just my inheritance from Italy is a mill. Let alone what Grandpa made. I’m fine. I don’t need that much, it’s a little frightening to have that much at my age to be honest.”

His eyes widen and his mouth hangs open. “ _A million dollars?_ ”

“Shhh,” I hush him. “I haven’t told anyone yet. Not even Feli. I don’t even know what to do with it.”

“Buy a house,” he suggests in an awed voice. “Buy a fucking fancy house. You deserve it.”

I shrug. “There’s no point in spending _that_ much on one house. I might get one, but only half of it would be gone with that. I’d still have a hell of a lot left. It’s gotta go somewhere.”

Toni shakes his head. “Gil and Francis’ moms both got left behind, too. And Francis’ two little brothers, Alfred F. Jones and Matthew Williams. Germany and France, of course.”

I shrug. “I’ve got more than enough to pay for all of it if I choose to.”

He shakes his head, setting me down in the car. “That’s...damn.”

I grin, watching him flop down in the driver’s side. “I know.”

Feli and Lud look up from the back seat. “What is, fratello?”

I shake my head. “You don’t need to know yet. I’m still not sure what to do with it.”

Toni grins, buckling himself in and shutting the door. “God damn, Lovi.”

I shake my head at him. “Hush.”

He pulls out, shooting off for the hospital. “Still!”

I grin at him. “You’re gonna make them start asking. Shut up.”

He shakes his head, eyes still wide with surprise. “Maldita eso es un infierno de un montón de dinero.” ( _God damn that’s a lot of money._ )

I chuckle a little. “I can still understand what you’re saying.”

He grins. “I know, but they can’t.”

“Feli sabe italiana lo suficientemente bien como yo no puede hablar, pero no sé mucho español tampoco.” ( _Feli knows Italian well enough I can’t speak it, but I don’t know much Spanish either._ )

“Much?” Toni laughs. “Damn, since when do you speak _español_?”

I shrug casually. “I can learn.”

“Since when?”

“Since I met you,” I shrug, keeping my eyes down. “I heard you say something in Spanish and I wanted to know what it was. So I started learning. Also I took it as a class for the foreign language credit, since I know Italian, English, and German from Italian school.”

“You know German?” Ludwig asks, looking up.

“Ja,” I say with a half-smile. “Es war ein Schulfach.” ( _Yes. It was a school subject._ )

He grins at that. “Hat Feli zu lernen?” ( _Did Feli learn, too?_ )

I nod. “Ja, ein bisschen. Er kam zu dem im letzten Jahr. Aber er kümmerte sich nicht zu viel darüber nach, so dass ich weiß nicht, wie viel er sich erinnert.” ( _Yes, a little. He got to the last year. But he didn’t care too much about it, so I don’t know how much he remembers._ )

Feli glances between us, frowning. “German?”

I grin. “Yeah. He wants to know how much you remember.”

“Oh!” Feli blinks. “I remember most of it. I remember _ja_ for sure, but until someone starts speaking it I don’t tend to think about it.”

“I know some basic French, too,” I shrug. “Enough to hold a conversation. Just...I don’t use it all that much, so I don’t know how much I remember.”

Toni pulls into the parking lot and parks the car, but doesn’t get out. “Hey, Lovi. ¿Recuerdas cómo decir ‘same’ en español?” ( _Do you remember how to say ‘same’ in Spanish?_ )

I nod. “Si. Es lo mismo.” ( _It’s the same._ )

He chuckles. “Si. It sounds a little different in your accent. I like it.”

I grin, unbuckling my seat belt. Toni does the same, and slowly everyone gets out of the car.


	32. School With Gil (Lovi's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovi feels bad for abandoning Gil and Feli to the waiting room so he decides to go to school (alone) with Gil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovi's POV. Lovi being a little nervous the whole school day.

Toni kisses me gently for a minute before letting go. “Go ahead. But seriously, don’t hesitate to call.”

I nod, reluctantly letting go of his hand and sliding out of the room.

Gil seemed pretty upset that I ended up crashing with Toni, so I’m gonna spend a day at school with just him to try and make up for it. We’re...sort of friends now, I suppose, but I don’t trust him yet.

I slide out into the waiting room, nudging Gil awake. “Oi. Gil.”

He wakes with a start, eyes still clouded with sleep. “Huh?”

I strain a smile. “Toni doesn’t want you to miss school again. Come on.”

He rubs his eyes and sits up. “What?”

I pull him to his feet, ignoring the shock of fear that goes through me the second I touch him. “School. Toni doesn’t want you to miss it. Come on.”

“You coming?” he asks, startled.

I nod nervously. “Si. Not that I like it all that much. I got out quickly for a reason. I never had any friends, high school’s pretty lonely when no one wants to talk to you.”

Gil rubs his eyes and shakes himself awake, heading for the car. Lud and Feli already left just a couple minutes ago. “Well, I suppose it can be, yeah. But you’re, like, super smart.”

I shrug. “That’s part of it, actually. People hated me because the teachers liked me and I’m smart, so I always had the answer whether or not I was paying a hundred percent attention.”

Gil chuckles. “Well, they’re just jealous. They could’ve asked for help if they needed it.”

I smile a little at that. “Yeah, they could’ve.”

“By the by,” he says sleepily, “Just so you know, man, if Toni ever hurts you just tell me. I’ll make him regret it. Physically or verbally or whatever, just tell me. I promise I won’t hit him—I doubt I could anyway—but I have a way with words.”

I can’t help but grin at that. “Um, okay.”

He grins, tossing me the keys. “I’m tired, how ‘bout you drive?”

I catch them on instinct, surprised. “It’s your car.”

“You’re actually awake,” he laughs. “I’d probably crash.”

I shrug, sitting down and adjusting the seat until I can see properly where I need to and still reach the pedals. Gil flops down, his backpack still laying on the back seat. “It’s too early for school.”

I roll my eyes. “School normally starts in five minutes. I let you sleep in, suck it up.”

He laughs. “You’re so cool.”

Heat prickles my cheeks and I pull out carefully, not necessarily going slow but not going over the speed limit either. I’m not a reckless driver, especially at seven forty in the morning.

I pull into the school parking lot no problem, parking close to the doors and cutting the engine. Part of coming with him is to make sure he actually does some work to catch up, knowing that his teachers aren’t the nicer ones.

He gets out and slings his back over his shoulder. I toss him back the keys and he catches them just before they hit the ground, sliding them in his pocket. “I got used to sleeping in,” he laughs.

I roll my eyes. “Come on.”

I drag him up towards class. Luckily his class is near the parking lot and it only takes a minute to get there, and we slide in and sit just before the bell rings.


	33. School and Poison (Lovi's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get through to second or third period-ish. Then Lovi insists on going back to the hospital. He also tells Gil some stuff about his past (birthday mainly) and Gil decides Toni must know.

The teacher appears from behind his desk. “Ah, welcome back Gilbert. You’ve missed the end of an assignment, here.”

Gil accepts the assignment without complaint, too tired to say anything. The teacher smiles at me. “And welcome back, Lovino. It’s good to see you again. If I may ask, how’s Antonio?”

“He’s conscious,” I shrug casually. “But still in the hospital. He’s just too stubborn to let Gil stick around when there’s school to get done.”

“Ah, I like that lad,” the teacher laughs. “He’s so responsible.”

“My dad excused me,” Gil protests. “I wasn’t skipping. My friend was unconscious and dying in the hospital, I had good reason not to go to school. I wouldn’t’ve been able to focus if I did come.”

The teacher laughs again, heading back to the front. “Well, I do expect you to catch up on what you missed, Gilbert. It’s not a free pass to not learn anything.”

Gil rolls his eyes and sighs, his eyes falling to the assignment. “I’m terrible at math, especially early in the morning,” he mutters, pulling his pencil out of his bag.

“Treat it like a game,” I suggest. “It’s just another strategy game. You’re good at those. Don’t look at it like it’s gonna be hard and you can’t do it, look at it like an obstacle to be overcome. It’s _just_ math, it’s easy. Keep telling yourself that and it won’t be a problem.”

He hesitates and starts writing. He finishes in five minutes flat, handing it to the teacher wearily. The teacher looks impressed. “How are you done so fast? You didn’t cheat, did you?”

I shake my head for him. “Just a little change of thought. Told him to look at it differently, like it’s just a strategy game—something he’s good at. I graduated last year, I already did this stuff before. It’s easy enough if you stop telling yourself you can’t.”

“Does everyone hear that?” the teacher asks. Everyone looks up. “Could you repeat that?”

I smile shyly. “Everyone says math is hard, especially early in the morning or late in the afternoon when you’re tired. But if you stop treating it like it’s an impossible matrix, and instead look at it like something you’re good at—like a strategy game or an app on your phone—then you get it done faster. Don’t look at it like it’s too hard and you can’t do it, look at it like it’s an obstacle to overcome. It’s _just_ math, it’s easy. Keep telling yourself that and it won’t be a problem. It’s all about how you look at it. It’s simple enough if you stop saying ‘I can’t’ and start thinking ‘how _can_ I do this?’.”

Everyone seems slightly awed by that, and the teacher is able to finish the assignment and another two after that in the allotted fifty-five minutes. Everyone is working harder and no one seems so confused anymore. Even Gil is paying full attention, and doesn’t fall behind.

The bell finally rings and the teacher waves me up. “How did you do that? They all just...got working like it was nothing. This is the worst class of the day!”

I grin. “It’s all about how you look at it. They say they can’t do it, then tell them just how they can. I’ve heard a lot of people talk about how hard math is, then there are the kids who take A.P. Calculus and pass it with flying colors like it’s nothing. If you think you can’t, you stop trying.”

She writes that on the board as a quote of the week, accrediting it to me. “That’s so brilliant.”

I laugh lightly. “It’s just experience. I thought it was hard in eighth, until I decided it was all a game and got it done twice as fast.”

She shakes her head. “Wisdom, plain and simple.”

Gil appears at my side. “That actually worked. Brilliant, man.”

I duck my head, grinning. Gil’s eyes land on the words on the board. “ _It all depends on how you look at it. A lot of people talk about how hard math is, then there are kids who take AP Calculus and pass it with flying colors like it’s nothing. Look at it like a game; it’s just math, it’s easy. It’s one of those strategy games or an app on your phone. You get it done faster because you stop saying ‘I can’t’ and start thinking ‘how can I do this?’. If you think you can’t, you stop trying. ~Lovino Vargas_”

Gil grins. “You’re famous.”

I laugh quietly. “Not yet. But I probably will be by the end of the day.”

Gil ruffles my hair, leading the way out. “Dude, she loves you.”

“Teacher’s pet,” I shrug. “Always have been. It’s part of why everyone hated me. I could make the worst teachers love me and they had no idea how to do it.”

Gil laughs. “‘Worst teachers’ sounds strange coming from you.”

“There were teachers that made even me frustrated,” I allow. “I just got on their good side and they were nicer to me. It got to the point that the one time I forgot to do my homework I still got it counted as a hundred percent because she knew I genuinely forgot. Everyone else who did that got an F. They all hated me for it. Not my fault I’m good at making teachers like me.”

I pause. “Speaking of which. Mrs. Hamilton was in the jury. Junior U.S. History teacher.”

He chuckles. “That’s cool. I had her last year.”

“Senior?” I ask inquiringly, figuring that maybe if I know him better it’ll be easier to trust him.

He nods. “Francis is a junior, then Toni and I are seniors. Francis got held back sophomore year, he should be a senior.”

“Toni’s older than me, though,” I muse, a tiny smile on my lips.

“Only by a little. He’s nineteen since this past February,” he shrugs. “It’s only March. One month.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You caught that?”

“What, that you turned nineteen a couple weeks ago? Yep. How’d you celebrate?”

I roll my eyes. “I didn’t. Grandpa made me dinner at the restaurant for free, but he does that all the time so it’s nothing new. I haven't celebrated my birthday since I was nine, when we came here from Italy. I celebrated with my family just a couple days before we left.”

“Dude,” he says seriously. “We have to fix that.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Feli celebrates, but that’s because he has friends to do it with, and he asks to do it each year no matter how old he is. I’ve never had friends nor have I asked. It passes completely unnoticed. Even Feli doesn’t realize I’m nineteen already. It takes him a few months to register that I’m another year older every time.”

Gil shakes his head. “Seriously, we’re fixing that. Toni and I are your friends now, and we’re gonna fix it. You shouldn’t go year after year unnoticed.”

“You don’t even know my birthday,” I laugh lightly.

He shrugs. “I’m sure I can find out. I know Toni was born February twelfth. And I know you were born a couple weeks before all this shit went down, so sometime in the beginning of March. First two weeks of March.”

I roll my eyes. “March seventeenth.”

He grins. “Isn’t that the same as Feli?”

“Part of why I don’t celebrate,” I shrug. “A lot of shit went down that day. I gained a little brother and lost a mother while growing one year older all at the same time.”

“Damn,” he says softly, flopping down in the skill center. “Well, we can make some better memories.”

“Happened when I was two,” I shrug casually. “I lost Dad when I was seven and Grandma when I was nine, just two days before we came here. Both on my birthday, too. Feli was the only one who got sympathy for it having happened on his birthday, because not even my family ever really remembered we were born the same day.”

“Jeeze,” he sympathizes. “You’ve got the worst luck. Then your Grandpa, too.”

“Well, that was just a few days _after_ my birthday,” I shrug. “Not on. But same effect. I got forgotten in the mess and Feli had a little celebration over his seventeenth.”

I pause. “That’s never really come up before.”

“What, you birthday getting forgotten?”

I nod. “You’re actually the first person I’ve mentioned it to.”

Gil grins. “I know something Toni doesn’t?”

I shrug. “I suppose you do, yeah.”

He chuckles. “That’s a first.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Partially because I don’t really trust you yet. You coming when I called Toni helped, but I still trust Toni more. I don’t know why, but it’s impossible not to trust him.”

“He’s super patient,” Gil suggests. “I’m not that patient, usually. He waited three and a half years to tell you he loved you, and that’s longer than I could ever wait.”

“Yeah, well, it took that long for him to get close enough for me to trust him, even a little,” I shrug. “He helped save Feli’s life. Then he saved mine, twice. He protected me from Grandpa. I’ve actually started to trust him over the past week-ish while he’s been actively working for it.”

“Hey, I was with Toni when we went to teach the kid who hurt Feli a lesson,” he shrugs. “Plus when Cody came after you again.”

I nod slightly. “I know. That’s the only reason I trust you at all. Especially enough to spend a day with you, without Toni whatsoever. Just being without him is unnerving enough since he’s just _always_ there. Let alone hanging around someone I’m still learning to trust.”

“Yeah,” Gil agrees softly. “He is always around, isn’t he? You don’t really think about it until he’s not here. He’s just always around, lightening the mood and easing all the tension that arises.”

I laugh at that. “Yeah, he’s like that. It’s one of the reasons I like him. It’s nigh on impossible to stay tense when he’s around. No one bugs me anymore, not with him at my side. They’re either afraid of him or like him too much.”

“That’s why it was so scary when we almost lost him,” Gil agrees, sighing. “I don’t even wanna think about losing him. He’s the one who keeps the B.T.T. together when Francis and I get in fights. He’s the one who talks Francis down when he’s either scared or angry. Same with me, I guess. He’s just always around. You can depend on him, he never really gives up on his friends even when the odds seem impossible. Y’know, the odds are never in your favor, but he says ‘nah I can do it’ and fixes it.”

I chuckle a little at that. “Yeah, you can depend on him. He never gives up, he’s too stubborn.”

“You wanna drop by and check on him?” Gil asks softly. “I have history third and I already know what we’re doing. And I don’t have second.”

“Sure,” I agree, letting him lead the way out.

After a silence, he says, “I’m kinda nervous we’re gonna lose him while we’re not around. Like, we’re at school and he’s just...gone, just like that. No more Toni. That’s what scares me. I don’t wanna go to school because I don’t want that to happen.”

I wince. “He better not die on us. Not now. We need him.”

“You need him more than me,” Gil sighs, flopping down in his car.

I sit down softly, closing the door quietly. “What do you mean?”

Gil grins. “Well, for one, you’re in love with each other and it’s obvious. Two, you’ve got a court case against that sixth grader to get through. Three, you trust him. And he’s teaching you how to trust again, bit by bit. He’s the reason you can start trusting all of us.”

I sigh, closing my eyes. “Yeah, I guess he is. All of my relationships have gone to shit over my lifetime, I don’t want this one to do the same.”

“Is that why you have trouble trusting him completely?” Gil asks innocently.

I wince. “You could say that, si. No matter how hard I try, every single one fell apart for one reason or another. I can’t lose him, not now.”

Gil reaches over to ruffle my hair. “Trust me, it won’t fall apart. He’s been my friend since we were six, and we’re still friends thirteen years later. If anything happens between you two, it’s trust issues on either of your parts. He’s like a rock; he never sways from your side once he’s there. More people should be kinda like him, to be honest. He’s the best.”

I shake my head, feeling a jolt of panic as I feel some kind of pain that’s not my own. _Empathic,_ I register lightly, zeroing in. _Toni. God damn it, someone put poison in the IV tubes and they don’t know it._

I shake myself. “Gil.”

He notices the change in tone immediately, picking up the pace. “What?”

“I’m empathic,” I explain softly. “And Toni’s...spazing out. Like, been-poisoned type of spazing.”

He picks up the pace further. “Now?”

I nod lightly, feeling like I’m gonna be sick Not just from my own panic, but Toni’s. I can almost hear him crying internally, he can’t speak. _No, no, no, damn it. Not now, not now. Lovi, think of Lovi._

I wince, ignoring the slight shakiness in my hands as I fumble my way out of the car the moment it’s parked. Gil jumps out, closing his door quickly. I shut the door, taking a deep breath to keep myself from getting even dizzier and letting Gil lead the way.

“I can’t see,” I mutter, shaking my head. “It’s really, really strong. He can’t speak, and his vision’s going out. If they don’t figure it out, he’ll go under in minutes.”

Gil picks up the pace, one hand on my wrist to guide me inside. “Um, hi, is Doctor Beilshmidt in? He’s my dad.”

The receptionist chuckles. “Welcome in, honey. He’s in the E.R. with some kid named Toni.”

She lets us through. Gil picks up the pace further.

Gil slides in, pulling me through the door. “Dad, it’s poison.”

The doctor, blurry in my line of sight, looks up. “What’s wrong with Lovi?”

“Empathic,” I choke lightly. “I can feel everything he’s feeling. His vision’s going out, he can’t speak, and if the poison isn’t found then he’ll go under.”

I blink rapidly, trying to clear my vision. “I can barely see anything. Disadvantage to being an empath: I’m feeling literally everything he is. Pain, fear, panic. He’s scared, really scared.”

I can finally hear Toni calm just a little. _Lovi, I can hear Lovi. At least I can hear at all._

“He can still hear,” I cough, grimacing. “But his other senses are going out. His tongue is numb, his sense of touch is going out.”

I make my way forward enough until I can touch his hand, closing my hand on his. I can feel the same thing on his end, which is really strange; I can feel my own hand catching on his, shaky and stiff.

I focus on where the pain is centered. _The IV. Of course it is._

I reach out, blinking until I can see the IV and pulling it out. Most of the pain goes away, and Toni coughs hard. Doctor Beilshmidt frowns. “The IV’s for blood.”

“It’s also where the poison’s coming from,” I cough.

He takes a sample and tests it. “Damn. It’s one of the near-undetectable ones. You can’t see it.”

I nod, leaning a little into the bed. “I noticed. But it’s deadly as hell and he still has a ton of it in his system. He’s not spazing so much, but he’s still dying.”

“L-Lovi,” Toni chokes. “Wh-what the hell is it?”

“Arsenic,” I answer weakly.

His hand closes tightly on mine. “It hurts.”

Doctor Beilshmidt pulls a new IV, this one with the cure mixed with blood. “This should work.”

He plugs it in. In seconds, Toni passes out, but this time it’s from relief. The poison is gone, or at least rendered unusable. The pain fades and his senses return. I can see properly again.

Blood is still on his lips, and I reach out with a finger to wipe it off. “It worked. But he still passed out.”

“Who would do such a thing?” Gil protests, wiping shakily at his mouth. The garbage can next to him has vomit in it, and he’s paler than usual.

His dad hands him a paper towel and a cold rag. “I don’t know.”

“I do,” I murmur softly, coughing into my hands. A little blood comes up, proving my theory. The poison wasn’t exactly intended for Toni; only one person knows I’m empathic. Adrian.

They both look up. “What?”

I hold up my bloody hand. “Only one person knows I’m an empath and believes it. It wasn’t exactly intended to kill Toni, but more so to remind me one of them is still out there. Cody’s only friend.”

Gil frowns. “Huh?”

“The kid from sixth is friends with Cody,” I tell him lightly, coughing again. “Adrian.”

“What?” he asks, startled. “They’re friends?”

I nod slowly. “He’s seen me react before. Someone got badly beat up and I started spitting up blood cause I got near them. I ended up running around the school rather than going any closer to them. He saw it happen. He also knows about Toni because he talked to him about sixth grade during first period a few days ago. He’s aggressive when he wants to be.”

Doctor Beilshmidt shakes his head. “He’s a kid. He wouldn’t have access to it.”

“Not necessarily,” I counter. “Sixth grade happened twice, and once I wasn’t even conscious.”

“You mean he raped you _twice_ and knocked you out for one of them?” Gil asks, incredulous.

I nod, sitting down next to Toni. “Si. Because I put up a good fight the first time. And it was all on the school camera, too. They turned the footage over to the police and they didn’t do anything about it.”

“ _Dude,_ ” Gil curses, shaking his head. “That’s messed up.”

“He used a drug to do it,” I shrug casually. “One he shouldn’t’ve been able to get his hands on. And I know from being his friend—before the first time—that his uncle owns a drug store. I wouldn’t be surprised if he got ahold of something else from there, with or without permission.”

“Well, now you’ve got a friend who’s a police officer,” Gil says seriously. “Toni’s dad won’t just stand by and do nothing about a kid who nearly killed his son.”

I pull out my phone. “Yeah.”

Doctor Beilshmidt pulls out of the room, pulling Gil with. Everyone else just follows him out.

Toni startles awake, groaning a little. “Ow.”

I shoot him a strained smile. “Hey. You missed something important.”

“What?” he asks, his eyes finding mine.

I glance towards the door. “Adrian. He didn’t just come after me once.”

Toni winces, struggling up to a sitting position and sliding over to make room for me. “Twice?”

I nod. “I fought the first time and so he knocked me out with a drug he shouldn’t’ve been able to get his hands on the next time. I know from being his _boyfriend_ that his uncle owns a drug shop. And I’m an empath. Last time it was serious, he saw it. Someone got beat up and I got too close and started spitting up blood. I ended up having to go all the way around the school. He’s the only one who believed me because he saw the effect. He knows about you because he’s the kid from sixth. And he knows I’m an empath. Then there’s this.”

I hold out my hand. I still haven’t bothered to wipe the blood away. “Oh my god, are you okay?”

I shake my head. “I’m an empath, meaning I feel _everything_ someone else feels in pain. Si? We got just a couple streets away before I could feel it. And the closer I get, the more of it I feel. So not really, no. I could barely see anything. Just enough to get the IV out and tell them to replace it with a new one.”

Toni pulls me into a hug. “I heard you.”

“I noticed,” I agree. “Which is weird. I felt _everything_ you felt, including panic and fear. Including thoughts. And including feeling my hand on yours, which was a little strange.”

He tightens his grip. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

I shake my head, hugging him back. “The only thing that scared me was you nearly dying. And Gil threw up. We were actually talking about it on the way. Gil was saying he doesn’t wanna lose you because you’re just always there, and you keep the B.T.T together, and he said he doesn’t want to be left alone again. Plus the fact that once you’re there, you’re always there. You’re one of the steady people in life that never strays, and that always knows how to lighten the mood and fix a tense situation. You can calm him and Francis. And, in his words, ‘ _You can depend on him, he never really gives up on his friends even when the odds seem impossible. Y’know, the odds are never in your favor, but he says ‘nah I can do it’ and fixes it._ ’”

Toni laughs. “Yeah, I guess I do. I’m stubborn like that.”

“Si,” I agree lightly. “But he flat-out said I need you more than he does.”

Toni blushes and grins. “Why?”

I raise an eyebrow. “I’ll just repeat what he said, because I can’t really put it in words. He said _‘...you’re in love with each other and it’s obvious. Two, you’ve got a court case against that sixth grader to get through. Three, you trust him. And he’s teaching you how to trust again, bit by bit. He’s the reason you can start trusting all of us._ ’ See?”

He blushes scarlet and ducks his head, laughing quietly. “Gil’s right, I guess. But I didn’t expect him to notice all of that. He’s more observant than I thought.”

“Si,” I agree lightly.

“Whenever you’re agreeing you say ‘ _si_ ’, it’s adorable,” he laughs. “And since it’s both Spanish and Italian, I can still understand exactly what you’re saying.”

“No is also the same,” I counter. “When someone says no, it’s Spanish, Italian, _and_ English.”

“Yeah,” he agrees with a laugh. “But _si_ sounds similar to the English word ‘ _see_ ’, like ‘to look at’. I see it, si? It’s kinda fun to mess with people over it.”

“Si,” I agree with a half-smile.

There’s a pause before I ask, “Hey, do you have your mom’s number?”

He nods. “Sure, why?”

I grin. “Because.”

“You’re gonna call her?”

I shrug. “I might. She speak English?”

“Mostly. My little brother Jesus speaks perfect English, he grew up learning both.”

I twirl my phone in my fingers. “’Kay.”

He pulls my phone out of my hand, bringing it up. “Pass?”

I glance towards the door warily. “Six six six. I rigged it to let me do that.”

He laughs and types it in. “Awesome.”

He goes into the contacts and plugs it in as _Mommy :)_.

I roll my eyes, changing it to _Toni’s Mom_ but leaving the smiley face for Toni’s sake. “Dork.”

He laughs. “Nerd.”

I ruffle his hair, pocketing my phone and hugging him myself for once. He’s a little surprised, his instantly responds in kind. “I love you,” he murmurs into my hair.

I chuckle a little at that. “I love you, too, idiota.”

I pull back just enough to score a kiss, and he responds in kind again before grinning at me.

I give him a serious look. “You better not fucking die on me.”

He laughs lightly, giving me a one-armed hug. “Cross my heart and promise not to die.”

I can’t help but laugh at that. “Yeah, you do that. Gil is gonna wanna tell you something and I’m too embarrassed to talk about it, so I’m gonna leave the room a minute and let him do that. ’Kay?”

He nods, curiosity piqued. “What’s so embarrassing?”

“By the way, you’re a month older than me,” I tell him, sliding back to the ground.

He grins. “Just a month?”

“March seventeenth,” I tell him. “Same as Feli.”

He grins. “February twelfth.”

“Like I said,” I agree. “A month. And five days.”

He shakes his head. “So close.”

I roll my eyes. “Still older.”

I slide out. Gil looks up. “He’s awake. If you’re gonna bring up the birthday thing, do it now.”

He nods and slides inside.


	34. Señor and Señora Carriedo, Madame Bonnefoy, Matthieu et Alfred, & Frau Beilshmidt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovi calls Toni's parents, Gil and Ludwig's parents, and Francis' family to set something up (surprise party style) to say thank you for everything they've done for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanish, German, French. Lovi's POV. The parentheses in italic (right after the words) translates what they're saying into English.

I pull out my phone and dodge outside, dialing Toni’s dad first.

“Hola?” he answers. “Señor Carriedo speaking?”

I take a deep breath. “Hi. Uh, we have a problem.”

“What?” he asks, interest piqued. “What about?”

“Toni.”

He hesitates. “I know he’s in the hospital,” he starts slowly.

I nod. “Si, he is. But that’s not the problem. Someone poisoned him. And both of us coughed up blood, seeing as I’m a very sensitive empath. There’s only one person who could get access to that—through his uncle’s shop—and that’s Adrian. Sixth grade, he didn’t just...well, he raped me once and I put up a good fight. So he knocked me out with some drugs he shouldn’t’ve been able to get his hands on and did it again. He knows I’m an empath, he’s seen me choking on blood because someone else got beat up. And he got mad when Toni told him to leave me alone. And it was arsenic. He’s the only person who could possibly get his hands on it.”

“He was poisoned?” he asks rapidly, trying to catch up.

“Si, with arsenic.”

He clears his throat. “And Adrian’s the one who did it?”

I nod. “Si. Adrian Hoffmann. He goes to our school, he’s a super senior. Got held back in freshman year for failing all his classes. He has a record, too. Breaking-and-entering, stealing, plus they caught what he did to me in sixth grade on the cameras at my middle school, both times. Cascade.”

He swallows. “Okay. I’ll check it out.”

“Also,” I say, and he pauses. “Toni’s mom. He never mentions her.”

“Because she’s still in Spain, she doesn’t have the money.”

“Can’t you get ahold of the money somehow and send it to her?”

He pauses. “I have no idea what you’re suggesting.”

“Look,” I say softly. “Don’t tell Toni about this, it’s to say thank you for all he’s done for Feli and I. But I got a pretty huge inheritance when Grandpa went away, and I have the money enough to pay to bring her here. And his little brother, Jesus, too.”

There’s a pause and his voice grows a little excited. “Really?”

I nod. “Grandpa ran a restaurant and we got about four thousand from that, it should be more than enough to bring them here, si?”

He nods quickly. “Si, it’s more than enough. She needs about two thousand sixty five, including airplane tickets and everything, to be here legally.”

I nod slowly. “Si, I can do that. Just keep doing what you’re doing and I’ll get her here. I’ve got more than enough to handle this. I’ll call again in a few days, I’ve got something planned for everyone, too. Gil, Lud, Feli, Toni, you, Doctor Beilshmidt, all of you. Not only have you saved my life twice, and saved my brother’s life, but you took care of Grandpa too. And I have to repay it somehow. I’ll get back to you on that. Toni suggested something without realizing I actually had the money for it.”

“Si, I’ll get on Adrian’s case and see what I can do there. Just give me a few days and he’ll be on trial.”

I release a slow breath. “Si.”

He nods. “Alright, talk later.”

“Ciao,” I answer.

“Adios,” he answers back in Spanish, then the line goes dead.

 _Okay,_ I calm myself. _His dad’s all for it and gave the same number. So time to call his mother._

I dial his mother’s number. She picks up in Spanish, “Hola? ¿Quien es este?” ( _Hello? Who is this?_ )

“Um, hola. Esta es Lovino Vargas, soy amigo de su hijo Antonio.” ( _Um, hello._ _This is Lovino Vargas, I’m friends with your son Antonio._ )

“Oh!” she says, startled. “¿Habla usted Inglés?” ( _Do you speak English?_ )

“Sí, y el italiano, alemán y español. Soy de Italia.” ( _Yes, and Italian, German, and Spanish. I’m from Italy._ )

“¡Eso es genial! Toni no ha llamado desde hace mucho tiempo.” ( _That’s cool!_ _Toni hasn’t called in a long time._ )

“Lo sé.” I agree lightly. “Pero...bueno, él me salvó la vida y quiero devolverle de alguna manera.” ( _I know. But...well, he saved my life and I want to repay him somehow._ )

She makes a tiny sound of surprise and sits down. “Él salvó su vida? ¿Cómo?” ( _He saved your life? How?_ )

I sink down on the sidewalk, leaning my head against the wall. “Bueno, él salvó mi hermano por primera vez cuando algún agresor le estaba pateando. A continuación, algunos matón me dio una patada y se los quitó. Aterricé con cinco costillas rotas y una fractura en la nariz y las gafas rotas, pero sobreviví. Entonces mi abuelo me golpeó con fuerza suficiente para no sólo romper el hueso, sino causar una hemorragia interna y Toni ayudó a cuidar de eso, también. Y es también una de las pocas personas que he llegado a confiar, después de todas las cosas que han ido mal en mi vida.”

( _Well, he saved my brother first when some bully was kicking him. Then some bully kicked me and he pulled them off. I landed with five broken ribs and a broken nose and cracked glasses, but I survived. Then my Grandpa hit me hard enough to not only crack the bone but cause internal bleeding and Toni helped take care of that, too. And he’s also one of the few people I’ve come to trust, after all the things that have gone wrong in my life._ )

There’s silence on her end for several minutes before she says, “Guau. No estoy seguro de si eso es más triste o impresionante. Es decir, que sobrevivió, pero que sobrevivió a un infierno de mucho. Y _mi_ hijo es el que le ayudó.” ( _Wow. I’m not sure if that’s more sad or impressive. I mean, you survived but you survived a hell of a lot. And my son’s the one who helped you._)

I smile shyly. “Él es uno de mis primeros amigos. Mi abuelo está en la cárcel; mi madre murió al dar a luz a Feli, mi hermano pequeño, en mi cumpleaños; mi padre murió saltando de un puente en mi cumpleaños; y mi abuela se pegó un tiro en la cabeza un par de años más tarde, también en mi cumpleaños. No he tenido motivo para celebrar en años. Pero por una vez, no estoy tan asustado, y ha sido diez años desde que he celebrado. A partir de los sonidos de la misma, Toni y su amigo Gil van a salir algo de trabajo para celebrar, porque se le escapó a Gil al respecto.”

( _He’s one of my first friends. My grandpa’s in jail; my mom died giving birth to Feli, my little brother, on my birthday; my dad died jumping off a bridge on my birthday; and my grandma shot herself in the head a few years later, also on my birthday. I haven’t had cause to celebrate in years. But for once, I’m not so...scared, and it’s been ten years since I’ve celebrated. From the sounds of it, Toni and his friend Gil are gonna work something out to celebrate, because I let slip to Gil about it._ )

She laughs. “Sí, bueno, eso es Toni para usted. Observó Lilo y Stitch cuando era muy joven. ‘Ohana significa familia. Y la familia significa que nadie se quede atrás, o se olvida.’” ( _Yeah, well, that’s Toni for you. He watched Lilo and Stitch when he was really young._ ‘ _Ohana means family. And family means no one gets left behind, or forgotten._ ’)

I smile faintly at that. “Lo vi en Italia. Pero no es necesariamente cierto. Lo que la familia que me queda a mí ya mi hermano pequeño huye para no ser heterosexual. Estoy demisexual y Feli es bisexual, y lo odio.” ( _I watched in Italy. But it’s not necessarily true. What family I have left shuns me and my little brother for not being heterosexual. I’m demisexual and Feli’s bisexual, and they hate it._ )

“Bueno, entonces, que no saben lo que es la familia,” she counters boldly. “Estamos a su familia ahora.” ( _Well, then, they don’t know what family is. We’re your family now._ )

“Gracias,” I laugh lightly. “No hemos tenido una familia de diez años.” ( _Thank you. We haven’t had a family in ten years._ )

“Por supuesto,” she answers graciously. ( _Of course._ )

“Por lo tanto, yo he llamado por una razón. Tengo cuatro mil dólares desde el restaurante de mi abuelo, y yo quiero pagar Toni de nuevo por todo. ¿Cuánto es el costo de llegar a donde estás?” ( _So, I did call for a reason. I got four thousand dollars from my grandpa’s restaurant, and I want to pay Toni back for everything. How much would it cost to get you here?_ )

She inhales sharply. “Para Jesús y yo? Dos mil sesenta y cinco dólares, legalmente hablando.” ( _For Jesus and I? Two thousand sixty five dollars, legally speaking._ )

“Legalmente, por supuesto.” I agree lightly, nodding slightly. ( _Legally, of course._ )

She laughs. “¡Eres tan dulce!” ( _You’re such a sweetheart!_ )

“Gracias,” I allow graciously. “Lo estoy intentando.” ( _Thank you. I’m trying._ )

I can hear the lilting in her voice Toni mentioned, the tiniest smile tugging on my lips. “También Toni llama su voz cadenciosa y cantar-songy. Puedo ver lo que quiere decir.” ( _Also Toni called your voice lilting and sing-songy. I can see what he means._ )

She gasps and laughs. “Oh, eso es tan dulce!” ( _Oh, that’s so sweet!_ )

I grin, closing my eyes and leaning back against the wall. “Si, lo sé.” ( _Yeah, I know._ )

There’s silence for a while before she says, laughing a little, “Entonces, ¿cómo está mi hijo?” ( _So how’s my boy doing?_ )

I wince slightly. “Um...no está bien. Se puso bastante daño salvarme de un niño que trataba de violarme de nuevo y casi muere dos veces, luego nos envenenado y casi muere de nuevo. Tuvimos el caso y el niño está en la cárcel por herir a mí y amenazar a un grupo de niños y perjudicando a Toni. ¡Pero aún! Su padre está rastreando el niño que lo envenenó, también. Estoy un poco preocupada por él.”

( _Um...not good. He got pretty hurt saving me from a kid who was trying to rape me yet again and nearly died twice, then got poisoned and nearly died again. We had the case and the kid’s in jail for hurting me and threatening a bunch of kids and hurting Toni. But still! His dad’s tracking down the kid who poisoned him, too. I’m kinda worried about him._ )

There’s a pause and she asks, “Está _vivo_ , ¿verdad?” ( _He’s alive, right?_)

“Si,” I say with a nod. “Está hablando con Gil en este momento. Pero él está todavía en el hospital.” ( _Yes. He’s talking to Gil right now. But he’s still in the hospital._ )

“Eso no es bueno.” she worries lightly. ( _That’s not good._ )

I nod, rubbing at my eye. “Si, lo sé y no me gusta eso. Eso es parte de por qué quiero llegar aquí tan pronto como sea posible.” ( _Yeah, I know and I don’t like it. That’s part of why I want to get you here as soon as possible._ )

“Ah, ya veo. Bueno. ¿Tiene suficiente? Usted todavía necesita dinero para comprar alimentos.” ( _Ah, I see. Okay. Do you even have enough? You still need money for food._ )

“¡Sí!” I laugh lightly. “Por supuesto que sí. Todavía tengo una herencia de un millón de dólares por encima de los cuatro mil. Estoy cubierto, incluso si Toni y Gil no me alimentan. Que han sido, por supuesto.” ( _Yes! Of course I do. I still have an inheritance of a million dollars on top of the four thousand. I’m covered, even if Toni and Gil don’t feed me. Which they have been, of course._ )

“Oh, guau!” she exclaims. “Eso es un montón de dinero!” ( _Oh, wow! That’s a ton of money._ )

“Si,” I laugh. “Y más que suficiente para llegar aquí.” ( _Yes. And more than enough to get you here._ )

“Si,” she agrees. “De acuerdo, cuando se le envía el dinero?” ( _Yeah. Okay, when are you sending the money?_ )

“Ahora. Sólo estoy pagando por las cosas, entonces yo le enviaré eso. Van a llegar las fotos de los pasaportes en el aeropuerto. No se preocupe.” ( _Now. I’m just paying for the stuff, then I’ll send you that. They’ll get the pictures for the passports at the airport. Don’t worry about it._ )

“Muchas gracias!” ( _Thank you so much!_ )

“De nada,” I say with a smile. “Sé lo importante que es la familia, especialmente en un momento de crisis.” ( _You’re welcome/It’s nothing. I know how important family is, especially in a time of crisis._ )

“Eres tan inteligente que sus años, la miel. ¿Cuánto tiempo hasta que llegue?” ( _You’re so wise for your years, honey. How long until it gets here?_ )

I count in my head. “Alrededor de un día o dos.” ( _About a day or two._ )

“¡Muchísimas gracias!” she exclaims. “No sé cómo he pagos se envían!” ( _Thank you so, so much! I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you._ )

“Sólo por ser familiar para Feli y yo es suficiente,” I say softly. “Más que suficiente.” ( _Just being family for Feli and I is enough. More than enough._ )

“Está bien, si eso es lo que quiere.” she answers lightly. ( _Okay, if that’s what you want._ )

“Si,” I confirm lightly. “Gracias.”

“De nada, hijo.” ( _You’re welcome, son._ )

I hesitate. “Adiós, madre.” ( _Goodbye, mom._ )

“Adiós, hijo,” she answers with a smile in her voice before the line goes dead. ( _Goodbye, son._ )

I release a slow breath. That’s done. I do the work I need to do with my phone and then input the address Toni had given me with her contact info, sending the stuff on its way. _Two days max,_ the screen tells me.

I nod and go back to my homescreen, pocketing my phone.

Gil pushes his way out the door, making his way over to me. “Hey, we’re done. ...Why do you look so upset?”

I blink and look up. “What?”

“You’re all pale and sad-looking.”

I wince. “Eh, my family came up. Don’t worry about it. Speaking of which, Toni said you never talk about your mom.”

I rise to my feet, stretching a little. Gil blushes. “She’s...still in Germany.”

“Why?” I ask, feigning surprise.

Gil falls for it. “Well,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously and laughing nervously, “Um, Mom barely had the money to send Lud and I here, and even then she ran herself broke. She had to get enough money together just to keep her house, let alone come here.”

I duck my head. “I got just shy of two thousand from Grandpa, and an inheritance from Italy. I could get her here, if you like.”

“Seriously?” he asks, startled. “But it’s a thousand five hundred and fifty five dollars!”

I roll my eyes, keeping my head down. “Did you hear what Toni mentioned, my inheritance from Italy being enough to buy a fancy house? A _mill_ , Gil. I can pay under two thousand.”

Gil chokes. “ _A million dollars?_ ”

“Shhh,” I hush him. “I haven’t told Feli. He’s one of those shoppers who needs budget.”

Gil laughs at that. “Okay, okay. But you’re serious?”

I nod. “I want to pay you back. You’ve been there a lot of the time when you didn’t have to be.”

“But dude, _a thousand five hundred fifty five_.”

I shake my head. “I’ve got a thousand nine hundred thirty five dollars, Gil, I’m fine. And that’s just from the restaurant while Grandpa ran it, so...”

I pause. “I’d still have three hundred and eighty left after that. Not including the inheritance.”

Gil shakes his head. “You don’t have to...”

I finally look up. “Gil, seriously. I understand the importance of family more than most, after seeing my own fall apart. I’ve got enough, deal with it.”

Gil blushes and grins. “Erm...”

I shove him a little playfully. “ _Deal with it._ ”

He grins, laughing a little. “Fine, fine. But so she knows it’s not fake, here.”

He steals my phone away, turning it on. “Pass?”

“Not telling you,” I tease, snatching it back and entering the passcode before handing it back.

He grins, going under contacts and adding _Gil’s Mama ;)_.

After a minute or so he passes it back. “There. Address, email, phone. Also Francis.”

I raise an eyebrow. He pulls out and taps another. _Francis/France-y Pants_. “See?”

I roll my eyes, amused. “Whatever.”

He winks and heads back inside.

I shake my head, firing off a text to Francis. “ _Oi, Francis, it’s Lovino. Gil gave me your number. I noticed something about the three of you; none of you ever mention your mother. You did once, but that was it._ ”

He responds in seconds. “ _Well, she’s still in France with my little brother Matthew Williams, and my little brother Alfred F. Jones is in New York City at the moment. She’s cool but we haven’t talked in a while._ ”

I nod slightly. _So all their moms are still in the home country? Weird._ “ _Can I get their numbers?_ ”

“ _...Why?_ ”

I roll my eyes. “ _So I can contact them behind your back and plan something. I already did it with both Gil and Toni. I’m not doing anything bad, it’s to say thank you. For being there when Cody was, and also for not being a perv the last two years._ ”

“ _Oh, okay...?_ ” With that slightly confused text, he sends me her address, and his brother Alfred’s address, and their phone numbers. “ _Just don’t talk shit about me, agreed?_ ”

“ _Si. I’m not that cruel._ ”

I add them all to my contacts (Matthew’s address being the same as their mother’s), and text him, “ _I’ll let you know what I’m planning once it’s done. You’ll see. Literally._ _~Lovi_ ”

“ _Can’t wait! ~Francis ;)_ ”

I roll my eyes. “Whatever.”

I shake my head, calling Gil’s mom first. I’m not only better at German, I don’t like French all that much after Francis used it during the incident in sophomore year.

“Hallo? Wer ist das?” ( _Hello? Who is this?_ )

I close my eyes. “Um, hallo. Ich bin Freunde mit Ihrem Sohn Gilbert und mein kleiner Bruder Feliciano Freunde mit Ludwig ist. Ich heiße Lovino Vargas.” ( _Um, hello. I’m friends with your son Gilbert and my little brother Feliciano is friends with Ludwig. My name is Lovino Vargas._ )

“Ah, hallo! Gilbert hat eine Weile nicht mehr genannt, ich bin überrascht, dass er meine Nummer in Erinnerung hatte. Ludwig nennt immer noch jede Nacht, aber.” ( _Ah, hello! Gilbert hasn’t called in a while, I’m surprised he remembered my number. Ludwig still calls nightly, though._ )

I grin shyly. “Gil war mit der Schule und viele seiner Freunde beschäftigt immer verletzt, ich bin nicht besonders überrascht, dass er nicht angerufen hat.” ( _Gil’s been busy with school and a lot of his friends getting injured, I’m not particularly surprised he hasn’t called._ )

There’s a pause. “...Was?” ( _...What?_ )

I swallow. “Nun, sein kleiner Bruder Ludwig ist befreundet mit meinem Bruder. Ludwig gerettet Feli das Leben nur ein paar Wochen her, als jemand, der ein Deutscher zu sein behauptet, trat ihn, während er unten war. Dann nur ein paar Tage später, kam ich zu holen Feli-er war an den Rollstuhl gebundenen und habe mich verprügeln. Dann sein bester Freund Antonio, einer meiner engsten Freunde, bekam zu verprügeln. Und gerade heute, jemand versucht, Toni zu vergiften. Eine Menge Sachen passiert ist.”

( _Well, his little brother Ludwig is friends with my brother. Ludwig saved Feli’s life just a couple weeks ago when someone who claimed to be German kicked him while he was down. Then just a few days later, I came to pick up Feli—he was wheelchair-bound—and got beat up myself. Then his best friend Antonio, one of my closest friends, got beat up too. And just today, someone tried to poison Toni. A lot of stuff’s been happening._ )

“Na dann,” she says, surprised. “Das erklärt einiges. Alle Anrufe von Ludwig haben als gewöhnlich kürzer und angespannt.” ( _Well then. That explains a lot. All of Ludwig’s calls have been shorter and more tense than usual._ )

I nod. “Verständlich.” ( _Understandable._ )

She sighs. “Nun, sagen Gil öfter zu nennen, werden Sie nicht?” ( _Well, tell Gil to call more often, won’t you?_ )

“Ja,” I agree lightly. “Aber darüber...” ( _Yeah. But about that..._ )

“Was? Stimmt etwas nicht?” ( _What? Is something wrong?_ )

I shake my head, laughing a little to try and ease the tension. “Nein, nein. Aber für einen, hat Gil erhalten verletzt jemand davon abhalten mich zu vergewaltigen. Verlorene einen Zahn und schlug seine Schienbeine ziemlich schlecht auf. Auch möchte ich ihn irgendwie zu vergelten, und ich habe mehr als genug Geld aus dem Erbe bekam man hier zu bekommen.” ( _No, no. But for one, Gil did get hurt stopping someone from raping me. Lost a tooth and banged up his shins pretty bad. Also, I want to repay him somehow and I’ve got more than enough money from the inheritance to get you here._ )

She sighs. “Nun, er ist ganz der Familie Mann, er wird nicht tatenlos zusehen, wenn jemand in Gefahr ist. Und was für ein Erbe, Schatz? Sie können nicht viel älter als Gilbert ist.” ( _Well, he is quite the family man, he won’t stand by when someone’s in danger. And what inheritance, honey? You can’t be much older than Gilbert is._ )

I shake my head. “Nein, ich bin 19 Jahre alt. Aber mein Großvater im Gefängnis für meinen Bruder schlagen und ich hart genug Knochen zu knacken. Meine Mutter starb an meinen Bruder an meinem Geburtstag und mein Vater frei fiel von einer Brücke ein paar Jahre später bei der Geburt. Dann schoss meine Oma sich in den Kopf ein paar Jahre danach. Ich bin der älteste links in meiner Familie, mein Bruder ist zwei Jahre jünger als ich.”

( _No, I’m nineteen years old. But my grandfather’s in jail for hitting my brother and I hard enough to crack bone. My mom died giving birth to my brother on my birthday and my dad free-fell from a bridge a few years later. Then my grandma shot herself in the head a couple years after that. I’m the oldest left in my family, my brother is two years younger than me._ )

There’s a pause. Only her breathing tells me she’s still on the line, and it’s a little shaky. Then she says in a soft voice, “Honig, wie kann man sagen, dass so ruhig?” ( _Honey, how can you say that so calmly?_ )

I wince, sighing softly. “Nun ... das ist einfach mein Leben. Ich habe Schlimmeres erlebt. Mein bester Freund sprang aus dem Empire State Building. Ein anderer wurde von einem Bus überfahren . Während der sechsten Klasse vergewaltigte ein Kind mich zweimal, einmal, während ich bewusstlos war. Achte Klasse jemand spielte mir. Dann College-Student-Jahr drohte jemand eine Reihe von anderen Menschen zu vergewaltigen mich Menschen zu Gruppe-Raps zu bekommen. Wir haben gerade durch diesen Fall nicht mit dem Kind vom sechsten noch behandelt. Das Kind vom sechsten ist die gleiche, die Feli getreten, während er unten war. Ich habe immer die Erwachsenen, vor allem in Anbetracht Opa hat mich sehr viel und es kann nie eine dauerhafte Spuren hinterlassen. Der Rest meiner Familie gemieden Feli und ich für unsere Sexualitäten.”

( _Well...that’s just my life. I’ve had worse. My best friend jumped off the Empire State Building. Another got hit by a bus. During sixth grade a kid raped me twice, once while I was unconscious. Eighth grade someone played me. Then sophomore year, someone threatened to rape a bunch of other people to get people to group-rape me. We just got through that case, haven’t dealt with the kid from sixth yet. The kid from sixth is the same who kicked Feli while he was down. I’ve always been the adult, especially considering grandpa hit me a lot and it just never left a permanent mark. The rest of my family shunned Feli and I for our sexualities._ )

There’s another few minutes of silence. “Mein Lieber, das ist erschreckend. Ich bin sehr traurig, Sie damit zu tun hatte.” ( _My dear, that’s horrifying. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that._ )

I laugh nervously. “Es hat mich stärker gemacht, nehme ich an. Ich weiß, dass die Bedeutung der Familie mehr als die meisten. Familie bedeutet, dass niemand hinter oder vergessen gelassen wird. Und wenn ich brachte dich auf, bekam Gil ungewöhnlich leise und traurig. Ich möchte, dass zu beheben.” ( _It’s made me stronger, I suppose. I know the importance of family more than most. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten. And when I brought you up, Gil got abnormally quiet and sad. I want to fix that._ )

She chuckles. “Honig, ich will nicht, Ihr Geld zu verschwenden.” ( _Honey, I don’t want to waste your money._ )

“Es ist in Ordnung. Ich würde dreihundert einige Dollar übrig haben, Gil mir schon gesagt, wie viel. Ich kann Essen mit, dass kaufen, auch wenn Toni und Gil Fütterung uns zu stoppen.” ( _It’s okay. I’d have three hundred some dollars left, Gil already told me how much. I can buy food with that, even if Toni and Gil stop feeding us._ )

There’s a pause. “Wie viel hast du?” ( _How much do you have?_ )

“Ein tausendneunhundert fünfunddreißig. Opa lief ein italienisches Restaurant.” I tell her softly. ( _One thousand nine hundred thirty five._ _Grandpa ran an Italian restaurant._ )

“Beeindruckend. Alles klar.” ( _Wow. Okay then._ )

I hesitate, saying timidly, “Ich kann Ihnen legal einwandern müssen für all die Dinge zu bezahlen. Ich kann es Ihnen schicken, wenn Sie möchten.” ( _I can pay for all the stuff you need to legally immigrate. I can send it to you, if you like._ )

She laughs. “Oh, du bist sehr süß. Wie kann ich widerstehen ? Das wäre schön, danke.” ( _Oh, you’re so sweet. How can I resist? That would be lovely, thank you._ )

“Bitte. Wir sehen uns in ein paar Tagen, guten tag.” ( _You’re welcome. See you in a few days, good day._ )

“Guten tag, Schätzchen.” ( _Good day, sweetie._ )

The line goes dead. I lay my phone in my lap for a moment, taking a deep breath and doing the same with her. _There. Now...French. Francis’ mom. Then his brother, then his other brother._

I pick up the phone again, deciding to dial the one in New York City first. Alfred.

He picks up on the second ring. “Wassup, man?”

I wince. “Um, hi.”

He laughs. “Hello, there.”

I take a deep breath to calm myself. “Um, your brother Francis wants to gather your family over here. Partially because he’s got a girlfriend and who better to tease him than brothers and mother, also partially because he stopped someone from raping me and I’m paying him back.”

There’s a pause. “That got deep quick. France-y pants has a _girlfriend_?”

I nod. “Yeah. Joan. I, uh, I can send you a picture, if you like. Gil took one.”

“Gil?”

I grin nervously. “He’s got a whole crowd of friends over here. The B.T.T., or the Bad Touch Trio, which is him, Gilbert, and Antonio, or Gil and Toni. My brother and I too, I suppose.”

“God damn, he got popular,” Alfred laughs. “I’m Alfred, I’m his little brother by a year and two days.”

“Lovino,” I answer in kind.

Alfred yawns. “So what’s old France-y pants want now?”

“Family reunion, basically,” I shrug casually. “Your mom and brother and you all up here. He actually got really quiet on the mention of family and he’s always chatting so there’s that.”

“Ha,” Alfred laughs. “Sentimental old Francis. Yeah, yeah, I got it. When?”

“Within the next week?” I suggest lightly. “It’ll only take a couple days to get everyone else up here.”

He nods at that. “Okay, how about two, three days from now I’ll pop in and say hi?”

I nod, relieved he picked a closer date. “Okay.”

“He probably thinks I’m lazin’ around playin’ video games,” Alfred laughs. “But I got a job like a good boy. I got the money to fly out. Especially when a girlfriend is involved. I haven’t had the chance to tease him over girls yet. Gotta get on my game!”

I smile faintly at that. “Yeah. I haven’t gotten the chance yet, but Feli’s got a lot of options. Girls love him, especially since he can be both goofy and romantic.”

“Yeah, the ladies love that,” Alfred laughs. “Not that I’d know.”

I chuckle nervously. “Well, they love Francis since he’s almost always got a rose or chocolate on hand. They come flocking to see him on a bad day and he cheers them up, even if it drives Joan a little crazy.”

“Ha, that’s Francis for ya,” he agrees. “Got all the ladies but only wants one. Lucky duck. Yeah, I’ll fly out in a few days. He texted me an address a few years ago, didn’t realize he actually _wanted_ me around.”

I grin a little. “That’s the idea. He’s not the type to just say ‘hey come spend time with me’ cause that seems narcissistic. He’s nicer than that, usually.”

“Yeah,” Alfred agrees with a laugh. “Yeah, just tell him I’ll drop in, eh?”

I nod. “Okay.”

“And definitely send me that picture,” he laughs. “Gotta see his new girl, man.”

I grin shyly. “Done.”

He laughs. “Alright, bye Lovi.”

I wince. “Bye.”

He hangs up with a click. I shake my head, going and texting him the photo from Gil.

He responds almost instantly, “ _She’s beautiful. Damn he’s lucky._ ”

I roll my eyes, texting Francis, “ _Alfred says he’ll be up in a few days, he wants to see Joan._ ”

“ _Of course he does, ha. Wants to tease me over it, probably. But thank you. I can’t put it into words without sounding needy._ ”

I roll my eyes. “ _Of course. I’ve got a way with words._ ”

“ _Noticed,_ ” he fires back. “ _Love it._ ”

I roll my eyes, calling Matthew next.

“Uh, hello?” he asks shyly as he picks up. “Uh, Matthew speaking?”

I laugh nervously. “Uh, hi, Matthew. How are you?”

He hesitates. “I’m okay. Did...did Francis put you up to this?”

“No,” I say instantly. “He stopped someone from hurting me so I’m just doing him a favor. He doesn’t know how to ask to spend time with anyone without sounding needy. I can get you and your mom up here in a couple of days. He’s got a girlfriend, Joan, and a bunch of friends, too. He was really relieved when I suggested I could help him out.”

“O-oh,” he says, surprised. “But we don’t have the money to...”

“I do,” I cut him off gently. “I have more than enough.”

“Seven thousand nine hundred sixty-four?” he asks shyly.

I nod. “I’ve got a mill from inheritance, I’ve got you covered.”

“Wow,” he whispers, awed. “When?”

“Two days,” I tell him gently. “Pack like you’re not coming back, I doubt you’ll want to.”

“Merci,” he whispers. “Merci beaucoup...” ( _Thank you, thank you so much..._ )

“Uh, vous êtes les bienvenus. ” ( _Uh, you’re welcome._ )

“Vous parler français?” he asks, startled. ( _You speak French?_ )

“Oui,” I tell him shyly. “J’ai appris la langue en Italie.” ( _Yeah, I learned the language in Italy._ )

“Wow! Vous êtes italien?” ( _Wow! You’re Italian?_ )

“Uh, oui,” I agree lightly, grinning. “Vous êtes canadien, oui?” ( _Uh, yeah. You’re Canadian, yeah?_ )

He gasps a little. “Oui, oui! Je suis canadien. Mon frère est américain et il est en La ville de New York!” ( _Yes, yes! I’m Canadian. My brother is American and he is in New York City!_ )

“Bien,” I say nervously, grinning. “Je vous aime bien, Matthieu.” ( _Good. (Good, cool, okay.) I like you._ )

“Oh, merci!” Matthew says excitedly. “Comment vous appelez-vous?” ( _Oh, thank you! What is your name? (What are you called?)_ )

“Je m’appelle Lovino Vargas,” I answer politely. “Et mon petit-frère s’appelle Feliciano.” ( _My name is (I am called) Lovino Vargas. And my little brother is called Feliciano._ )

He chuckles. “Les noms très italien, non?” ( _Very Italian names, no?_ )

“Oui,” I laugh lightly. ( _Yeah._ )

“Je radoter encore, désolé. Je vous remercie, vous voir dans quelques jours!” ( _I’m rambling again, sorry. Thank you, see you in a few days!_ )

I nod. “Bien sur. Voulez-vous dans quelques jours, Mattieu. Au revoir.” ( _Of course. See you in a few days, Matthew. Good bye (till next we meet.)._ )

“Au revoir,” he agrees, and the line goes dead after a few fumbles on his end—out of excitement, I presume. ( _Goodbye!_ )

I take a deep breath and call the mother.

“Allô?” ( _Hello? (when on a telephone)_ )

I take a deep breath. “Bonjour, je m’appelle Lovino. Je suis amis avec Francis, et il m’a sauvé de très mauvaises personnes.” ( _Hello, I’m Lovino. I'm friends with Francis, and he's saved me from some very bad people._ )

“Bonjour,” she answers, at attention. “Qu’est-ce qu’il fait maintenant?” ( _Hello. What’s he done now?_ )

I hesitate. “Un enfant a essayé de me violer à nouveau et lui, aux côtés de ses deux meilleurs amis, a arrêté le gamin.” ( _A kid tried to rape me again and he, alongside his two best friends, stopped the kid._ )

“Oh?” she asks, startled. “Quand?” ( _Oh? When?_ )

“Juste il y a quelques jours. Je, euh, je voulais lui rendre en quelque sorte. Je suis un héritage assez décent de ma famille, depuis que je suis le plus vieux maintenant. Je pourrais payer votre chemin ici. Il a dit qu'il ne sait pas comment demander sans avoir l'air pauvre.” ( _Just a few days ago. I, uh, I wanted to repay him somehow. I got a pretty decent inheritance from my family, since I’m the oldest now. I could pay your way here. He said he doesn’t know how to ask without sounding needy._ )

There’s a pause and she says, “Assez décent pour avoir assez pour la nourriture?” ( _Decent enough to have enough left for food?_ )

“Bien sûr!” I assure her. “Mais mes amis se nourrissent mon petit frère et moi en ce moment, donc nous sont couverts pour maintenant.” ( _Of course! But my friends are feeding my little brother and I at the moment, so we’re covered for now._ )

“D’accord,” she allows. “Mais juste pour visiter, ou là pour rester?” ( _Okay. But just to visit, or there to stay?_ )

“Pour rester,” I answer lightly. “Parce qu’il vous manque trois trop.” ( _To stay. Because he misses you three too much._ )

“Ah, d’accord. C’est mignon. Donc quand?” ( _Ah, okay. That’s cute. So when?_ )

I release a slow breath. “En deux jours. Assez de temps pour emballer. Aussi, Francis a une petite amie nommée Joan.” ( _In two days. Enough time to pack. Also, Francis has a girlfriend named Joan._ )

“D’accord,” she chuckles. “Il est mignon, je ne suis pas surpris.” ( _Okay. He’s cute, I’m not surprised_.)

I grin at that. “Oui, d’accord. Rendez-vous dans quelques jours.” ( _Yeah, okay. See you in a few days._ )

“Oui. Au revoir, ami.” ( _Yes_. _Goodbye, friend._ )

I smile shyly. “Au revoir.” ( _Goodbye._ )

The line goes dead at last and I slide my phone back in my pocket. _Finally._


	35. Promise Not To Tell Anyone Else? (Lovi's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni and Lovi talk. (It gets deep again.) They fall asleep curled together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovi's POV. Fluff and angst together.

I rise back to my feet and head inside.

Gil smirks at me, ruffling my hair. “He wants to talk. I told him about the birthday thing, he actually sat up.”

I shake my head, sliding past him without a word.

I slide in and Toni looks up, eyes wide and searching. “Hey.”

I make my way over, flopping down next to him. “Hey.”

He seems to pick up that something’s wrong immediately. “What’s wrong?”

I strain a smile. “I’m fine.”

Toni pulls me into his lap. “Lovi, I know when you’re lying.”

I sigh quietly, falling into him. “My family came up. And those that are alive....they hate Feli and I. Not an easy subject.”

He holds me close, not saying anything but just comforting me with silence and casual affection—hugs, light kisses on the top of my head and cheek. Just being there.

After several minutes, I ask shyly, “Can I tell you something if you promise not to tell anyone else? Especially not Feli, it would kill him.”

Toni hesitates and nods. “Always.”

I close my eyes, listening to make sure no one’s in earshot. “Everyone always asks me why I’m not more like Feli. Enough that I’ve started asking myself. I already had pretty low self-esteem because even when dad and grandma were alive they favored Feli, and everyone did, except Mom. But then she was gone and she couldn’t tell me I was important anymore. And I couldn’t tell Feli because he’s younger than me, and I’m not gonna be the one who wipes that smile off his face. I saw him cry once in Italy when Atticus left, I never wanna see him cry like that again. He couldn’t speak to anyone for months, let alone make any friends. He wouldn’t talk to grandma or grandpa either, he refused to let anyone but me come near him.”

There’s silence for a few minutes, and once I gather the courage to look at Toni again, he seems simply shocked. Not hurt like I feared, or angry or upset in some way. Just...surprised.

It takes him several minutes to say anything. “Lovi...you’re different than Feli because you grew up different, with different experiences. You’re two completely different people. And that’s okay. That’s normal. It’d be weird if you two were the same, because you were never _meant_ to be. You’re stronger in some ways—do you really think Feli would’ve survived all the attacks you did?—and he’s stronger in art. He’s an amazing artist, sure, but you’re an amazing singer. You’re good at music. You’re strong in ways that Feli couldn’t be, because he hasn’t gone through the same things. He’s strong because of Atticus in his own way, but he’s also not as strong as you because you’ve survived more than him. Your coping mechanisms are different for the same things. Lud told me Feli keeps getting told he’s useless and a wimp and an idiot and it’s starting to get to him. You’ve been raped and your life’s been hell. Neither of you are perfect, but that’s okay. Life isn’t fair nor is it perfect. And we can get through the hard times by looking ahead. You don’t need to change anything, honey. You’re adorable when you cuss, you’re shy and cute, you sure as hell are more than I deserve. There’s no need to get cocky and self-sure like Gil can be, but you shouldn’t look down on yourself. I fell in love with you for a damn reason.”

He flops back on the bed, pulling me down next to him and stretching out. “You’re fine just the way you are. Just because some people can’t see that doesn’t mean you should try to change.”

I curl up against him, closing my eyes. “I’ve been trying to fight back, but every time I do they just tell me that it’s proof of everything they’re saying. I just hate being looked down on all the time.”

“You’re not anymore,” Toni counters softly, his arms tucked around me. “Gil doesn’t look down on you, nor does Ludwig. Or Francis, really, not anymore. Feli looks up to you, he reveres you. I love you, and you can’t love someone and look down on them. It just doesn’t work.”

I squeeze my eyes shut. “I know. And I’m trying to get my head around that. Feli and I, after what our family did...abandonment and rejection, that’s what really scares us. Feli deals with it by surrounding myself with friends so he’ll never be alone. I just...don’t have friends. That way, I won’t get hurt.”

Toni lightly kisses my forehead. “Lovi, I swear to God, if someone hurts you—even if it’s me— _tell me_. You deserve better than that, I promise.”

“Gil already said he’d kill you if you hurt me,” I counter softly.

“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t blame him,” Toni shrugs lightly. “I’d kill me, too.”

I wrap my arms tightly around him, closing my eyes. “What Gil wanted to talk about...”

“Have you really not celebrated in ten years?” Toni asks gently.

I nod. “Yeah. Partially because low self-esteem, what’s the point in celebrating me? Partially because I keep getting forgotten because Feli’s so much more fun. Also because I haven’t had cause to.”

I pause. “I haven’t had anyone I counted among my friends. No one among my family I felt like celebrating with, since I always feel like Grandpa pushed me away and Feli’s having fun on his own. I had no one to celebrate it with and no reason to want to celebrate another year of torture I’d made it through. So no, I didn’t celebrate.”

Toni hesitates. “We can fix that. You’ve got friends, you have family who cares about you.”

I raise an eyebrow. “I’m used to getting forgotten. To being hurt when people go places without me. And I’ve never had cause to want anything different. Because Feli is noticed but a lot of people hate him for being overly cheerful and not wanting to fight anyone.”

“There are _always_ going to be people who hate you, mainly because they’re jealous,” Toni shrugs. “Jealous you’re happy, jealous you feel free to be yourself, jealous you’re in a relationship, jealous you’re famous or rich or happy. They will always find a reason to try and drag you down. You just gotta refuse to drop to their level and move on. People hate Feli for being _able_ to be happy, for being a peaceful person. It’s time to stop getting forgotten and being hurt. We can turn this around.”

“It’s already been almost three weeks after,” I protest softly. “What’s the point?”

“To prove we can,” he says stubbornly. “To prove we can be happy, that you _can_ have friends. We’re gonna start celebrating every year. Because _you are worth it_.”

I close my eyes again, giving up on arguing. “I’m too tired and stressed to argue. But I still disagree.”

“Low self-esteem aside,” he insists. “Just a night for us to gather and celebrate our successes. We put a monster in jail, and we’re on the trail of another. You survived _nineteen years_ while being suicidal and depressed. Some people don’t make it fourteen. You’re stronger than you realize, sweetie.”

I sigh, my hand finding his. “Whatever.”

He turns his hand enough to slide our fingers together, curling up around me. “I love you.”

I hesitate. “I know. I love you, too. Idiota.”

Toni laughs quietly, kissing the tip of my nose and smiling at me. “Get some sleep, Lovi.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Call me Roma. No one else does. That’s where I’m from: Romano. Or South Italy. Either way, Roma for short. Mom used to call me that.”

“Okay,” he agrees softly. “But Lovi’s a habit.”

I shrug, tucking myself against him and letting the stress roll of my shoulders into the land of dreams.


	36. Francis' Surprise (Lovi's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovi drags a very disgruntled Francis to the airport for his early-morning surprise. Fluff and cuteness ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovi's POV. Involves Canada and America as France's little brothers and a mother for the three of them.

Francis grumbles. “Why are you dragging me to the airport at five in the morning? I thought you hated me, plus why an airport?”

I choke back a laugh. “You’ll see. And I don’t hate you. I don’t trust you, no, but I don’t hate you. Hate is a strong word. I hate Cody. I hate Adrian. I don’t hate you. Just follow me, you’ll see soon enough. We’re waiting on two different planes.”

“Why?” he grumbles.

“One from somewhere far away, one from somewhere else in this country,” I answer vaguely.

“Oh, come on,” Francis grumbles. “You could at least tell me who we’re waiting on.”

I grin. “You’ll recognize them when you see them. One you might be surprised to find has a _job_.”

“Oh, golly gee,” he says sarcastically.

I laugh a little. “Just shut up. You’ll see. And you’ll get why he was convinced you’d be surprised.”

Francis rolls his eyes, letting me drag him over between the two planes—luckily, right next to one another rather than across the airport from each other. Alfred told me which flight he took, and since I booked his mom and brother, I know which one they’re on.

I can finally spot Alfred above the crowd—he sent a picture of him with some girl at the mall—and a woman with Francis’ hair standing next to a boy with Alfred’s look and a cool-looking curl, almost like mine. _Finally._

Alfred shoves his way quickly through the crowd and hugs Francis. It takes Francis a moment to recognize him, and once he does he gets excited very quickly. “Alfred!”

“Hey, France-y pants,” Alfred greets him, letting go to grin at him. “I hear you have a girlfriend? Lucky bastard.”

Francis laughs. “Oui, her name is Joan.”

The woman hugs him similarly, and I can see his eyes light up. “Mom! Matthieu!”

I duck my head. Alfred turns a faint smile on me. “You must be Lovi. I’m Alfred.”

He shakes my hand with a grin, carefree like Toni. I shoot him a more timid smile, and he chuckles. “You’re adorable.”

I duck my head, abnormally quiet. I’m waiting for it to come up that I paid Matthew and their mother’s way, and for Francis to respond to it.

Matthew smiles a little, muttering, “We didn’t pay for anything. The kid who called did. Lovino Vargas.”

Francis turns a startled eye on me, breathing, “ _You didn’t._ ”

I keep my eyes down. It takes only a moment’s silence for him to regain his excitement. “Why?”

I cough a little. “I had money to spare.”

“That’s more than a little spare!” he exclaims.

I laugh a little, quietly. “I know.”

Matthew grins. “C’est bon de vous rencontrer enfin.” ( _It’s good to meet you at last._ )

I smile shyly. “Je le rembourse juste. De rien.” ( _I’m just repaying him. It’s nothing._ )

“Non, merci!” he insists. “Tu n’étais pas obligé.” ( _No, thank you! You didn’t have to._ )

I smile shyly at him. “Je sais.” ( _I know._ )

He smiles shyly back. Francis looks startled yet again. “Since when do you speak French?”

I cough a little. “I learned it in Italy.”

“Oh.”

I grin; I can’t help it. “You don’t know as much about me as you think you do. Maybe if you took the time to learn, you’d understand a lot more.”

Francis blushes and nods. “D’accord.” ( _Okay._ )

His mother smiles at me. “Je vous remercie, jeune garçon. C’était très gentil de votre part.” ( _I thank you, young boy. That was very nice on your part._ )

Heat floods my cheeks and I drop my eyes to my feet. “De rien. Il n’y a pas de quoi.” ( _It’s nothing. You’re welcome._ )


	37. Gil's Surprise (Lovi's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gil being impatient then grateful. Lovi has a surprise in store for him and his family. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovi's POV. Lovi being cute and shy.

Gil rubs his eyes. “It’s seven. It’s too early. I normally get up at ten. This better be important.”

“Stop complaining,” I tell him quietly. “I’m tired, too, I did this yesterday with Francis but at five. Suck it up, buttercup. You’ll like this, I promise.”

“And if I don’t?”

I cough a little. “If you don’t, I’d be very surprised. Believe me, they’re important.”

“They?”

“It’s a person, obviously,” I tell him, rolling my eyes. “You’re not _that_ oblivious.”

Gil rolls his eyes. “Jerk.”

I grin slyly. “Say that again when you know why we’re here.”

A soft, adventurous woman sneaks up stealthily, tackling Gil in a hug. “Gil!”

Gil snaps awake to hug her back. “Mom!”

Ludwig looks up, having trailed a bit behind. His eyes widen, and he opens his arms to accept the embrace. “Mama.”

Feli finally starts paying attention, his eyes lifting sleepily to her. Doctor Beilshmidt’s mouth drops open, and he embraces her fondly. “Clara!”

“Marcus,” she answers. “It’s been too long.”

“That it has.”

Ludwig smiles shyly when her eyes turn to a sleepy Feli. “Um, this is my...friend...Feli. Feliciano Vargas.”

Clara extends a hand. “Clara Beilshmidt. I’m Ludwig’s mother.”

“Feli,” he mumbles.

“He's usually a lot louder,” Ludwig adds. “He's tired.”

“So are we all. So who’s this, then?”

Gil coughs, snapping out of his trance. “Um, that’s Lovi.”

He shifts his eyes to me. “I’m assuming this was your doing?”

I cough and nod. “Si.”

Clara extends a hand. “Clara.”

“Lovino,” I answer, briefly accepting her hand.

“Thank you, son,” she says with a smile.

“Erm, you’re welcome,” I agree shyly.

A slow smile spreads across Gil’s lips. “Oh my god. You didn’t possibly…”

I glance at him. “I told you I had to repay you. Don’t worry about it.”

Gil starts laughing. “I wasn’t expecting _this_! Thank you!”

I smile shyly again. “Of course.”


	38. Last Trial (Toni's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrian's trial. Shorter. I had to fit Toni's POV in here somehow, we've had a lot of Lovi. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short. Toni's POV.

Lovi coughs a little, edging closer to me. Adrian only glares as Lovi and I tell the judge what happened and doesn’t deny a thing.

We sit at last, and the juries babble on before two come down to talk to the judge. He rises to his feet as they retreat. “The decision is unanimous. Guilty on all charges. And twenty years in prison is the sentence, with a lifetime ten-foot restraining order. Case closed.”

He slams his mallet down. People begin to disperse, and Adrian lunges at Lovi. The guards catch him and drag him off before he can touch him, and I carry him calmly from the room. “It’s over,” I tell him. “It’s all over.”

“I know. It’s over,” he answers quietly, but I have a feeling he’s talking to himself more than me.


	39. Toni's Surprise (Lovi's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovi gives back to Toni (after all he's done for him). Toni is delighted. (Brief because it's hard to explain all the fluff.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FLUFF. Spamano kiss (in front of his family!). Lovi's POV.

Toni yawns, but he still seems his usual happy self. “Why are we here so early?”

I cough a little. “You’ll see. I already told your dad about it otherwise he’d be here too. He insisted on staying home to greet them then.”

“Them?” he asks curiously.

“You will _see_ ,” I tell him stubbornly. “Quite literally. Just give them a few minutes to get off the plane. You’re lucky I didn’t drag you here before the plane got here.”

“It’s eight,” he complains. “In the _morning_.”

“Francis was at five and Gil at seven,” I tell him quietly. “Stop whining. This is a more reasonable hour. Besides, it’s not as if you’ll care once you see who it is.”

Toni rolls his eyes. “Whatever.”

I finally spot the shock of dark, messy hair and the wavy, smooth haired woman through the crowd. The boy sits on his mother’s shoulders, a tiny backpack on his shoulders. The mother drags a much larger bag, and Toni’s too tired to notice where I’m looking. “How much longer?” he asks.

I grin. “A minute or so. Be patient. You’re gonna like this.”

“How can you be so sure?” he demands.

I elbow him and point. “Look, for God’s sake. You might not recognize him, but you’ll at least recognize her. Shut up and wait.”

Toni follows my finger and rubs his eyes. “Hang on. That’s impossible.”

I cough a little. “I was serious about what I said.”

“Paying me back, yeah, I figured,” he agrees. “But...that’s a lot of money, Lovi.”

“I know,” I shrug. “Gil and Francis know too. I did the same thing. No big deal.”

The mother finally breaks from the crowd, making her way over. “Toni!”

“Mom,” he breathes, wrapping her up in his arms and dropping my hand. His mother laughs, dropping the bags and hugging him warmly.

The boy doesn’t react until she pulls away, jumping from her shoulders. She winces a little, and Toni catches him. “Hey, buddy!”

Toni’s smile makes the cost more than worth it. I can see the gleam in his eyes, the smile on his lips, the warmth in his touch, and I know he’s happy. And that’s what matters.

I keep my head down, so neither of them can catch my eye. It takes a few minutes of them settling down—and Toni chatting a bit with Jesús—before they calm, and Toni slides an arm around me.

I lean automatically into the touch, my eyes closing. Toni laughs a little. “I think he’s tired. Um, this is Lovi. My...boyfriend. That’s kinda a new thing.”

His mother laughs a little. “He’s also the one who paid our way, so I’ve heard.”

“Yeah,” Toni laughs. “And he left me totally out of the loop, the little bugger.”

I cough, unable to stop myself from laughing a little. “Hey, surprises are better left unsaid.”

Toni grins. “Jerk.”

I finally look up. Toni takes advantage of that to press his lips lightly to mine for a moment, then pulls back and laughs when Jesús giggles at him.

His mom shakes her head, extending a hand. “Sophia Carriedo.”

“Lovino Vargas,” I answer, accepting the hand.

She shakes my hand once and lets go. “It’s nice to meet you at last.”

I duck my head, grinning. “You, too.”

Toni laughs again. “Don’t you make faces at me, little guy. This is my boyfriend, you’re gonna have to learn to accept him.”

He winks to soften the statement. Jesús giggles again. “Okay.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Toni’s mother pulls me away from Toni into a warm hug, the likes of which I haven’t felt since Mom died. I melt into the touch without thinking about it, barely startled when she whispers, “I’m sorry you went through that, but we’re gonna fix it now.”

I close my eyes for a moment. She lets go, and Toni automatically reaches for my hand. I slide my fingers through his, dropping my eyes to the ground.

“I heard my little boy got poisoned,” she shoots at Toni.

Toni grins. “Yeah, arsenic. Luckily I’ve got Lovi, he figured it out before it was too late. We already had the trial, he’s behind bars for twenty years and can’t come up to us with a ten-foot-pole.”

His mom laughs. “Well, that’s good, now, isn’t it?”

Toni’s grin widens. “Yeah.”

We make our slow way out of the airport. Toni gives me a questioning look, but I shake my head at him and he looks away. But I know it’ll be a question later; I’m not normally _this_ shy around people since I’ve been around Toni. It’s because she knows what happened to me as well as Toni. Because she decided to replace the family Feli and I have lost.


	40. Strangely Quiet (Toni's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni tries to get Lovi to talk. Lovi doesn't want to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toni's POV (it actually fits naturally here!)! :) Fluffiness. Toni worrying over Lovi. Lovi being adorable and pouty.

Lovi is silent the whole way home, his eyes glued to his hands, which are pinned to his lap. He’s tense, and I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit.

I nudge him and he shoots me a placating smile. I frown at him, letting him know with one look I’m not happy with his silence. He ducks his head again, averting his eyes out the window.

Jesus giggles again, sitting in the car seat Lovi had plopped in my car earlier this morning. Now I understand its use, and I’m really happy he did what he did. But I want to know what’s wrong.

“Lovi,” I say in an undertone.

“Not now,” he mutters, fidgeting with his hands as if he just doesn’t know what to do with them. “Maybe later.”

“Lovi,” I protest, “Come on.”

Lovi shakes his head. “No.”

“What’s wrong, honey?” Mom asks.

I grin at her in the mirror. “Nothing. He’s just being stubborn and refusing to answer a question. Don’t worry about it. Dad’s probably at work right now, but he gets home around six, six thirty.”

Lovi coughs. “No, he’s not. I told you, he already knows. He’s been home. That’s why he didn’t leave when we did.”

I glance at him. “Why’d you tell him?”

Lovi shrugs. “I was actually telling him you’d been poisoned and it came up.”

I roll my eyes at him. “‘It just came up’,” I mock lightly. “Dork.”

“Nerd,” he fires back, then falls back into his strange silence.

“You’re going to talk to me,” I tell him stubbornly.

“Maybe I will, maybe I won’t,” he says vaguely. “Just not now. Let it be. I’ll tell you when I tell you.”

I frown at him. “You’re making me worried.”

“Don’t worry about me,” he brushes it off, waving a dismissive hand. “I’m fine.”

“I don’t think you are,” I disagree with a frown. “That’s why I’m asking.”

“Oh, for God’s sake,” he grumbles, crossing his arms grumpily and looking away.

Mom laughs. “I don’t think he’s ready to answer that just yet, honey. Just let it be and he’ll tell you later. I’m guessing he’s waiting to be alone, and not in public, to talk about it.”

“What she said,” Lovi agrees, jerking a thumb over his shoulder at her.

“Fine,” I agree reluctantly, but I can tell by the look on his face he knows I’m not happy about it.


	41. What The Hell Is Wrong? (Lovi's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni drags Lovi into a more private setting (AKA his bedroom) to ask "what the hell is wrong?". Lovi has a lengthy answer, and Toni has a return for everything. (Because he's adorable and doesn't want Lovi to be stressed & upset.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovi's POV. More family stuff comes up.

The moment his father and mother are engaged in similar hugs—along with some mouth-to-mouth—Toni grabs my hand and drags me up the hall into what I guess is his room and shuts the door.

Toni turns and flops down on his bed, the side of which faces the door. “What the hell is wrong? You’re really quiet and shy and shit and Mom’s picking up on that.”

I let myself sink down the wall next to the door, dropping my eyes to my knees. “A lot of things. Also I’m trying to find my footing around her. That’s why I said my family came up. She asked. Seemed pretty upset about it, too. Said she’ll be Feli and I’s family now, what with my living relatives hating me.”

Toni crosses his arms defensively. “You also don’t normally snap at me.”

“I’m stressed,” I mutter. “I’m not trying to snap.”

“What’re you so stressed about?”

I cough a little, rubbing my eye uneasily. “A lot.”

“Lovi, that’s not an answer,” he protests wearily.

I pull myself to my feet and drop next to him, my head falling against his shoulder. “Family. The kid from eighth. Everyone else’s families. Being nineteen. Grandpa. Being an adult—and the oldest in my family. Gil. Francis. Joan. Kids at school. My glasses got cracked when he threw them and they’re expensive to replace. My contacts haven’t gotten here yet. Feli. Where we’re gonna live long-term, now that Grandpa Alessio’s behind bars. Grandpa Lucca. My cousins. You. It’s not just a simple answer.”

There’s a pause, a tense silence, then Toni’s arm finds its way around my shoulders. “Who’s Lucca?”

“Grandpa Lucca,” I correct quietly. “He’s not the only Lucca in my family. He’s my grandpa and I’m wondering how he’ll react to Grandpa Alessio being in jail. He hasn’t said anything yet—he occasionally texts me—but I’m expecting he will. They contact family—usually—when that happens.”

Another silence. “What about your cousins?”

I shift uneasily, pulling my feet up on the bed and pressing closer to him. “A group of them called on my birthday. And not the nice ones, they called to tell me just how worthless and stupid I am and how I’m stressing their parents out, blah blah blah. One of them threatened to come down here and fight me if I didn’t stop liking guys. Which complicates our relationship on top of it already being complicated and scares me. These are the Italian mafia sons. The ones who know how to fight and get their way.”

Toni stiffens. “They won’t touch you,” he snaps automatically.

I wince. “Toni, I can’t risk that. They’re the _mafia._ Do you have any clue what that means?”

“I know enough,” he says stubbornly.

I groan a little. “They’re built to kill. To maim and torture. If they find out we’ve even been discussing dating, we’re both dead.”

Toni rolls his eyes. “They wouldn’t dare. My dad’s a cop and I can put him on red alert.”

“Do that if you want to,” I shrug. “You’d need the SWAT team to take these guys.”

Toni shrugs. “Then I can put _them_ on red alert, too. Just in case. I’m not letting them hurt you.”

There’s a pause; another, more tense silence fills the air between us and tastes stale in the room.

Then Toni sighs and says, “Long-term speaking, Gil or I would let you crash with us. And I’m guessing Feli would want to stay with Ludwig, too. You don’t have to worry about that. Seriously, if Mom even knew you were _suggesting_ getting your own place she’d smother you with mom-speak. Don’t get her started. She’ll go on for hours until you give up. She’s practically adopted you now.”

I roll my eyes. “Whatever.”

Toni glances at me. “What about Gil, Francis, and Joan?”

I avert my eyes. “I don’t know my footing around Joan and Francis. Francis is being nice to me, but I don’t trust him. Joan is...trying to be friendly, I think, but I don’t get most of the social cues I should understand by now so I’m not sure. Gil...Gil’s more complicated. I think I actually upset him when I ended up coming and sleeping with you cause I was so stressed. He seems happy now, but I don’t know if he expects me to make it up to him or what the hell’s going on there. I don’t know if he’s just being weird or himself or whatever, or if he’s jealous, or he’s just hurt. I don’t know.”

Toni frowns. “Well, Joan would be trying to be friendly. She’s one of the Bad Touch Family. Francis, I don’t know what to tell you. He’ll be there if you ask him to be, if that’s what it takes. You’re one of the Bad Touch Family, we’re all here for you when you need us. Me, especially. What about the kids at school?”

I close my eyes. “I don’t know if you noticed, but most of them weren’t too happy to see me when you and Gil brought me along. Some of them are more...violent...and might act on that.”

Toni’s frown deepens. “They won’t touch you. Not while we’re around. And if anyone _does_ confront you, Gil and I will stand up for you. Even if Francis doesn’t. And yeah, I noticed. I also noticed you got upset about that. If they’re gonna be negative and reject you because of who you were yesterday, they don’t deserve you. Don’t worry about them.”

A tiny smile pulls at my lips at that. There’s a shorter, calmer pause before Toni presses, “You don’t have to worry about anyone else’s family, either. What’s done is done, and we’re all the happier for it. Your family...if they ever do call to be mean to you or come down to do that, no one will stand for it. Feli, Ludwig, Gil, Francis, me, Mom, Dad, Doctor Beilshmidt, we all know you and none of us will let that stand.”

I glance at him quickly. He seems serious enough. Then he adds, “And your contacts’ll get here soon enough. Dad replaced your old address as Gil and I’s, so you don’t have to worry about it going to your old place—which, by the by, he cleaned you guys’ stuff out and moved it to Gil’s so none of it’s been left behind. Your grandpa’s stuff is yours to sort through.”

I make note to do that later. Toni shrugs. “Your glasses still work. And they’ll work until the contacts get here. Even if they don’t, I’m sure Gil’s dad would replace them and not charge you a thing.”

I scoff a little, but I figure he’s right about that. Not that I’d easily accept paying nothing for something so expensive, but he’s right.

Here, Toni pauses. Then he asks quietly, “What about me?”

I shift and pull him down so he’s laying on the bed next to me, then curl up against him. “I don’t know. That’s the only thing I’m unsure about, which is why I’m stressed. I love you, I know that, I don’t want to lose you. Which is kinda stressful when you get poisoned like that. But that kinda ties into family. If...if we really become a thing, then I’d have to say something. At least to Grandpa Lucca, if not someone else. If he doesn’t go spreading it. I haven’t talked to them, really talked, in years. And I don’t know if I want to. They scare me. Enough so I’m scared they’ll hurt you. Especially if I confirm there’s anything there more than friendship. I don’t want anyone to get hurt, least of all you.”

There’s a silence. He’s stiff, his eyes are open, and he doesn’t respond to my soft touch. Then, after an agonizing minute that feels like a million years, he finally loosens up, his eyes close, and he moves to wrap his arms around me. “For one, they won’t hurt you. For two, you don’t have to tell them anything. They’re not obligated to know. For three, I can defend myself, I know how to fight. Except, obviously, against poison. And if you really want to tell your grandfather, you can ask him flat-out not to spread the news if you want to.”

I bury my face against his chest. “I didn’t say you can’t fight, Toni. It’s an occupational hazard of falling in love, so to speak. Whether or not you can fight, there’s always that nagging worry they’re stronger, faster, they have more stamina, there’s always something to worry about.”

Toni chuckles. “You worry too much. Try and just let go for a bit. Even just a minute helps. Stop thinking about the future and live in the now, how about that?”

I drag myself out of the dark pits of my mind into the fluffy clouds of the now, sliding my arms around him and focusing instead on the warmth encompassing me and the comfort I find in the touch. _Breathe. Let go. Focus on this moment, on this embrace, on this room. Don’t let yourself sink into another panic attack. Breathe._


	42. Grandpa Lucca (Lovi's POV)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovi calls Grandpa Lucca (other grandparent). Fluff ensues. Lovi describes himself as "head-over-heels" in love with Toni. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovi's POV. FLUFF. Happy family moments. :) "DATE HIM THEN." (AKA Grandpa Lucca's answer! XD)

Grandpa Lucca laughs. “I should’ve known something was wrong about him. Ha! I’m not all that surprised, actually. Are you boys alright?”

“We’re fine,” I assure him. “Just tired. And kinda homeless. We’re staying with our friend, but I don’t know if it’s gonna last long-term. Speaking of which. Um, know why we left Italy?”

“What, your liking of boys?”

I wince. “Yeah. Well...I met someone. He’s been persistent and patient for going on four years now and I’m falling for him. His name’s Toni—Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, technically—and he’s from Spain. He’s really patient and sweet and he’s a bit stubborn but at times, with me, that’s good because he didn’t give up even though it took him years to earn my trust. But I don’t know what to do about it now. The mafia boys said they’d beat me up if they heard I hadn’t stopped liking boys, and now I’m hopelessly head-over-heels falling for one. Like, I’m not even sure if I should date him or just stay friends. I don’t want to start a fight. I don’t want anyone getting hurt, either.”

Grandpa is quiet for awhile, then he says, “Well, does he make you happy?”

“God, yes, he does,” I answer automatically. “He’s one of the few people that can make me smile even when I’m stressed and pull me from a panic attack—not that he’s aware he’s done it.”

“If he makes you happy, go for it,” he says. “I’ll see if I can talk to boys down, and if I can’t I’ll warn you to be on guard.”

“Toni’s dad’s a cop,” I tell him. “He’s got direct access to a police station and even the SWAT team if he decides to tell his dad.”

“Well, do that, too,” he agrees. “That seems like a safe option. If I warn you, be on guard and do that. Until then, go the fuck ahead and date the boy. But I’m gonna wanna meet him when I get down there.”

I can’t help the shy smile. “Of course.”

“Love you, kiddo,” he chuckles.

“Love you, too, Grandpa Lucca.”

The line goes dead. I shake my head, taking a deep breath. That’s over with. And now I have an answer.


End file.
